"Empath" means "self-obsessed woo-accredited fool" ...

[SuziQuatrosFatNan]

... doesn't it?

It's the 'genuine' that is the defining factor, I think!

@SamusIsAGirl

I still on occasion use Wikipedia as a starting point for research if it is something new in my wheelhouse - the thing you need to to is check and verify the resources - it is seldom the primary sources I use, more the secondary ones I access via links and cross-referencing.

(Still remembers manual referencing and paper hard copies.....)

But 'empath' or alexithymia are not diagnosed clinical conditions -- not in the DSM (5? or whatever we're up to now). Empathy certainly figures as a focus of study in the fields of psychiatry, philosophy of mind, neuroscience etc but mostly in terms of cognitive disorders which mean a person with them is lacking in empathy, or the extent to which empathy factors in theory of mind and in normal human development. No one is diagnosing people as 'empaths'.

So not actually empathetic people then. Fake empathetic people. Which is not the same

That's the point of the thread. We all feel empathy. We're talking about the gobdaws that call themselves Empaths and wank on about how they feel your pain more than you do and how hard it is for them.

Well exactly. Which presupposes that there are actual genuine empaths. Who do not act in the way fake empaths do (or fake anything, let's be honest). Something the people commenting on this thread, and lumping the genuine in with the fake, should be more careful about distinguishing between.

That's the point of the thread. We all feel empathy. We're talking about the gobdaws that call themselves Empaths and wank on about how they feel your pain more than you do and how hard it is for them.

No. You are talking about the FAKE people who do that. There will be genuine people, who absolutely do feel more empathy than most, who do not act that way. You can't lump everyone together.

Well exactly. Which presupposes that there are actual genuine empaths. Who do not act in the way fake empaths do (or fake anything, let's be honest)

No., it does not. It presupposes that there are people who feel genuine empathy. Thats called being a Human, not an Empath.

Someone above linked this : medium.com/swlh/living-as-an-empath-when-you-feel-everything-and-nobody-seems-to-understand-65fecce2aa03

Read that and see what we mean, and how utterly ridiculous and offensive it is.

There will be genuine people, who absolutely do feel more empathy than most, who do not act that way
Of course some people feel more empathy than others, just like some people are more outgoing than others, some are more sensitive than others, some are more extroverted than others.

What makes someone an 'empath' beyond someone wanting a label that highlights they consider themselves to feel more empathy than other people (when they can't possibly know how other people are feeling, unless they're arrogant enough to think they can pronounce on how other people feel)?

Who knows? Perhaps that label is a way of processing how they feel. Is it really any worse than people who proclaim themselves to be loud, or wacky, or tell it like it is, or shy, or sensitive, or whatever. It's just a label.

Labels mean something. And when you label yourself something, others can judge you on that label.

@WonkyWhiteLavender

Well exactly. Which presupposes that there are actual genuine empaths. Who do not act in the way fake empaths do (or fake anything, let's be honest). Something the people commenting on this thread, and lumping the genuine in with the fake, should be more careful about distinguishing between.

Yeah, it does doesn't it?

I should have looked back at my thread outing Deanna Troi and Peter Petrelli as fictional characters

People have varying levels of empathy.

Nobody is 'an empath' - that's New Speak Gobbledygook

Who knows? Perhaps that label is a way of processing how they feel.
But surely it has to mean something otherwise it's meaningless woo.

Shy is a descriptor that has a meaning.
"I'm an empath" doesn't and seems to mean whatever the speaker wants it to mean, and changes based on whether people have given unquestioning affirmation to the woo.

@WonkyWhiteLavender

Who knows? Perhaps that label is a way of processing how they feel. Is it really any worse than people who proclaim themselves to be loud, or wacky, or tell it like it is, or shy, or sensitive, or whatever. It's just a label.

The whole point of this thread title and 99% of people posting who have encountered such characters is that their experience of these self announcing types is that they are the direct opposite of the trait they claim - which is what jars - zero insight. Whereas someone who labels themselves shy, loud, extrovert - others would probably agree with their description of themselves.

Yes! Mainly because shy, loud and extrovert are social descriptors of behaviours, as seen, experienced and understood by all.

"I am an empath" requires some belief in unicorns and fairies!

TBH not sure if its empathy or alexithymia (SP) since most of the time I cannot put a feeling to emotions.

PS I'm a STEM major - perhaps look up PLoS for more formal definitions if you aren't sure. Wikipedia is also a good starting resource.

