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Original poster

I'm so upset with new neighbours

221 replies

hedgedrama · 19/04/2021 15:11

I started a thread a good few weeks ago here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4195576-I-need-some-Mumsnet-sense-knocking-into-me

And to update on the hedge, they basically tore it down. Despite the agreement that some would be left. They have offered to buy me some new hedging for my side. I was sort of OK with it all, I didn't end up having much choice, just as people warned me on the first thread but I tried to just let it go and not create a war. The (probable) nesting birds was incredibly upsetting, but it was just too late - they sort of did it anyway.

But today has really been a new level of awfulness. They brought in some diggers to landscape the garden to install their astroturf, and I noticed something moving. It was a frog. As I paid more attention I could see literally tens of frogs so I went out and bearing in mind our gardens literally are joined at the moment as there is no fence or hedge, I went onto their garden could see there were a LOT of frogs being caught up with the digger.

The driver of the digger stopped when he saw me come over into their garden, and when I said there are frogs here, he was like "Yeah I've seen loads"

There was a natural pond there for years. It is breeding season, and as I went over I can see frogs everywhere trying to escape for their lives.

The owner of the house came out and we started to catch some and move them into my garden, but there were honestly everywhere. I said "you can't just do this. It is against the law. You are intentionally killing frogs etc.".

They have stopped the works and they have been out and caught about 60 frogs (no exaggeration) in a bucket and I have taken them to a local pond (within a mile as the wildlife conservation trusts recommend).

But I now have a message from them that they are starting work with the digger tomorrow again and will be on "frog watch".

I am so upset they would have just killed the 60 odd frogs that I put in the local pond, about how many have died already, but then also that they are going to start work tomorrow without being sure they have captured all the frogs.

AIBU? I feel so disgusted. I have called the council Environmental Health and am waiting for a call back, but I don't know what else to do??

OP posts:
FancySomeChips · 19/04/2021 19:41

Evil selfish bastards, I hope you are ok OP. They sound horrendous. You did completely the right thing for the frogs, I would have done exactly the same. X

zafferana · 19/04/2021 19:42

So you would prefer me to what? Struggle to cut my lawn? Tarmac it instead? Send it off to landfill?

Personally, I'd rip it out and put something in something natural that doesn't require mowing. Landfill is a horrible option too, I agree, but better it's not covering up the soil degrading, breaking down into a million little pieces of plastic that then pollute the area more widely.

LST · 19/04/2021 19:45

@zafferana

So you would prefer me to what? Struggle to cut my lawn? Tarmac it instead? Send it off to landfill?

Personally, I'd rip it out and put something in something natural that doesn't require mowing. Landfill is a horrible option too, I agree, but better it's not covering up the soil degrading, breaking down into a million little pieces of plastic that then pollute the area more widely.

Anything else would require soil, which means mud, which means the dog gets muddy and the dc get muddy which means having to wipe them and mop more. And as I have already stated, I am disabled. I would not rip it up. I honestly couldn't care what anyone thinks. I care for the environment in a lot more ways.
WombatChocolate · 19/04/2021 19:45

I think you've protected the frogs today and made them aware of the problem.

They have said they will continue to look out for frogs. They haven't said they are not interested in them.

Now you need to back off. They stopped work today and they transported frogs to a pond. They have said they will keep looking out. You now have to leave them to be responsible for the issue you have brought to their attention and they have acknowledged. It is up to them what timescale they work to and how they now deal with the frogs.

With other issues, I'd try to take less interest and let them get on with things. It's unlikely there will be lots of wildlife issues and some of this will come down to different preferences and you will have to let them make their own choices.

Original poster
hedgedrama · 19/04/2021 19:55

I do appreciate all the replies - even the ones that are challenging me.

I have sent a message to them to say thanks for stopping the work today and that is was just quite upsetting to see it happening because I could literally see it all from my desk.

(I am working from my kitchen table, facing their garden with bi-fold doors- i.e. lots of visibility)

I know I can't do anymore and will butt out now. Hopefully the fence will be up imminently and I won't be have to concern myself with it all.

OP posts:
zafferana · 19/04/2021 19:59

It's my understanding @LST that it doesn't last forever (around 10 years according to my plastic-lawn owning neighbour), so at some point you'll have to make a decision about it.

CrazyWantsALife · 19/04/2021 20:00

OP you don't deserve the slating your getting from some heartless people on here, well done for caring, if everybody was more like you the country would be a much nicer place.
My neighbour shoots and maims animals in his small back garden and this year I will be gathering evidence to report him and do my best to stop him.
If anybody wants to call me a busy body for that then they can go right ahead as I do not give a stuff, luckily some of us are able care about living things other than ourselves, and it's a nice way to be. yanbu.

LST · 19/04/2021 20:01

@zafferana

It's my understanding *@LST* that it doesn't last forever (around 10 years according to my plastic-lawn owning neighbour), so at some point you'll have to make a decision about it.
As I have already said. This has been down for 8 and still looks new. It will be down for a fair few years yet. I dont have a team of people playing football on it or anything. Some have a 10 year guarantee. That doesn't mean it will only last 10 years
DiddlyWiddly · 19/04/2021 20:09

But that would be far more damaging to the environment! It is plastic (as it has just been kindly pointed out to me) after all, so it will just last for hundreds of years on a landfill site
Landfill is awful, I don’t deny that at all and yes it will last for hundreds, if not thousands of years.
There is no ‘good’ solution that won’t cause harm.
I wouldn’t like the thought of all the birds, insects etc around me getting no benefit, one of the biggest joys of gardening for me is seeing the diversity of insects and other wildlife.

