Have you ever been to a wedding where someone was jilted?

[JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows]

Me and my friend tonight watched a (so bad it's good) film where a bride jilts the groom and he runs off with her sister as they sing a Cher song together we were discussing jilting, she said at Uni her friend's wedding was called off the night before when the bride had discovered an affair. And I remember as a teen my parents coming home only a couple of hours after they left for a wedding. The groom didn't show up to the service, he was seen leaving the hotel in the car of a woman waiting outside is jilting very rare? Have you ever known anyone jilted or a wedding cancelled last minute?

@MadamBatty

My mate’s grandmother back in the 1930s. Left Ireland for the US to save money to get married. When there was enough she got the boat home. Unfortunately during the journey her husband to be died. She didn’t know until she arrived back. The wedding was arranged a month after her arrival. She married his brother instead.

A mate 30 years ago arrived at the church, no sign of the groom. This was pre mobile phones.we all waited an hour or more...the groom was killed on his was to the church

OMG the groom being killed onto the way to the church, that’s the saddest thing I’ve read here 😭

When I was still at High school my best friend's sister was getting married. They already had a baby son together. The groom failed to turn up with absolutely no warning. My friends sister kept saying he must have been in an accident and she and her Mum rang around all local hospitals. It was surreal. The reception went ahead and guests were fed. One family had travelled from Australia. It turned out he had got really drunk on morning of wedding and could not even stand up. They got married three months later in registry office with witnesses taken off of street and bride in everyday clothes. Then they just came back and told people they were married. I don't know how she forgave him for humiliating and worrying her.

Not on the day but almost a week before my wedding he called it off. Didn't love me but when on his stag and then left the country so I had to sort it all out.
Found out a month later he had a 3 Yr old son, we were together 6 years and the mum had told him she would turn up at the wedding and tell me.
They weren't in a relationship but she felt I needed to know.
Anyway found out all of that a month after the wedding....took him to tell his parents they were grandparents.
Thats was it.
Took a year to get my head together but happy out now.
He got in touch after about 10 years and told me he's never loved anyone the way he loved me... he was a nice guy who made a mistake, a few mistakes. We both needed a clean slate though, there's no going back from that.
My now DH is fab, I truly loved the ex but never would have been truly happy the way I am now

@amusedbush as someone who was married at 25, divorced at 27, your friend of a friend is spot on!!

My mum knew this rather ‘county’ family and on the morning of the daughter’s wedding, her father found her in bed, crying.

He just said “Don’t you want to get married?”. When she said ‘No’ he just told her to get up, and immediately took her off for a walking holiday.

This happened quite a few years ago; I wish I had asked more about it and the aftermath.

The walking holiday is so quaintly old fashioned.

@NoddyMcPintsAlot It’s not offensive. I’m Irish and and a Irish twin. Always perplexed why this comes up on MN. Anyone who finds it offensives seriously needs to cop on. I'm also Irish and would fit the description of an Irish twin. It is offensive, it feeds in to a stereotype of the feckless Irish peasant breeding like rabbits on the instructions of the Pope.

Nice if you aren't offended but that's you.

@TrickyD

My mum knew this rather ‘county’ family and on the morning of the daughter’s wedding, her father found her in bed, crying.

He just said “Don’t you want to get married?”. When she said ‘No’ he just told her to get up, and immediately took her off for a walking holiday.

This happened quite a few years ago; I wish I had asked more about it and the aftermath.

The walking holiday is so quaintly old fashioned.

Walking holiday - that’s so lovely. Reminds me of when I broke up with my teenage boyfriend and was moping around the house, and my mum bundled me into the car to go and feed the ducks on the local pond. Feeding the ducks! I was 17! But you know what, it was an absolute tonic.

And on the way home we stopped off at a car accessories place so I could buy some tat for the car I was buying for when I passed my test. The young assistant in there was very handsome, and it was love at first sight...

The fickleness of youth.

Not at the altar, but by grandmother was engaged to a man who called everything off fairly close to their wedding because he realised he was gay. This was decades before the Consenting-Adults-In-Private act, so telling her the truth was a big risk, but he did it anyway because he wanted her to know that it really, really wasn't her fault. In return, she didn't tell anyone about this until it was finally decriminalised in 1969.

I often think about how brave he was to tell her, and how kind she was in return for that bravery. My grandmother met and married my grandfather and was very happy. I hope her first fiance found happiness too.

My best friend got married to a foreigner she met on holiday and was besotted with. He was very obviously not that into her and just wanted a visa. Even before the wedding there was hard evidence he was cheating on her with women from his home country. We told her not to go through with the wedding because she'd regret it and what do you know? She went through with it and regretted it because he ran off less than a year into the marriage. Expensive mistake. She's was suffering with her mental health before and after that everything just went even further down hill.

@thatwriterinthecorner I seem to have something in my eye...

@Fink

I'm Irish living in England, and a practising Catholic. I don't know about historically, but nowadays 'Irish twins' tends to be used disparagingly to imply that people who don't use artificial contraception are simpletons being manipulated by the patriarchal oppresors of the church hierarchy, i.e. we only have children so close together because we unthinkingly obey what the priest says, unlike the enlightened modern people who know how to put on a condom and aren't scared of threats of hellfire and brimstone that will result. It is quite insulting but I don't usually bother to correct people, I just roll my eyes and move the conversation on.

tbf though people still use that term in Ireland, my mother uses it all the time. It may have been started as a disparaging term but maybe we've reclaimed it or something

"No, but I think there must be quite a lot of cases where bride or groom increasingly don’t feel it’s the right thing, but go through with it anyway, because so much money will be wasted otherwise, people will have bought outfits, etc., not to mention huge family expectations.
Roll on a while and there’s a divorce."

