If you kept your surname upon marriage, what is your title?

[LudoBear]

Just that really!

Are you still Miss Maiden, Mrs Maiden, Ms Maiden or something else??

@zigaziga - what kind of judgment? It’s just a title denoting you are female. I make a pint of correcting my students if they get it wrong. Anyone who had issues with it would get short shrift from me. I find it very depressing that such attitudes still exist.

Ms if I have to have a title. Miss otherwise. Never, ever Mrs. Sometimes I just tell whoever is asking to pick one.

I don’t see the point of them in 2021. If we must have something denoting male/female then it should be Mr/Ms.

@m0therofdragons

Every person I know who kept her Maiden name is Mrs Maiden name. Only met 2 who use ms and that was post divorce with married name. I wish I’d kept my Maiden name but I’d have used Mrs (I dislike ms and think it’s causes more judgement than Mrs).

Mrs Myname is my mother. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ms

If there's no Ms, I pick Miss.

@SeaSalt1979, I use Dr with the name I graduated under. This is fairly standard practice, whatever that name is. I don’t know any medical or PhD doctors who do otherwise.

I'm a Ms and have been since I was about 16.

I had an ex boyfriend who thought it was weird that I was Ms because he was convinced it was a title for divorced women. I get called Miss or Mrs a lot, with the occasional Mr! I'm Miss on my mortgage and keep meaning to get it changed but never get round to it.

same but I wonder whether doctors are also more likely to keep their surname upon marriage than other people. none of my friends who are a Dr changed their surname upon marriage but most of my friends who arent did change their surname

Obviously I’m Lady Isabella.

But if I were a commoner, it would be Ms Birthname. Miss Birthname implies I’m unmarried which is factually incorrect. Mrs Birthname implies I’m married to Mr Birthname, which I’m not.

Dr or Ms.

Ms MaidenName

I've been Ms BirthSurname since my teens, since my first bank account! Occasionally I am Mrs DHSurname if I wanted to indicate that I'm married and who I'm married to.

In my culture it's the norm to keep one's own full name and only ever refer to the husband's surname if required, separately.

Mrs. Maiden name. This gets DH called Mr. My last name when in fact he's Dr. His last name.

Ms Radlett. Same as I've been since I was 16.

As it happens, my husband didn't change either his name or his title when he got married, either.

@LadyIsabellaWrotham

Obviously I’m Lady Isabella.

But if I were a commoner, it would be Ms Birthname. Miss Birthname implies I’m unmarried which is factually incorrect. Mrs Birthname implies I’m married to Mr Birthname, which I’m not.

Why does it matter what your marital status is though? Why does society expect women to announce as part of their name but not men?

There’s an irony to women keeping their names/identity on marriage (#SmashThePatriarchy) and then using a title that complies with it, no?!

I'm Ms Myname, just as I've been since I was 13. I know someone who chose to change just her honorative to be Mrs Hername which caused lots of confusion at the bank

@AppletonP

Mrs. Maiden name. This gets DH called Mr. My last name when in fact he's Dr. His last name.

I booked our honeymoon.

He was called “Mr Myname” for a full 2 weeks and is the first to argue that women should not change their names on marriage.

I just still use Miss, couldn't be bothered to do any paperwork and don't really care about my title. I find in professional environments in my work area that women are fairly universally referred to as Ms anyway.

2-3 years ago my (female) boss, invited me to my annual appraisal by letter addressed to Mrs Myname (she’s very formal). She refers to herself in meeting notes as Mrs Hername rather than initials etc.

Anyway, I mentioned at the beginning of the meeting that I didn’t use Mrs, that I’d prefer just to be called by my name but if a title was really needed than Ms was fine and it started the most bizarre conversation of my life (and I’ve had a few). She genuinely couldn’t understand it, kept checking that I was married because “how can you have different names?” and “isn’t your daughter confused?”.

I think I blew her tiny mind. Married, no name change, doesn’t use Mrs or wear a wedding ring. Apparently I come across as being “not proud” of my marriage. I’d have asked what relevance my marital status was on my abilities at work but she’d moved onto needing to be careful that my (naturally) massive boobs didn’t make people think I was thick.

Mrs Maiden here!

But I didn't change my name to my DH's as I didn't like it (shallow I know!)

I don't get the point that OPs have made saying that they won't use their DH's surname as they aren't his property - but surely your maiden name is your Father's and even if you used your mother's then that would still be her father's?

@MumofSpud

Mrs Maiden here!

But I didn't change my name to my DH's as I didn't like it (shallow I know!)

I don't get the point that OPs have made saying that they won't use their DH's surname as they aren't his property - but surely your maiden name is your Father's and even if you used your mother's then that would still be her father's?

Only if you believe women never own their names and just borrow them from men (as was the case when women were actually considered property).

Wherever my surname originated, it was given to me at birth. It’s mine. Will always be mine. It’s not on loan.

but surely your maiden name is your Father's and even if you used your mother's then that would still be her father's?

Nope.

It's mine. From when I was born.

What is with this bizarre mentality that men own names, but women are only using a man's? Why is a man's name his - why is my husband's name his name, but mine is apparently my father's?

My name is mine. My mother's name is also hers, even though she changed to my father's when they got married. She chose to take that name. It's hers now.

Even if we accepted the bizarre logic of 'only men really own names', if we want that to end there has to come a time when we break the cycle.

Ms MyName. Same as before marriage.

I'm Mrs maiden name.
Have been married twice, always kept my name!

@MumofSpud
I was going to reply to you but @JassyRadlett already said it perfectly. I agree with every word.

It's MY name.