As it is, I have found my plastic coated lawn invaluable. The kids can play out, as can my hairy dog, without getting covered in mud (I used to struggle to wipe him). It is around 8 years old and still looks new, so it will last me a long time yet
I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it.
There are studies showing the phlates I think it is, spelt wrong I think, damage the health of the worms underneath, I forget the inns and outs of the study but it was horrible.
My ‘lawn’ holds up fine with young kids running over it nearly everyday and dogs but then my dogs aren’t really out in the garden much so it’s just the kids really.

I do have plenty of pots and raised beds in my garden to attract the bees and other insects
😊

NUFAN · 19/04/2021 20:09

@LST I despise AstroTurf, really hate it, but if it helps you in your situation then you dont have to explain to anyone. You’ve kindly explained your situation, please don’t feel like you keep having to repeat yourself for people on here. Xx

Whatisshe · 19/04/2021 20:18

I absolutely hate astroturf. OP I’m completely with you. It sounds horrific what they’ve done to the garden and completely heartless to have no regard whatsoever for the wildlife nesting in the hedge. I would plant another hedge and some fast growing climbers on your side to hide their new fencing.

SpringTides5 · 19/04/2021 20:29

To be honest OP I would move your desk elsewhere in the house. Starting out at your neighbour's garden all day every day isn't going to do any good for either party.

You need to totally forget about your neighbours and what they are or aren't doing.

Geraldinethegiraffe · 19/04/2021 20:46

If they are developers maybe they tore down the hedge assuming you would then replant on your side, thereby increasing the value imof the property by getting a bigger garden AND a hedge

Hexinthecity · 19/04/2021 20:46

Fuck that op they sounds horrendous. If they’re property developers hit them where it hurts. Tell them to sort out a new hedge pronto or you’ll raise an official complaint with the council which they’ll have to declare as a dispute to any potential buyers next year and will devalue their resale potential.

Tell them you want a mature hedge ie not a line of pissing 4 inch tall seedling, you want established hedge plants and you want it in within a fortnight.

Tell them you’re horrified by their lack of regard for the local wildlife but regardless of that they have compromised the security and privacy of your property AND left your dog vulnerable to escape as your previously enclosed garden is now not enclosed. Send them a link to whatever hedge you want (preferably whichever one will be best for the local wildlife)

This has gone beyond amicable, they’re twats and couldn’t give a rats arse about you or neighbourly relations so fuck it, wage war if you want to! They’ve already acted appallingly so you have no guilt to bear here.

JammyDozen · 19/04/2021 20:52

Good on you for moving the frogs you could. Hopefully others got away too. Unfortunately, I don’t agree that it’s unlikely none were killed; my dp mowed some frogs when gardening in a previous house we lived in that attracted them, so they clearly don’t always get out of the way.

Regardless of whether they’re legally entitled to kill them, it’s abhorrent and you did the right thing.

There does seem to be a personality type that values convenience and looks over nature (I am NOT talking about people with disabilities), and it’s thoroughly depressing. I lived next door to someone who badgered all neighbours into cutting down trees and bushes, even if they weren’t overhanging his garden or blocking light, but at least he had plants and lawn.

Also don’t get people who think this is a lot of fuss about frogs. Thank goodness for the more sensitive souls out there.

WrongWayApricot · 19/04/2021 20:57

I don't get why you're not all trying to shut down abattoirs everyday. I feel sorry for the frogs but what do you think your house was built on in the first place, what do you think a lot of houses are built on now. Is it only distressing if you see it happening? Or because they are frogs/cute birds? Are all the people that are outraged also outraged in the meat aisle of the supermarket? Are they all up in arms about palm oil?

OfftoSainsbos · 19/04/2021 20:59

Well done for saving the frogs, but I really don't understand people's outrage at things like this if they are still contributing to animal cruelty in factory farms.
This link gives some interesting figures on how many animals are involved, and they are living in awful conditions before dying a horrible death. It just seems like double standards to me.
animalclock.org/uk/

OfftoSainsbos · 19/04/2021 21:00

Ha great minds think alike WrongWayApricot!

Eloisedublin123 · 19/04/2021 21:09

Sorry OP sounds horrid xx

Jedsmama · 19/04/2021 21:12

And this is why there will be no future for our children and nothing left on planet earth. They have the IQ of a crayon.

Mojoj · 19/04/2021 21:17

@imalmostthere just as well we're not all as thoughtless as you, isn't it? The OP's neighbours are idiots with no thought of the wildlife they're destroying to have a perfectly manicured garden. Here's hoping they're told they can't do it. Mon the frogs!!

Cherrysoup · 19/04/2021 21:18

My frogs did the deed and left weeks ago-I’m in the south east. Where are you, OP?

GizmoBasil · 19/04/2021 21:19

You sound lovely OP. I hope your horrible neighbours think twice at their next investment Flowers

CervixHaver · 19/04/2021 21:26

@CliftonGreenYork

Its not your garden and you have no right entering it and have gone to far in calling the environmental health. I love frogs but they are wild creatures in the same way worms and cockroaches are - would you be so concerned if they were killing non cute animals?
It is ILLEGAL to kill frogs
ConnieCaterpillar70 · 19/04/2021 21:28

It takes a special sort of dickhead to cover a garden in plastic when slabs and gravel have done the job for centuries.

I despair, honestly, OP. No wonder you feel you're banging your head against a wall.