Trapped toddler parents:"Where else can you post tuff tray pictures and moan about your husband?"

[PinkDaydreams]

Following on from the previous thread. Thanks @footprintsintheslow for the thread title inspiration 😁

@PinkDaydreams it is so difficult to get started with pecs it takes a lot of time. My son just passes me the cards so it’s not actually pecs but at least he has a way of communicating (some times)
Try SENDIASS they’re usually great fro advice.
Do you have portage? It stops at age 3 here but not sure about other LAs.

@squishymamma thank you! I will definitely try the massage, I have been doing one but then get worried I'm doing it wrong 😣😣 he's been a lot calmer this afternoon and slept longer too. Just hope it continues at night! Think everyone's noticing how tired I am, my mum commented earlier about how "snappy" I've been recently!

Tried to get some time out earlier, took my toddler to the garden centre and soft play area. Was good fun and now he's decided he wants nothing to do with his dinner tonight! Can never win 🙇‍♀️😂

Hello, just thought I would check in. I haven't been on much today as I have a new phone with no case or screen protector so it's been far away from little hands. Today is day four of not being able to see anyone and my patience has totally left. I have been shouty mummy. His skin has cleared up though so I will be out the door tomorrow. We've made gingerbread men where we fell out a lot. Me 'this recipe says 2 teaspoons, DS no it says 3... Turn around and he's poured bi carb out everywhere 'mummy this is fun to play in' and on it went. The bubbles have been out, washed his cars, played with the potato heads (highly recommend) and the faithful kinetic sand.

That's exciting @monkeypuddle, how far away are you moving. I'm very lucky to have all my family within 15mins of me.

@pinkdaydreams, he might just not be ready. I potty trained DS at 3.5, he just didn't get it before, we tried 3 separate times. It took months after for him to tell me he needs to go, he still has the odd accident.

(I use the app and it just hates paragraphs. I do type them in I promise)

@pinklashes98 have you had him weighed recently? Just a thought. My DD was inconsolable at night and it turned out she had a tongue tie and wasnt feeding properly. It's awful, that desperate relentless cry.

@Checkingout811 dont be afraid to give yourself a little thinking time if you feel you need it. I'm so sorry you're in this position.

@MonkeyPuddle that's brilliant!! Would be lovely to live near family

@OhToBeASeahorse hiya, yes at his last weigh in he had put on weight. But I haven't had a more recent one, i might try that too. Thank you for that, I know it's horrible. I just feel so weak and helpless seeing him like that.

Also agree with the earlier post, since posting on the thread I feel a lot better. I've been bottling up so much stuff and I will admit I've been super cranky...not proud of it 😟

Just jumping backwards to the toothbrush chat from the other day, tonight my DS2 was really keen on his brother's electronic toothbrush (Star Wars). He just has a normal one at the moment. He loved the sound of it. So apologies if anyone who was having difficulty with teeth brushing already has an electric toothbrush, but I thought it might be a bit of a novelty for some and help them. Brush-Baby do electric toothbrushes on Amazon for under 2 year olds too. I'm going to get DS2 one. Come to think of it now DS1 did have one of those at DS2's age. Sorry if it's stating the obvious!

@Motherofmonsters, sounds like you've coped really well staying in. The activities sound great! Glad DS is feeling better. How is DD's sleep?

@pinklashes98, we are all shouty mum at times, we can't help it. We are all doing our best for our little ones, try not to feel guilty. Surely even Mary Poppins snapped sometimes .

Hope everyone gets a decent sleep tonight.

@Chocolatetrifle that's made me feel a lot better and brought back some lovely memories of watching Mary poppins as a child! Thank you ☺️

@chocolatetrifle - still terrible, I managed a couple hours in my bed last night though. She's taken forever to go to sleep today, at one point she was looking at the ceiling saying yay bees and then clapping??

@MonkeyPuddle that's very exciting potential news

@Chocolatetrifle maybe we will try an electric toothbrush rather than the manual handling wrestling technique that we currently do.

My baby has screamed for about 75% of today. Neve known a baby like it. H Sid she's never from my arm...but the minute she's put down she's hysterical. I do leave her at times as I do need to get stuff done but she just works up to a frenzy. I'm exhausted after packing for holiday. Definitely need a holiday now.

