Trapped toddler parents:"Where else can you post tuff tray pictures and moan about your husband?"

[PinkDaydreams]

Following on from the previous thread. Thanks @footprintsintheslow for the thread title inspiration 😁

Thank you so much for your kind words and reassurance regarding potty training, this is why I love this thread, not one of you are judgey at all!!

@PinkDaydreams I've learnt that an awful lot of people have selective memories about their own experiences with parenting, particularly milestones like potty training. A smile and nod will work - it failing that, lie. I started telling people DS was sleeping through because they started to talk to me like I was doing something wrong - he was only 6 months old! But lying was easier for a bit!

I spoke to my dr this morning and he has prescribed me citalopram. V nervous about it.

@OhToBeASeahorse,. So pleased for you your GP has been able to help you. My friend takes citalopram and she has found it very helpful. Take one day at a time. You've taken the hardest step by talking to your GP x

@OhToBeASeahorse PS I took fluoxetine a few years back to deal with infertility related depression and work stress and found I only needed them for a few months, you may find the same, just see how you go on x

@PinkDaydreams you do you, as long as your family is doing fine that’s all that matters.

@OhToBeASeahorse well done lovely. Hopefully this will be a turning point for you. PND is an utter fucker, depression layered with maternal guilt like a shit trifle. I took duoloxitine for about 6 months after I had DS and it really helped.
Remember we’re here for you x

Size 7s bought thank you! :)

Library visit this morning for a couple of hours. What is library etiquette? I thought we were meant to be quiet but there was a children's party going on! The parents did get told off by library staff for eating food but nothing said to them regarding adults and children running round screaming, and I mean literally screaming the parents were doing it too to encourage them. Seemed like an inappropriate game to be playing in a library

Raining this afternoon, I'm so tempted to take the sides off sons cotbed but he's sleeping so well that I think I only want to do it to give me something to do as I'd have to clear under the bed out. @Camomila I blame you and your sorting!!

@MonkeyPuddle I laughed at shit trifle. I'm going to give Pandas a call later - I'm hamstrung because when she is napping I have to be quiet so them I feel guilty when I have to do stuff when she is awake. Feel like she is getting a rough deal

I think our library is still shut which is a pity. We are getting our garden done next week which means there will be a mini digger in the garden. DS will love that.

Aaah sorry @PinkDayDreams I had a successful sort out, put some baby toys and megablocks away and put some role play stuff in those drawers instead. DS2 got put in a variety of hats! Am going to use some nectar points to buy some wooden baskets to make the kallax units nice to look at next (I have the fabric boxes but they are starting to break)

I think our library is pretty relaxed, iirc pre-covid they had some little tables for DC to eat at in the childrens section. Full on party might be pushing it a bit though! But little toddlers wandering about are fine. I think there's an older kids/teen study bit where they have to be quiet. I might venture back next week, I'm getting a bit hayfevery going to the park atm and antihistamines knock me out.

In the spirit of sharing on our lovely non-judgemental thread...mine isn't toddler related but I feel like a bit of a bad friend/person today. My friend has bought a house, I sent her a nice congratulations message but then had a bit of a cry as I am jealous/sad as am now the only person with DC I know still renting. Really though I should just be happy for her.

Have bought this fluffy owl thing, make noises when the baby cries. Hopefully is it full of magical power and will make DD sleep longer than an hour.

@OhToBeASeahorse she’s not getting a rough deal if you need to get on with things! You will be though if you don’t get the support you deserve.

Library near us is no food but happy for noise. Not screaming though. I would have been giving stink eyes towards them.

@Camomila I understand that, we rent our house, we’d love to buy it but DP has been a fucking idiot with money in the past and his credit rating is shit. I get jealous when people buy their houses.

@MonkeyPuddle I have a friend who swears by it. U never know! DD had fallen asleep by herself tonight (well, I was shushing but not touching). It wont last but having done it once feels like progress.

@Camomila dont feel bad. I think that's a totally natural response. Is there any chance of you saving for a deposit? Such a tough situation because our laws are so bad for renters.

