Page 18 | Just heard Nikki Grahame has died

FoldenHoard · 11/04/2021 10:45

If you are on the verge of death, and are mentally sectioned, I personally think that the person should be physically restrained and force fed for a week.

What would force feeding them achieve though, it isn’t going to magically cure them of their disorder?

I’ve had an eating disorder for over 25 years now, I don’t believe I’ll ever “be cured” 🤷🏻‍♀️ Any stress I am under means I don’t eat, at all (I just drink milk 🙁). I’m currently 8st at 5ft 5, so not doing too bad at the moment, but I can easily drop a stone if I don’t make myself eat something.
My 16 year old has now noticed it and is badgering me to eat more, and I feel absolutely awful she’s realised after managing to hide it from her for so long.

Ugh... God love Nikki and all who love her and miss her.

to all those who are living with it themselves.

SteveArnottsbeadyeyes · 11/04/2021 10:45

@Sarahtrue11 there are plenty of alcoholics on the verge of death who still drink. Same as their are plenty of anorexics who aren’t in the imminent danger that poor Nikki was at.

Force feeding for a week would just delay the same issue (and obviously has in case).

It’s incredibly sad.

thecatsthecats · 11/04/2021 10:49

it's very odd to be so mawkishly and persistent in justifying your idea of what treatment would work in the face of repeated explanation of why it wouldn't.

I idly wonder if some form of cannabinoid therapy would help sooth the anxiety associated with eating, but I have bugger all more than a random idea that may have no merit.

It's a desperately sad mental affliction that appears to be woefully undertreated in this country. Poor Nikki.

Does anyone know of any programmes that appear successful in early catching and treatment of anorexia? I'm quite interested because I'm careful around addictive eating behaviours, having successfully lost six stone.

nolongersurprised · 11/04/2021 10:51

Even feeding them for a week would save their life.

With any gains lost within the following week. How are you going to stop them from running away when it’s time for their readmission to hospital?

I agree it’s every similar to end stage alcoholism/severe opiate abuse. Every day of continued misuse can be life-threatening, yet no one locks the heavy heroin user in hospital
to prevent them from taking another hit. People realise that nothing will work until the unwell person wants to change.

Anorexia that persists into adulthood and started before 11 years is harder to recover from. It’s sad and incomprehensible to most of us though

Sirzy · 11/04/2021 10:51

Force feeding for a week will do nothing except extend life for a few weeks.

Force feeding isn’t a treatment

SteveArnottsbeadyeyes · 11/04/2021 10:52

By the way - for anyone suffering with an ED - DO NOT read her book.

fairburn · 11/04/2021 10:57

@Kanaloa

How tragic, and she was so so young as well. Shame that the producers of all these reality shows are more interested in exploiting people than helping them. She seemed like such a sweet person, I always thought she came across quite child like.

She battled with anorexia way before big brother so I don't think you can blame them

nolongersurprised · 11/04/2021 10:58

My 16 year old has now noticed it and is badgering me to eat more, and I feel absolutely awful she’s realised after managing to hide it from her for so long

Without being alarmist there is now thought to be a genetic component to anorexia, with increased susceptibility if someone has a first degree relative with it. Definitely worth working though with your psychologist.

I’ll see if I can did the link - might not work as it’s a site I log into.

nolongersurprised · 11/04/2021 10:59

emedicine.medscape.com/article/912187-overview

R3dFish · 11/04/2021 11:02

Meanwhile anorexic patients are being discharged from CAMHs at 18 deemed not ill enough to continue to have support under adult services.

Iveforgotten · 11/04/2021 11:06

Having read her book it’s a miracle she got this far. She actually credits her first stint on BB with massively improving her life so I don’t think they are responsible.
I loved her in big brother and this has really upset me. It’s devastating that lockdown has had this consequence.

HidingInTheFridge · 11/04/2021 11:24

Rip Nikki ❤️

Who IS she?!! Who IS she?! WHERE DID YOU FIND HER??

FoldenHoard · 11/04/2021 11:52

Thanks for the link nolongersurprised, it’s always been my biggest fear, passing any issues around food on to her. Diets and any mentions of not eating were never spoken of around her. Lying was just easier pre lockdown (up before everyone else, “I’ve had my breakfast”, “I ate a big lunch” “I was picking at the food whilst preparing dinner, so I’m not very hungry”....)
From gently questioning at first why I wasn’t eating, she is now asking in front of her dad “what have you eaten today?!”
I feel awful even writing that, I clearly am giving her issues 😫

FitYeDaeinYeMadRadge · 11/04/2021 11:57

Pete’s tribute to her has just reduced me to tears. She was obviously so loved. I hope she took much comfort in that in her final days.