@footprintinthesnow hope they are feeling better today and less screamy

DD woke up once last night! I'm in shock. We're off to toddler club this morning and then to the in laws in the afternoon and for dinner

Hello ladies, could do with some help if anyone has any ideas. DD is going through an insane patch at the moment. She has started with tantrums and I'm not talking little ones, I'm talking full blown screaming for half an hour, throwing herself around, hitting, kicking, slapping tatrums. She hurts herself and us and won't let anyone touch her or even look at her sometimes without kicking off again. I'm really struggling with them and need some consistent way of dealing with it.

Occasionally I can catch them early and calm her down by distracting her but if it goes past that then no distraction, praise, songs etc will do anything. I've tried putting her on the bottom step, ignoring etc but all of these inevitably lead to her doing something that will hurt herself. I've tried putting her in the cot so at least she is safe but I'm reluctant to do this as we have enough battles with getting her to nap that I don't want to make her associate her bed with somewhere she goes when she's naughty. And she's already starting to climb out so that won't be a safe space for long.

Please any ideas for someone on the verge of a breakdown over it. It's every day, probably three big ones a day. I'm exhausted.

*starting to TRY and climb out of her cot that should be. She hadn't managed yet but it won't be long.

@Drumst1ck - DS uses to have big screaming tantrums, I found just sitting near him saying I'm here if you need a cuddle would help as he would eventually come and sit on me. He used to slam his head into the floor and get massive bruises. I would try and sit him up and say i can't let you hurt yourself. Sometimes i would have him in a loose hug and he would just flail about. If it was a charging at me hitting one I would either remove him or myself (stepping over the babygate) and say i can't let you hurt me so I'm going to make some space between us. He's got a lot better now he's bigger, he still loses control but I don't have to restrain or leave the room anymore I just say the phrases and he understands. He will still bang his head but he does it more gently, I think he likes the sensation of it.

@drumst1ck, sending you support, it's very upsetting when they do this. My DS1 has thrown epic tantrums, he still can, including the headbanging, rolling around on the floor, throwing etc @Motherofmonsters gives great advice.

I read somewhere that the naughty step won't do any good, it should be time-in not time-out as they need help and time to process the emotions that are causing the tantrum, especially if they can't actually explain what it is, so cuddles, holding until they physically stop crying or shaking. Very very hard though.

Both my DS1 (he'll be 4 in Oct) and DS2 (17months) were screaming at the same time this morning and I just got out the bubbles, blew a few and they automatically stopped! So I'm going to try that one again. Hope you are ok.

@Motherofmonsters, glad your DD only woke up once, that's great and hope it's the same for tonight. Hope the toddler class was good.

Pouring here, not done much. Have done a teddy Bears picnic complete with teddy bear teeth toothbrushing. DS2 quite liked it. Obviously can't kid DS1 that teddies have teeth!

@drumst1ck have you for Instagram? ‘Little big feelings’ on there has a tantrums section and I’ve found it really good. I do a lot of acknowledgment of feelings,pre the big tantrum it can help diffuse it. so this morning DS didn’t wanna get out of bed, I told him I know he doesn’t want to get up, when he’s all snuggly and warm, I wouldn’t want to either, it’s time to get dressed, do you want wheetabix or shreddies for breakfast?

When he was younger he would have proper floor head banging ones, I would try and hold him so he was safe and tell him it’s ok to feel XYZ, or if he wasn’t at risk of hurting himself I would say that when he’s ready mummy is right here to cuddle him if he wants to.

I’ve also had to drag him by his feet after he dropped to the floor all dramatic and screaming in the doorway of Big Asda once, he’s a big lad and he was flailing like a bloody acrobat, safest thing to do was drag him to the side. Got a lot of sympathetic looks 😂

Oh and being silly would sometimes snap DS out of it, when you can tell somethings brewing then I would just do a silly dance or silly faces, something which he wasn’t expecting and would make him smile and be distracted.

I’ve been to the garden centre with DD for a coffee (and massive vanilla slice) and a wander. Was nice.

Hopefully if we move it will be around 60 miles back to my home town, housing is cheaper and it’s closer to my mum who’s now in her 70’s and I want to be able to care for her if the time comes. Logistics would be a nightmare though, would have to coordinate me starting a new job, finding DS a school, DD a nursery/childminder and a house all at the same time. Stressful!!!

Thanks all, makes me feel better just to know it's not just my child who does this! Will have a look and a go at some of your suggestions, think I just need more patience...

@MonkeyPuddle vanilla slices are the food of gods. Good choice! Sounds exciting about potentially moving, I'm sure all the bits would fall into place, as stressful as they are to sort out.