OhtobeaSeahorse We are saving up and will probably/hopefully be able to buy next year but in the meantime we are in a bit of a rubbish flat where the landlord takes ages to fix anything, and when we do buy it will either be a tinier flat than we have now or we'll have to move to the outskirts of Brighton and move away from their lovely school/nursery/less grandma childcare/be trickier to get to work etc.
I spend way too much time thinking what will be best for the DC and weighing up all the pros and cons (school vs space etc) and stressing myself out.

DH is not very helpful and only cares that we can park the car

(sorry for the long moan.)

In less depressing news I tried a Ben&Jerries peace pop lolly today - amazing. Would definitely recommend buying them (and eating them during nap time so you dont have to share)

@Camomila, no need at all for you to feel bad, perfectly normal for you to have that reaction. I'm sure we all feel like at some point with something. I avoided one of my best friend's calls when she was telling me about her third pregnancy, I'd been trying for 3 years by that point and just sat in the bath and cried! Think I avoided her calls for about 3days... We are still friends!

Hopefully you can find some options. Are you restricted to a certain area with your DS1 being at school?

Good luck tonight with the magic owl @MonkeyPuddle.

@OhToBeASeahorse, hope you get some sleep tonight too, that is definitely progress with your DD going asleep with the hushing.

We went to the bigger library today too, just us there in the child section. First time DS2 has been. Hopefully we were well behaved, both boys kept moving the one way signs though.

Hope everyone has a decent night.

Little owly twat isn’t the magical miracle worked I’d hoped.
DD will sleep in my arms or the pram. As soon as her toes touch the cot mattress her eyes ping open. I’ve put her down 9 times so far tonight. She cries, I pick her up, asleep in seconds.

Oh no sorry it hasn't worked @monkeypuddle, I get so optimistic when I try something new and it's frustrating when it doesn't work out. I hope you managed to get some sleep.

DD is back to waking every 2 hours with the added bonus of her being able to say milk so she just sobs milk when she wakes up. Were staying away for the next 3 nights, can't see her sleeping at all in a travel cot. The amount of stuff we need to take is ridiculous. I've also realised that DD doesn't actually play with toys she just potters around with bits, makes it hard to know what to take for her to play with

Where are you staying @Motherofmonsters, a little holiday?

@MonkeyPuddle sorry, remind me how old your DD is again? We co-slept from 5-15 months to get an ok sleep. I know that’s not for everyone tho. We also had that owl and it did not work! 😔

@OhToBeASeahorse that’s good news that you got something from the gp. Hope it helps you feel more like yourself.

The farm was fab the other day. And we had some ivf stuff yesterday. So, just a day for food shopping today.
I might get things for planting with DD. Although I have no idea what I’m doing there x

Went to the garden centre this morning, DS1 walking alongside me and DS2 in his buggy. Now perhaps I'm a bit paranoid or a bit tired but it felt like every single 'older' person was looking at us and thinking 'why are they here?'. I felt like we shouldn't have been there. Anyway they have an aquarium centre so boys got to look at some tropical fish for a change.

@MonkeyPuddle sorry to hear that the owl was a let down. That's all you need. How are you feeling today?

@Motherofmonsters, hope you and DD are better from your colds and you enjoy the wedding. Travel cots, I know what you mean, they can just sense when something is different.

@BeHereNowx32, glad you enjoyed the farm. It's hard knowing what to plant I agree. I tried to do some sunflowers but DS1 tipped all the pots over when we had put them in so I have abandoned the planting and just let them play with the mud and stones for now.

@BeHereNowx32 she’s 6 months in a day or two. She wakes every 45-60 minutes and has done since 4 months. I am on my arse with tiredness 😂

@Motherofmonsters and @Chocolatetrifle I’ll be using that bloody owl every night if it kills me just to get my moneys worth out of it.

I know it’s not for everyone but we’ve decided to sleep train starting again tonight, we’ve tried, co sleeping, pick up/put down, feeding to sleep, drowsy but awake, rocking, Moses basket in the cot. Ugh.

