Something like MN but not MN

[tiggeri]

I have really enjoyed being on MN but recently getting a bit fed up of some of it. Is there a similar forum? Not netmums!

It's the constant trans bashing and a sort of vibe of anti left that seems to be trickling through. Also I find that most people are middle class and wealthy, I'd like a forum that's a bit more diverse.

I don't think there's a limit on the number of threads in a section. What did you want to discuss that you feel there's no room for?

The feminist board is only taken up with threads about trans, there is no room for discussion about anything else. If anyone challenges the opinions they get a pile on. It's not balanced at all.

Women's rights are being removed. Right now. They are being taken away in law. This is something that feminists will want to talk about and, no, they won't be 'nice' and 'kind'.

There is no justification to argue that males can identify as women and have their rights. Rights to be on their sports teams, in their prisons, in their refuges, in their hospital wards, in their maternity rights, in their medical literature, in their whole language they use to talk about their rights and in their single sex spaces. If you try to challenge that, yes, you will get a pile on.

Maybe you have become so complacent with the rights that women fought for and won that you have forgotten what life was like for women before we had them? The right to speak freely is one. Are you happy to give that up?

However, you can ignore those threads or hide the the topics and use the rest of the site. Or you can whinge about the site and leave. You are not the first to do that and you won't be the last. We have flouncers corner for a reason

There is plenty of diversity across MN but, like I said, that goes hand in hand with opposing views. It's not for everyone, that's for sure.

Mumsnet Exiles?

You know, back in the days of Usenet, before html was invented, I used to read the feminist (hurrah!) & psychology sections. The psychology one amused me because as soon as anybody started a thread, they were swamped by posters who claimed to be professional psychologists & denounced every single thread for being lame pop psychology. 'That's not what this section is about!', they thundered, until everyone except them gave up & wandered away.

At this point I waited, genuinely interested to see what topics these professionals would come ujp with. I was willing to be educated, or perhaps baffled by some new jargon or ideas.

I waited... and waited...

Nothing.

The issue with Mumsnet is you can be disparaging of all men, hateful on the trans rights issues and attack white working class with impunity. If you dare to fight back against 1 and 2 the members attack you or you get deleted for "not being in the spirit" and on three you just get banned as racist despite someone attacking your race or nationality previously (with Mumsnet hq being fine with that) and there is no comeback at all. This attitude is backed up by Mumsnet hq and it's their site so they can do what they want. There is no right to free speech on a private forum but don't pretend it isn't a self selecting echo chamber because that is what it seems to be.

It's not about opposing views. The feminist board is only taken up with threads about trans, there is no room for discussion about anything else. If anyone challenges the opinions they get a pile on. It's not balanced at all.

They don't get a pile on, they get people robustly challenging their views, which are often poorly argued and not resourced. Not my problem if there's an imbalance. And if you want different topics discussed, start your own threads. Otherwise it smacks somewhat of 'these women should be talking about the things I want to discuss'. Which is not a great stance.

@Whoarethewho

The issue with Mumsnet is you can be disparaging of all men, hateful on the trans rights issues and attack white working class with impunity. If you dare to fight back against 1 and 2 the members attack you or you get deleted for "not being in the spirit" and on three you just get banned as racist despite someone attacking your race or nationality previously (with Mumsnet hq being fine with that) and there is no comeback at all. This attitude is backed up by Mumsnet hq and it's their site so they can do what they want. There is no right to free speech on a private forum but don't pretend it isn't a self selecting echo chamber because that is what it seems to be.

You're so right! White men are really victimised. It's heartbreaking.

OP, if I can manage to think of anywhere in the world where white people and men aren't cruelly marginalised, I'll let you know asap, hun xx

People have tried to start threads asking for help in the appropriate topics and still get jumped on by people with their views about what trans people should and shouldn't be doing.

I've seen it plenty in the LGBT children section. A parent who is clearly struggling asks how to access help for their child (or any number of other things) and then gets loads of posters jumping on saying "I know nothing about how to help in this situation but make sure they use the proper toilets and don't infringe on MY rights" the parent then disappears because they are getting hounded and it just turns into another 'heres a bad thing one trans person did once- link' thread.

Nobody is saying there isn't space for discussion, but there also needs to be a place for support, and people don't have that here.

Why don't the people on FWR, who don't have an interest in supporting or helping LGBT parents simply hide that topic so we can get support too, or even just leave support threads for parents as support threads when there are a million threads the very same issues are already being discussed?

Many of the posters on FWR are LGBT parents or LGBT themselves. This is the problem when you lump all women's rights supporters as 'ant-trans'. It's not that at all. It's women's rights. And when they are threatened by changes in law, by anyone, they will defend those rights.

Why do they do it on threads where the poster is asking for support then? They turn a topic that is supposed to be helpful to parents into a political debate. What do those posters actually get put of doing that other than to take a source of support away from someone who desperately needs it?

Why not go onto religion, for example, and state your opinions on all of those topics simply because you can?

DifficultPifficult, I don't recognise your description of threads on the LGBT children's boards. Posters will give details of resources and organisations who perhaps do not suggest automatically affirming a child (some younger than 13) is trans, and starting done a route of medicalisation. That, to me, seems eminently sensible

Go and have a look at some of the threads where these kids are coming out as trans girls, trans boy threads are very slightly less problematic.

Suggestions of resources- great.

Asking which toilet someone's kid is going to use - not great at all.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Go and have a look at some of the threads where these kids are coming out as trans girls, trans boy threads are very slightly less problematic.

Suggestions of resources- great.

Asking which toilet someone's kid is going to use - not great at all.

I’d be surprised to find any chat forum where it’s built in that you can ask certain questions, or make certain comments, but others are forbidden.

It’s a shame Stonewall or Mermaids don’t have chat rooms (maybe they do?) because you’d get exactly what you’re looking for there in terms of support and affirmation.

Visiting a forum made up of people with a huge variety of viewpoints is never going to meet that need 100% of the time.

Support does not always come in the form of affirmation. Look at all the threads in relationships where people think their partner is 'mostly ok' until posters point out that they are in an abusive relationship. Agreeing, empathising and cheerleading has it's place in support. So does hearing some things that you don't really want to hear.

Nobody said anything about affirmation, but not giving any support and instead asking about their child's genitals, which bathroom they will use and stating political opinions rather than offering any actual advice isn't on.

It’s a shame Stonewall or Mermaids don’t have chat rooms (maybe they do?) because you’d get exactly what you’re looking for there in terms of support and affirmation.

I'm pretty sure Mermaids do.

WallaceinAnderland

Exactly. They want diverse but only topics and opinions they enjoy.. so just mute or hide the things they don’t like? Too simple though.

Totally with you OP. I find Reddit far superior (once you understand the format, there's a bit of a learning curve there). Reddit is what you make of it though, you have to unfollow the default subs and find your own little niches. Not exactly the same as this place but fun in a different way.

How do you hide stuff on the app?

Click on the three dots at the top of the thread

I mean how do you hide topics?

justthetalk.com.

Leftish, MUCH smaller than mumsnet so can be/feel cliquey, but good to dip into when this is getting a bit much (and I know what you mean).

Exactly. They want diverse but only topics and opinions they enjoy.. so just mute or hide the things they don’t like? Too simple though.

Agreed, a lot of posters should hide topics they don't like rather than hounding the people who need those topics out, I guess its more fun for them to take a support network away from people so they feel important though each unto their own.