This.

One of my friends' married her university boyfriend, at 22. Huge Catholic wedding - no expense spared sort of a thing. She's the only daughter and her parents went all out, she made a stunning bride and if you didn't know the background (which no one outside of the friendship group did) you would have thought she and the boyfriend were going to be married for life.

She'd walked out on him within a year for the man she'd started an affair with, having fallen for him prior to her wedding. The university boyfriend/husband (who was a bit too touchy-feely with a few of our female friends - myself included - for our liking) was devastated and smashed up their house before moving back in with his parents, taking their kittens (whom my friend doted on) with him. My friend's parents had paid the deposit for the house, and bought them most of the furniture, so they were out of pocket for a second time. Plus, devout in their Catholicism so not too impressed by the affair, or the impending divorce, either.

Friend married the bloke she'd been having an affair with, very quietly, four guests only (and one of those was a toddler), and most of us found out afterwards. Fast forward 15 years and she's miserable, feeling trapped in a loveless marriage and wishing she'd stayed with the first husband (who I'm told is happily remarried and loving his life post-divorce!). She won't leave her second husband, though, because of the furore caused by her first marriage/divorce. Difference is, there were only kittens involved in the first - there's a child (conceived through IVF, too) involved in this one.

As her friends, we all wish she'd jilted husband #1 at the altar, rather than go through with it, because she admits that she knew it wasn't right. She felt as though she had to go through with it, though, because of the money her parents had spent on it, their new house, furnishings. What price happiness, eh?

Not exactly jilted but another very sad story.
A lady local to me was getting married in Blackpool. For some reason she wanted to arrived by Quad bike and her dress got caught and she was very badly injured , I think she lost either 1 or both legs
People donated to pay for another wedding and I believe they did get married about a year later.

Not a jilting, but at a friends uncles wedding 40+ years ago an ex girlfriend claimed during the ceremony that they were married.

They weren’t.

The wedding had to stop. I don’t know what happened Re the reception but the uncle and fiancé married at a later date (he had to prove he wasn’t married first) and ex’s name was mud!

I know a few, an ex-boyfriend called off his wedding 3 days before as 'he had found out something' about his bride to be. I never found out what it was but they married later and had a very happy long marriage.
A friend was with his GF for 7 years and booked the wedding. His GF had cold feet but apparently didn't know how to tell him. She held on to the invites till 3 weeks before until he found them hidden in a drawer and sent them out himself. His close friends realized and joked between themselves they would buy a present on the way to the reception but he was blinkered and ignored their warnings. Finally he asked her outright and they cancelled the wedding 4 days before. Both later happily married other people.
The saddest one was a workmate whose DH told her on her wedding night that he was in love with her sister - who had been her chief bridesmaid - and they had been having an affair for months. She went on honeymoon on her own, and filed for divorce when she came back. It tore her family apart and she hasn't seen her sister or him since.

@VenusClapTrap you can't leave it there. Did you marry car parts man?!?!

@ancientgran it happened as the party were coming out of the church after the service. Absolutely tragic.

@SunshineCake ha ha no, sorry to spoil the story but we split up after going out for a year. He broke my heart actually; but I’m pleased to say I’m fully recovered and married a far nicer man in the end. he was bloody good looking though

A friend attended a big wedding and when it was his turn to give a speech the groom announced that the best man had been sleeping with the bride and he wanted a divorce,

@LordEmsworth

"Irish twins" is offensive because it stems from the belief that Irish Catholics in the 19th century were poor, uneducated, feckless, and had no self-control. Hence they procreated quickly and had children they couldn't afford. Hence the Great Famine, Irish people died of hunger because they couldn't stop shagging like rabbits, it was all their own fault.

So yeah, pretty offensive. The fact that a lot of people use it without realising where it comes from, does not make it less offensive.

Both my Grandmother and DH's Grandmother were Irish and openly referred to our DCs as nearly 'Irish Twins' because they were born only 53 weeks apart. They were both well aware of the origins of the term but used it anyway (as did their Irish friends/family).

Distant family member. Her fiance went back to his own country for the stag and then phoned her to say he wasn't going through with the wedding or coming back because he was now with his male best friend.

@NameChangedForThisFeb21

Wow...as an Irish person, from a huge Irish Catholic family, I never realised I should have been so gobsmackingly offended by my own use of the term “Irish Twin”. I guess I should be apologising to myself for that .

Hah, obviously you aren't as 'Irish' as the non-Irish posters who are enraged on your behalf 😉

[quote Monkeytennis97]@ancientgran it happened as the party were coming out of the church after the service. Absolutely tragic.[/quote]
Yes so sad.

Hah, obviously you aren't as 'Irish' as the non-Irish posters who are enraged on your behalf What about the Irish posters who think it is offensive?

It doesn't actually matter if some people choose to use it, it is still offensive. My husband hates being referred to as BAME, he says he'd rather be called the N word. Does that mean we can all start using the N word?

tbf though people still use that term in Ireland, my mother uses it all the time. It may have been started as a disparaging term but maybe we've reclaimed it or something Some people might. My mother would have been really insulted if someone said it to her about me and my sibling.