I’m with you on the Alexithymia. I can’t name feelings and struggle processing them and it’s something I’ve recently started working on. It has always caused me struggles socially.

I thought from my point of view that I’m excessively empathetic. Because I do struggle with internalising other peoples emotions and letting it overwhelm me to a crippling point. But clearly learning that It’s not empathy that I’m experiencing but something else.

I wouldn’t know and wouldn’t care. Other people matter to me a lot to the point that I’m willing to have my personality dissected by the bullies of this thread to develop some social awareness. I do suspect I’m on the spectrum.

But I honestly would rather have a misguided sense of compassion and an unconscious projected empathy than be so deliberately obtuse to the hurt I cause others by choosing to be so deregatory. Such as what’s demonstrated on this thread.

@DeepThinkingGirl you are still using that overly emotive language, using the thought of possible illness and hurt feelings to close down other people.

But I honestly would rather have a misguided sense of compassion and an unconscious projected empathy than be so deliberately obtuse to the hurt I cause others by choosing to be so deregatory. You have chosen to be derogatory to some posters. Extremely so in some cases!

If you can't see that, and you clearly cannot as you accuse every poster who points it out of being abully, then is that not simply another aspect of your misreading people, their feelings and emotions? But it cannot be alexithymia as that is entirely the opposite, a lack of empathy, difficulty distinguishing and appreciating the emotions of others and unempathic and ineffective emotional responses.

You just seem angry to me. Possibly at some shit that has happened to you, only you can know that!

CuriousaboutSamphire
Exactly that!

We're 16 pages in and still lacking a clear definition of what makes someone an empath, despite several posters insisting they are one but the rest of us couldn't understand and are awful for pointing out the term is meaningless woo used by people who want to point out they're somehow special.

If an empath isn't a special set of skills, and isn't boring old human empathy, what on earth is it?

CuriousaboutSamphire

While I’m on board with receiving criticism to grow as a person, but I do like to take it from a credible source.

So your opinion about me and my personality and the way I post and you reading into emotions what I haven’t claimed , isn’t something I’m looking to benefit from.

Honestly, it might be best if you go indulge in your own self awareness journey to deal with the narcissistic traits you admitted to having instead of obsessing about other peoples self awareness journey.

Surely your friend living far away from you who claimed to be an empath can’t deserve this much of your energy?

Empath...is a thing?

Empath...is a thing?

No. Not really.

Honestly, it might be best if you go indulge in your own self awareness journey to deal with the narcissistic traits you admitted to having instead of obsessing about other peoples self awareness journey. You do know that I was not admitting to being anything special, just trying to explain that character traits are just that, traits. We are all a mix of them!

All the rest is that circularity again. Good luck finding yourself, coming or going!

@IbrahimaRedTwo

Empath...is a thing?

No. Not really.

It’s a ‘thing’ like ‘Indigo Children’ are a thing.

And like "crystal healing" is a thing.

Just words that have no basis in reality that a particular kind of people like to use.

@AffronttoGender

Empath...is a thing?

Well, maybe if you are into unicorns, crystals and being special.

Seriously it is much the same as being able to talk to dead people. Some people swear they can, others swear they believe them! Some are harmless, some make a fortune exploiting the grief of others.

I do believe that some posters are conflating the clinically well documented symptoms of emotional dysregularity - learned hyper alertness, distorted sensitivity, and the external locus of control of complex PTSD and other MH issues with being something useful to others under a new label "empath".

These same maladaptive coping strategies are inadvertently unhelpful to the original person actually experiencing the distressing event as well as to the 'empath'/person with complex PTSD/MH issues.

I have every sympathy for people experiencing emotional overwhelm from others distress, I have been on the co-dependent journey myself and come to appreciate that hurt people can hurt people - which is mortifying - so it is incumbent upon us all to take responsibility for our own emotional regularity, growth and resilience so that we dont let our disproportionate reactions hurt ourselves or others.

Haven't read the full thread yet, but in a similar vein...how often do threads come up on MN where the OP says they cannot being up a particular subject with x because x is (self proclaimed) so sensitive. This, after they have described behaviour from x that a rhino would be ashamed of...
Oftentimes those who label themselves 'sensitive' are only sensitive in relation to their own feelings.
In relation to 'empaths', making someone's pain and sorrow about you, and how deeply YOU feel it, is not empathetic, in my opinion. The opposite in fact.