Evening all, just been catching up on all the posts while getting DS off to sleep.

@pinklashes98 hope it's been going well with the colic, and that you've gotten a bit of rest. I was "snappy" for ages when DS was a tiny baby, and I agree that we're all that sometimes (this morning for me!) so you're doing great

@Motherofmonsters so glad to hear DD slept well last night! Praying it continues tonight. Hope you had a good time today.

@drumst1ck you've already gotten great advice and I have very limited experience so far with this. But one thing I'm going to try when DS is old enough is role-playing (when he's happy and calm) what he and we can do when he's feeling overwhelmed and at the beginnings of a tantrum. Obviously found it on Instagram there was one where you practice taking deep breaths together, and one where you imagine people going into a lift and then you push your nose as if they're pushing a button to go down, then you breathe out as the lift goes down. Or something like that. That one's supposed to be good for when they're making lots of noise because then you can just push your nose and remind them of it. And they slowly learn how to self-regulate. No idea if it works but worth a try! Let us know how you get on. And of course remember that if you need to remove yourself and take a minute to breathe, that's totally okay!

@MonkeyPuddle sounds like a lovely day. There are a lot of logistics to coordinate when moving, true! Though maybe having your family there will help a little, they can babysit and give support maybe?

@drumst1ck how old is dd? What's her communication like? My hv said I need to give her the vocabulary to help her explain her feelings? So you could say, oh I can see you are feeling angry, would you like a hug. I feel angry sometimes.
Easier said than done in the heat of the moment.

Also they said to remember they are emotionally so young. I've asked for help from my HV and she's given me a pack to read about. I meant to do it on the way to north Wales but I just sat and ate crap the whole way.

I giving you advice after screaming at my dd today then when I pushed her away from the baby she fell off the sofa. Gold star for me today NOT. I over reacted as I was angry with H but took it out on her. Nice start to the holiday.

I then lost it at him as when he does something it's just him doing it leisurely (toilet, shower, breakfast) when I do those things I have both kids in tow and the baby never stops crying. He said the baby cries as she's never put down and we coSleep which is absolute bollocks. She cries wether she's held or not. I sit holding her in the evening as it's the only time she's happily asleep and with the toddler she doesn't get any uninterrupted 1 to 1 time.

And lastly, he had (tried to have) a lie in on the day we are going on holiday whilst I'm up getting the breakfast for the kids and packing to go away and all the stuff that needs doing like cleaning the fridge. What a dick.

DS has been in nursery all day today. Yesterday he had an accident there, fell over I think, so he's got 2 huge scratches on his face. One almost on his eye. He looks like Scar from the Lion King made the mistake of sending a picture to my mum (he was obviously fine and running around) and she promptly went into meltdown and suggested I give him Calpol...?

Had my first day of the carrying course today and it was fascinating. Looking forward to the next few days! Not however looking forward to next weekend as DH has officially been called in for military service for a whole week. That'll be the longest I've had to solo parent, and I obviously don't want to spend all my time at my in-laws...lots of playing outside, I think!

@footprintsintheslow, it's totally not easy getting yourself ready and 2 kids ready for anything let alone packing up for a holiday. I always feel like I'm sweating and looking ridiculous whilst holding dS2 and trying to stop DS1 running off even just going to the playground. For instance I went into a bakery yesterday with both in tow and the assistant said, 'oh you look frazzled'. I was like, ' yes, I am, I am trying to control these two whilst there's torrential rain out there hammering down'. You've done great getting everything sorted for your holiday.

Try not to fret, there is a deep instinct to protect our babies and that includes trying to protect one from the other.

As for men thinking they are entitled to a lie in? Ha, where do they get these ridiculous ideas from? Hope you can both relax and enjoy your holiday and time together.

@squishymamma sorry to hear about DS's cut. Hope it heals up soon. Your course sounds great, it will be very rewarding.

Hope everyone has a good night.

@MonkeyPuddle where abouts would you be moving? Some of us may be close so might be able to help with some recommendations?
That’s lovely you’ll be near your mum and cheaper housing is fab! When will you have made a definite decision?

Hope everyone’s had a good day.

I also deal with tantrums with tight cuddles / restraint and a distraction. Usually something silly which makes my boys laugh.

@squishymamma I hope the weather is nice for you so you can get out! I bet you’ll do being super solo mummy, make sure DH gives you a lay in when he’s back!