Just heard Nikki Grahame has died

[catherineofarrogance80]

What a week 😭tragic

All the best to you and your daughter, R3d.

@AntiSocialDistancer

Posters saying she shouldn't have been on Big Brother -

We shouldn't see anorexics on reality television? People with a short emotional fuse should stay hidden away?

Should only neurotypical bores be allowed to go on TV?

Nikki had an incredibly bright and bold personality and I would think that 15 years after her appearance, with an ED that started when she was 7 - BB was not the cause of her demise.

I'm not arguing that production companies should be able to take advantage of people at whim, and as a society we've moved on since 2006. But you would rather she hadn't been a household name, sold her story, got praise and fame? Because she had a problem with food?

Hiding people with mental health disorders wont save them, and would do society a disservice.

I didn't mean that only neurotypical people should be on tv. I'm neurodiverse myself, I'm autistic. Exposure of a diverse cross section of society in the media is of course positive generally.

But Nikki was clearly vulnerable and I feel that fame could only have been a negative addition to her life. She clearly suffered from some issues with her mental health aside from anorexia, and exposure and fame surely could not have helped that. I feel that someone should have protected her. Being filmed 24/7 for a tv show that thrives on drama, the memes made, her high profile relationship could not possibly have been beneficial to her mental health.

Here’s her mum talking about how Covid and all the lockdowns have been so bad for Nikki because the gyms have been closed and she hasn’t been able to visit her friends like she normally would so she’s become isolated and the anorexia got into her head again.

It’s tragic

And I think not wanting a life ruined by Anorexia is enough. It’s why my dd finally agreed to medication and has started to improve. She’d had enough of it ruining her life and people feeling sorry for her.

@Sootybear

Anorexia causes more deaths than any other mental health condition. It's so brutal. My beautiful DD has anorexia and I am so worried for her all the time. My DP met Nikki Grahame in our local corner shop and she was so lovely. She was doing a gig in our local venue and invited us all along. I feel so so sad about this news. Such a sweet person and so young. I wish there was better treatment for anorexia. My DD was diagnosed at 16 and what they did then was useless, she was hospitalised at 23 and came out of the hospital with PTSD and no difference in her mental health. I'm feeling so sad.

When I had anorexia it was because it was something I could control in my life when lots of other things were controlled for me. I did start off wanting to loose weight about age 12, but I had very controlling parents in a lot of ways and I realise now it was more than how I looked. It was almost a religion, a spiteful punishment of myself I had to endure and keep myself in check. I then found fitness at 18 and started to work in this area, so I'd say excess workouts meant I could relax my diet. I then left fitness to do another job and things were fine, I'd had enough of it all.

I was ok until had another bad phase when I was about 32 as my company I worked for was taken over and relocated to another country. I knew I wouldn't get another job, because I was seconded so doing something much more senior than I was really get paid for in a niche sector.

I have some issues now with not being about to control my eating of previously forbidden items. I just tend to over eat as I enjoy the food,

It's so heartbreaking so many people tried to help Nikki and her Mum must be devastated. I don't think you can help someone unless they want to help themselves, it's an addiction.

I hope the lass and her family find their peace.

I had to google her, tbh I had no idea who she was and don’t recognise her at all. V sad though and also disturbing that people are drawn to the public spotlight.

Anorexia patients will eat until they reach a set weight, or BMI, and hurray! All sorted.

Discharged.
Die.

I've not seen the pictures of her Go fund me, didn't realise she was ill until today.
Feel a little disturbed about the pictures if so - did she put them out there, or her friends?

So complex and poorly understood . My son's OCD definitely has major control triggers and anxiety (he is neurodiverse), I can imagine anorexia might have similar locum of trigger.

Why do you feel ‘disturbed’ about the pictures?

Should people pretend anorexia doesn’t exist?

@Quaagars

I've not seen the pictures of her Go fund me, didn't realise she was ill until today. Feel a little disturbed about the pictures if so - did she put them out there, or her friends?

It says on the gofundme that her friends posted the photos, with Nikki's permission. That they were so worried about her, and wanted to show how bad she was, to get help

@SugarbabyMilly

Why do you feel ‘disturbed’ about the pictures?

Should people pretend anorexia doesn’t exist?

I'm not sure if you've seen the ones the poster is referring to but they are incredibly traumatic. It's awful to see someone so ill.

I think the pictures highlighting how severe her disorder ones have been taken down now.

@Quaagars

I've not seen the pictures of her Go fund me, didn't realise she was ill until today. Feel a little disturbed about the pictures if so - did she put them out there, or her friends?

They were posted with her permission. Couldn't have been nice for her, but good on her. There needs to be so much more awareness.

Treatment for ED's is not great, and often only starts when it's way too late. Purely 'physical' illnesses are treated with much more expediency.

Absolutely, heartbreakingly tragic.

I think sometimes people need to see pictures like that to realise the severity. Sometimes a picture really does paint a thousand words.

It says on the gofundme that her friends posted the photos, with Nikki's permission.
They were posted with her permission. Couldn't have been nice for her, but good on her.

Ah OK, fair enough if gave permission

There needs to be so much more awareness
completely agree

Poor Nikki, I am the same age as her, it has definitely made me think about life, and also about how I abuse my own body with food a little bit, that I sometimes go days with only eating one meal a day, or very little altogether.

I am definitely not a seriously ill anorexic (RIP Nikki)but I don't think that I have the healthiest relationship with food.

I think many of us self harm a bit with food, through under eating or over eating.

I am definitely going to improve my eating.

@SugarbabyMilly

Why do you feel ‘disturbed’ about the pictures?

Should people pretend anorexia doesn’t exist?

@SugarBabyMilly If that's in regards to my post - you've completely misread what I posted. I said I felt disturbed if people had posted photos of her ill without her permission - turns out she had given permission though so is OK. Of course there's nothing wrong with showing the realities of anorexia

@SneezyGonzalez

I had to google her, tbh I had no idea who she was and don’t recognise her at all. V sad though and also disturbing that people are drawn to the public spotlight.

No-one gives a crap if you did or didn't know who she was, not sure your faux condolence justifies you even posting here. Sanctimonious and bloody rude.

@JaneJeffer

Who IS she? WHO IS she?* I still use this all the time!

Me too and “I’m soooooo coooooold”. She must have made a lasting impression since it’s been 15 years! It’s so sad that she suffered for most of her life from such a young age.

I contributed to the Go Fund Me thread by her friends & few weeks ago. I was so shocked by her appearance & how much she'd relapsed and sadly this outcome isn't surprising.
I've just re-watched her mum's interview on This Morning. Her family, her friends, Nikki herself, couldn't have tried harder to help. The poor girl had battled this for 31 years. It's all just so very sad.

From her DM's recent interview Nikki was overwhelmed by the public support willing to help her I'm glad she felt loved in the last few weeks.

I think it’s the denial that they’ve got an issue which is the hardest to treat. I had a friend who used to hide weights in her to 'get one over the doctor' at the checkups. She’s thankfully doing better now

I'm sad we can’t do enough for people struggling with this illness

When Nikki went back to BB I believe they excluded her from the ration challenges. Was that enough? My favourite Nikki event was with the Walkman

Some of the ways in which Nikki presented (vulnerable, child-like, prone to anxious outbursts) made me ponder that, at the root of lots of mental health issues might be an autism spectrum condition, or at least a neurodivergence. It’s chronically under-diagnosed.

It’s difficult to untangle when the eating disorder is active though. Starved brains have disordered cognition and are anxious and dysphoric.

She was so adorably quirky. Hilarious and unique. So sad.