Reading the stories on here, so many of you...

AntiSocialDistancer · 11/04/2021 12:30

@FoldenHoard

Thanks for the link nolongersurprised, it’s always been my biggest fear, passing any issues around food on to her. Diets and any mentions of not eating were never spoken of around her. Lying was just easier pre lockdown (up before everyone else, “I’ve had my breakfast”, “I ate a big lunch” “I was picking at the food whilst preparing dinner, so I’m not very hungry”....) From gently questioning at first why I wasn’t eating, she is now asking in front of her dad “what have you eaten today?!” I feel awful even writing that, I clearly am giving her issues 😫

Now is the time to give yourself the love, and support you would so desperately give your daughter. Wouldn't you do anything for her, go to the ends of the earth to keep her safe and healthy and mentally well?

I was raised religious, so the phrase "Love others as you love yourself" is something I repeat to myself as I try and battle my own demons. I don't mention it to you in a "God" context, more that you need to live the words you speak to your daughter.

You are someone's daughter too. I hope that you find the time this year to work on this and show her, not tell her that her Mum is healthy and well

LemonSherbetFancies · 11/04/2021 12:34

So tragic. Can't stop thinking about her and her poor family.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 11/04/2021 12:44

Petes message so sad. So many of her friends obviously really wanted to save her. Heartbreaking. Too bloody young. RIP Nikki

GreyhoundLurcher · 11/04/2021 13:16

Such sad news. I don't believe reality TV had much of a role to play in Nikki's health. I think she had a life long battle with this horrific disease. My thoughts are with her friends and family. RIP X

Sarahtrue11 · 11/04/2021 13:25

@thecatsthecats

it's very odd to be so mawkishly and persistent in justifying your idea of what treatment would work in the face of repeated explanation of why it wouldn't.

I idly wonder if some form of cannabinoid therapy would help sooth the anxiety associated with eating, but I have bugger all more than a random idea that may have no merit.

It's a desperately sad mental affliction that appears to be woefully undertreated in this country. Poor Nikki.

Does anyone know of any programmes that appear successful in early catching and treatment of anorexia? I'm quite interested because I'm careful around addictive eating behaviours, having successfully lost six stone.

it is very strange to call some one mawkish and persistent, when they are thinking about saving some-one's life, and are just putting out ideas here for debate.

This is a discussion forum, for you know, "discussion" about things.

Sarahtrue11 · 11/04/2021 13:28

[quote SteveArnottsbeadyeyes]@Sarahtrue11 there are plenty of alcoholics on the verge of death who still drink. Same as their are plenty of anorexics who aren’t in the imminent danger that poor Nikki was at.

Force feeding for a week would just delay the same issue (and obviously has in case).

It’s incredibly sad.[/quote]
Yeah I know that it is very hard to treat Anorexia. They did try to help her in many eating disorder units.

Poor girl.

What you said about Alcoholics, I was just thinking it is the same for some smokers too.

I have an elderly aunty that chain smokes. She had very serious heart sugery a few years ago. She smoked right afterwards.

This year, she now has breast cancer. She has been getting chemo. She chain smokes all the time. Everyone has advised her to stop, but have given up, because it is absolutely impossible to get her to quit.

SheldonesqueHasTheWeevils · 11/04/2021 13:35

Pete’s message was beautiful.

Some can walk through this world feeling damaged or fragile or in a dark place. But if they can leave it being loved, then they will always be brighter than sunflowers 🌻

GreyhoundLurcher · 11/04/2021 13:36

Great post Weevils - thank you.

ApplyWithin · 11/04/2021 13:49

Excuse my ignorance, but I’m struggling to understand how she could have died a day after being discharged from the hospital. Would it have been a case of going home to die because they couldn’t do any more for her? Or was she at a weight deemed acceptable for discharge but something happened after that? Perhaps she left of her own volition and nobody could stop her. I have experience in my family of bulimia (which led the person to be underweight but never severely so) but not anorexia.

nolongersurprised · 11/04/2021 13:58

Excuse my ignorance, but I’m struggling to understand how she could have died a day after being discharged from the hospital.

A life of anorexia ravages your body. The heart loses muscle and the conductive pathways can be damaged. If the metabolic rate is slowed because of starvation the heart rate slows too.

GreyhoundLurcher · 11/04/2021 14:00

Well put surprised - it is vile