I told DP that I’m getting close to depression kicking in but frankly all I need is some good sleep and a good shag, but I can’t be bothered with the latter as I’m knackered.

I’m impressed you managed to to keep DS walking alongside you in the garden centre Chocolatetrifle! DS bloody loves trying to touch everything when we go!

Weather is looking clear for us tomorrow so we’re going to go to the park, there’s a big wooded area with bluebells that I want to see. DP and I used to hike to a gorgeous bluebell wood every year before the children came along, it was magical.

@motherofmonsters I hope this weekend goes ok!

@MonkeyPuddle, 'walking alongside' a term to use loosely to mean- stood next to me for 1 minute then ran ahead trying to touch everything!

I'd choose the full nights sleep too over the other at the moment @MonkeyPuddle

It's raining but don't want to stay in the house all afternoon so going to put boys in the car and go to Co-op and get some treats and a couple of tubs of Play-doh slime they sell there. I find it's the best slime as it doesn't stick to the clothes.

@Chocolatetrifle I've not heard of play doh slime, I'll have to check that out!

Today in one word.... ARRGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Roll on bedtime, thankfully DH has taken the hint as to how stressful and difficult today has been and bought us some fancy cakes to have with a cuppa once Ds is in bed, can't wait!
Tomorrow is a new day

I’ll be using that bloody owl every night if it kills me just to get my moneys worth out of it.
My cousin is pregnant - I am going to give her so much barely used stuff! Hopefully she'll get some use out of it.

MonkeyPuddle You've probably already tried this but I used to get the DC to sleep and put a warm wheat bag in the cot, then I'd take the wheat bag out and the cot sheet would feel warm like being in my arms (just check the cot feels warm not boiling!)

chocolatetrifle I do the same, if it rains I go to Asda! Last time I went it was full of mums with babies and toddlers.

Hope your DC are fast asleep and you've Enjoyed several fancy cakes this evening Pinkdaydreams

Well, DD slept from 8pm - 2:30am. My actual god.
We did usual bedtime routine of bath, stories and bedtime song with her brother, then into our room (she’s in here with me in the cot) to feed. She fell asleep on the breast but woke instantly when placed into the cot. Sang our bedtime song again and left her. She cried. Went in to comfort and sing the bedtime song every 5 minutes, she was asleep after about 50minutes. Yes it was bloody awful listening to her cry, but she was warm, fed, etc. She was pissed off as she wanted to sleep in our arms but that’s just not doable any longer.
She woke at 2:30 and has had a feed, fell asleep at the breast, popped her back in the cot she made a quiet grumble, I came out the room to use the loo and she’s quiet again, not sure if she’s asleep or not so I don’t really want to go back in until a bit of time has passed! So I’m sitting on the stairs with a cup of tea in the buff 😂 she’s not crying anyway.

I know leaving them to cry isn’t for everyone, it wasn’t for me until I reached desperation, please don’t judge too harshly. I was having some horrible intrusive thoughts and couldn’t go on any longer.

@Chocolatetrifle apparently vinegar gets slime out of clothes. And I would take the walking alongside you for a minute as an absolute win, god I find going to the garden centre a bit exciting! People giving shitty looks get get sodded, I think people are used to not seeing children out and about anymore and that’s changing now lockdown is easing so are getting their feathers ruffled a bit.

@PinkDaydreams hope you have a better day tomorrow.

@Camomila heating her cot is something we haven’t tried as I’ve not been able to find a hot water bottle! So DP has ordered one from Amazon, will use tomorrow. Make sense why it might help.

Have changed which park we’re going to tomorrow, DS wants to go to the one near the airport to see the planes, fine by me, there’s a nice walk around a big pond and a decent playground usually with an ice cream van.
DP is taking both children to see his parents in the morning, will give me about 2 hours, so I’m going to slap on a face mask, do a good 30 mins meditation and some yoga and give my hair a wash and a good blow dry. It’s my idea of heaven.

Right I’ve drank my cup of tea and she’s still quiet so fingers crossed I can get back into bed without waking her!