If you kept your surname upon marriage, what is your title?

[LudoBear]

Just that really!

Are you still Miss Maiden, Mrs Maiden, Ms Maiden or something else??

Ms. I used Ms even before I was married as I just felt too old to be a Miss.

Dd is Ms HerSurname which happens to be the same as MySurname, but became hers the moment it was bestowed upon her.

I’ve used Ms since I got married way back in 1982. Never had any problems keeping my maiden name.

Ms My Name I’ve always had.

Always been Ms My Name and always will (from birth, throughout marriage, into divorce and potentially re-marriage).

It’s anathema to me why anyone would keep changing their identities or title, dependent on who they’re shacked up with. Bizarre.

@TomHardyAndMe he will be Mr HisName MyName, i.e. we are both changing to the same thing. This was very important to both of us; we wanted to have the same name but didn't see why one of us should have to change to the other person's to match them.

We considered choosing an entirely new surname but couldn't agree on one we liked so we're double barrelling instead.

@Shirazzam he will be Mr HisName MyName, i.e. we are both changing to the same thing. This was very important to both of us; we wanted to have the same name but didn't see why one of us should have to change to the other person's to match them.

This makes complete sense to me. We weren't bothered about having the same name, but people generally refer to us as a family using the double-barrelled version (which is the kids' official surname).

What I cannot get my head around is the idea of discussing it and openly agreeing that one of you is acknowledged as lesser than the other.

@MumofSpud

Mrs Maiden here!

But I didn't change my name to my DH's as I didn't like it (shallow I know!)

I don't get the point that OPs have made saying that they won't use their DH's surname as they aren't his property - but surely your maiden name is your Father's and even if you used your mother's then that would still be her father's?

The moment I was named on my birth certificate, that name was equally mine. I've had this name for over 50 years, it's most definitely mine.

Miss maiden name.

I am interchange on a daily basis in saying only though to Mrs Married name.

Makes me feel like a spy to have two names. I have no life and need to get my kicks somewhere.

I'm Mrs married name at kids school etc though. And Mrs ex husband surname at Ds college. I dont know why really. I have my kids their dads surname as mine is actually quite horrible. Didn't want them afflicted.

(officially miss maiden on passport etc).

It was something I felt very strongly about when I was younger. When I first got married at 21, I was keeping my name.

I'm 41 now and I don't give a shit what anyone calls me.

I accidentally changed my name to Mrs married name on my driving licence. Not on my passport. On one bank account I'm Mrs x on the other I'm Mrs Y. Kids birth certs I'm my maiden name.

Causes all sorts of fucking hilarity with proving my identity. But I have made sure I've got a cope of my marriage cert to prove who I am. Ball ache though.

I wanted to change the Mrs married name on the one bank account back to miss maiden and had a full on argument, they wouldn't do it.

I use all three pretty much randomly.

I still use Mrs. and my late Husbands surname, despite being divorced for 34 years,and that late Husband remarried a few years after our divorce.

[quote Shirazzam]@TomHardyAndMe he will be Mr HisName MyName, i.e. we are both changing to the same thing. This was very important to both of us; we wanted to have the same name but didn't see why one of us should have to change to the other person's to match them.

We considered choosing an entirely new surname but couldn't agree on one we liked so we're double barrelling instead.[/quote]
Worth also mentioning that when we were both considering changing our name to something different his family reacted quite negatively, particularly the male family members who seemed to think it was a rejection of the family / his responsibility to carry on the family name. It really surprised me and I think DP was a bit hurt.

Dr Maiden name.

@Soothes

I don't know anyone IRL who uses Ms and yet it seems completely usual to everyone on MN.

I don't get this. I have no idea what any of my friends and family uses because I don't address things formally to them.

I'm Ms. Maiden and have been since 16.

Except on here ironically.

[quote Shirazzam]@TomHardyAndMe he will be Mr HisName MyName, i.e. we are both changing to the same thing. This was very important to both of us; we wanted to have the same name but didn't see why one of us should have to change to the other person's to match them.

We considered choosing an entirely new surname but couldn't agree on one we liked so we're double barrelling instead.[/quote]
I always think that this is a really neat solution, but then can't help wondering what will happen when the next generation are faced with the same decision - quadruple barrelled surnames aren't really feasible...

@DontJumpInTheFountain
I always think that this is a really neat solution, but then can't help wondering what will happen when the next generation are faced with the same decision - quadruple barrelled surnames aren't really feasible...

I trust my kids to have the intelligence and nous to work out a solution they are happy with, along with their partners, if applicable.

Spanish people seem to manage OK.

What I was never going to do was start off their lives by telling them that one of their parents, the male one, was intrinsically more important than the other, female one.

Ms double barrelled for work and either that or Mrs DH's name in personal life

Used to be Miss, now Ms MaidenName. If I hadn't already had DC with whom I share this name, I may have gone for Mrs DHName for some involved reasons I have, mainly romantic. But feminist me may well have won that one anyway.
Both Ex and DH occasionally called Mr MaidenName, which I like.

Miss Maiden

Ms MySurname before and after marriage.

DC's have DH's surname, so school used to call me Mrs TheirSurname. That stopped when I politely asked them either to call me Ms MySurname or just MyFirstName.

I was shocked recently to find out that some of DCs' school friends thought that DH and I had had an amicable divorce, as that could be the only possible reason for us turning up to parents evenings/concerts/matches together while not sharing a name.

In work I'm Ms Firstname MaidenSurname. No change there.
At home and for the school/GP etc. I'm Mrs Firstname MarriedSurname.
Makes it much easier to keep track.

[quote SnowAllSpring]@DontJumpInTheFountain
I always think that this is a really neat solution, but then can't help wondering what will happen when the next generation are faced with the same decision - quadruple barrelled surnames aren't really feasible...

I trust my kids to have the intelligence and nous to work out a solution they are happy with, along with their partners, if applicable.

Spanish people seem to manage OK.

What I was never going to do was start off their lives by telling them that one of their parents, the male one, was intrinsically more important than the other, female one.[/quote]
Apologies - I was being facetious and didn't mean to offend. I agree with your reasoning. It's genuinely something I have wondered about though. And I admit to ignorance about this being a Spanish custom - out of curiosity what generally happens one generation down the line?

My friends double-barrelled years ago, and virtually everyone assumed that the husband's name would be the first 'because that's how it's done'; it just reinforced their reasons for choosing to so.

'choosing to do so'