"Empath" means "self-obsessed woo-accredited fool" ...

[SuziQuatrosFatNan]

... doesn't it?

I do believe that some posters are conflating the clinically well documented symptoms of emotional dysregularity - learned hyper alertness, distorted sensitivity, and the external locus of control of complex PTSD and other MH issues with being something useful to others under a new label "empath".

You might be. By trying to tie the 2 things together you are not helping. If someone has a diagnosis as you've described, encouraging them to call themselves an Empath instead is not only not helpful, it is harmful.

@Sssloou is that not all just a lot of words to say that some people get overwhelmed and need support? Supporting them in their delusion, that of being somehow special, is surely not recommended.

@IbrahimaRedTwo

I do believe that some posters are conflating the clinically well documented symptoms of emotional dysregularity - learned hyper alertness, distorted sensitivity, and the external locus of control of complex PTSD and other MH issues with being something useful to others under a new label "empath".

You might be. By trying to tie the 2 things together you are not helping. If someone has a diagnosis as you've described, encouraging them to call themselves an Empath instead is not only not helpful, it is harmful.

I of course do not think it is helpful - sorry if that didnt come across in my post clearly

Empath...is a thing?
It is if you're someone who finds the idea of human beings having a range of normal human feelings and behaviours to be a bit too mainstream and want to feel like you're part of a special club.

[quote CuriousaboutSamphire]@Sssloou is that not all just a lot of words to say that some people get overwhelmed and need support? Supporting them in their delusion, that of being somehow special, is surely not recommended.[/quote]
Agreed. These are symptoms that need to addressed (REDUCED / MODERATED) internally with the person emotionally overwhelmed - not amplified and celebrated as anything if use to them or their friends and family in distress.

I’ve been called an empath. In reality I have complex ptsd and my major stress response is “fawn” response.
I can notice body language and subtleties that others don’t. I can manage people when they are upset. For me it was survival and it became a part of me.
It doesn’t make me an empath.

The up side is that I think I am a good friend. I just have to have strong boundaries to ensure I am being there for someone in healthy way not a co dependent way.

Chipsahoy you sound great and very self aware.

And that's why I was never interested in being therapist - a psychologist yes, but never a therapist.

Too many words, too much focus on the ethereal. Then again the health psychology I did do was very blunt, process driven

Best of luck forever managing those boundaries Chipsahoy

@SamusIsAGirl
@DeepThinkingGirl

Thank you for answering.

I think this thread is not really aimed at people like yourselves. Certainly the issue I have is with people who do display the behaviours I questioned and these people do exist. I've worked with some and have had relationships with some.

There is a type of person who, on hearing someone else's bad news, will go quiet or sometimes bad-tempered and will not hesitate to let you now how upset they are, how much they feel and how gently they must be treated because of it, often to the detriment of the person who's news it actually is. They are the type of person who declare themselves "Empaths" (to which I normally say "and I'm a Jedi" 🤷🏼‍♀️), that this is both a special gift and terrible burden that they must bear.

And that's the bollocks people haven't got time for.

@CharityDingle

Haven't read the full thread yet, but in a similar vein...how often do threads come up on MN where the OP says they cannot being up a particular subject with x because x is (self proclaimed) so sensitive. This, after they have described behaviour from x that a rhino would be ashamed of... Oftentimes those who label themselves 'sensitive' are only sensitive in relation to their own feelings. In relation to 'empaths', making someone's pain and sorrow about you, and how deeply YOU feel it, is not empathetic, in my opinion. The opposite in fact.

I agree. And to link to a PP who said that we all have empathy to a greater or lesser degree as it is all on a spectrum .... I believe that people can fall off the high end of that spectrum and inadvertently end up at the low end.

So when someone absorbs anothers distress and makes it their own to such an intense and overwhelming debilitating degree - the become emotionally dysfuntional either withdrawing from the person in distress or disproportionately over reacting - both actions are not just totally unempathic for the person in distress but actively harmful - and the person in distress may well perceive that "empath" behaviour as selfish or deluded - whereas maybe the empath believes they are being helpful.

Cattenberg is it by H.G. Tudor? He says that narcissists prey on empaths.

This a really helpful video about emotional regulation - if you ignore dodgy "empath" terminology - its a good pathway for embodied sensory emotional regulation.

Sounds like Empaths is another word for Narcissists, but with an added veneer of performative virtue and of appropriating other people s misfortunes and making it about themselves.....yes, I see I lot of that on SM.

HG Tudor? The self proclaimed narcissist sociopath who makes his money writing books about it?

The book I read was Confessions of a Sociopath by M E Thomas.

It's a bot like reading those True Crime magazines. All very lurid and couched in all the right words. But lacking any scientific rigour!

Popular but not in any way reliable!

People that assign themselves that title and yet still eat meat are idiots !

Crikey. I wasn't expecting that!

You may have just won t'internet for today

Sounds like Empaths is another word for Narcissists,

No it’s not.

Yeah, why does everyone say look at what HG Tudor has to say? He’s had the audacity to do a video about Meghan Sussex in regards to ‘narcissism’ .

Another psychologist who actually does know what she’s talking about said there’s no way you can tell if someone’s a narcissist from one interview.

Sorry for off topic comment - as you were.

@DeepThinkingGirl

Sounds like Empaths is another word for Narcissists,

No it’s not.

A real empath isn’t a narcissist.

I think what people mean is that narcissists often describe themselves as empaths.

People like my ex who I described earlier on the thread. He got angry with me if I was upset about something because his poor empathetic soul couldn’t take it. Apparently. He was the sort of person who loved to go and consult psychics. He would sit there and they would tell him he’s a ‘light worker’ 🤣🤣

I have every sympathy for people experiencing emotional overwhelm from others distress, I have been on the co-dependent journey myself and come to appreciate that hurt people can hurt people - which is mortifying - so it is incumbent upon us all to take responsibility for our own emotional regularity, growth and resilience so that we dont let our disproportionate reactions hurt ourselves or others.

Ok food for thought. I’d much rather have my emotional journey be challenged by words like this. I did have a feeling my emotional responses weren’t helping me socially but had no idea I was hurting others as it was nothing but the opposite of my motives. So thank you for bringing that to my attention, shall look out for it.

And thanks for the video.

@Chipsahoy

I’ve been called an empath. In reality I have complex ptsd and my major stress response is “fawn” response. I can notice body language and subtleties that others don’t. I can manage people when they are upset. For me it was survival and it became a part of me. It doesn’t make me an empath.

The up side is that I think I am a good friend. I just have to have strong boundaries to ensure I am being there for someone in healthy way not a co dependent way.

Aptly put and ditto.

DeepThinkingGirl, maybe it's time for you to stop associating yourself with the word "Empath"? It doesn't have to be part of your identity.