Page 13 | Just heard Nikki Grahame has died

enjoyingscience · 10/04/2021 22:24

Oh those pictures. That poor woman.

A friend at university suffered terribly with anorexia, which was the only time I’d ever seen it up close. She was the sweetest, kindest and cleverest woman, but just couldn’t keep herself well. It’s the most cruel disease.

RIP.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 10/04/2021 22:25

@Sarahtrue11

I just don't understand.If people get that thin, why aren't they sectioned, put in a coma, and fed through a feeding tube?

Read the thread! And also, do you realise what it takes to put someone in a bloody coma?! People die from that. She pulled out feeding tubes and damaged her digestive track doing so.

Anon778833 · 10/04/2021 22:25

@Sarahtrue11

I just don't understand.If people get that thin, why aren't they sectioned, put in a coma, and fed through a feeding tube?

Because you can’t do that forever. Nikki already had this treatment a number of times.

AbsentmindedWoman · 10/04/2021 22:26

Her own mother said it helped her and I don’t think it’s ok to over rule her mother, if she said it helped her, then it helped her.

It is possible that BB helped profoundly in one way in a very palpable sense, while also not helping in another.

To recover from an eating disorder, somebody has to find something else they want more, that ultimately is more important and powerful to them than then eating disorder, and breaks the spell. It's not enough to 'just' not want to have an ED. You need to actively REALLY want something.

I think a celebrity lifestyle and the opportunities that went along with that, possibly presented something really powerful - like how exciting and fun life and the world could be, if you are well enough to enjoy it. It shows another side of life very different to the drudgery of trying to cope with and survive anorexia, hospitals and doctors and health problems and worry and family tensions.

But then fame comes with a whole host of challenges and shit very specific to that lifestyle, and the stress can 'spoil' the good bits and trigger mental health issues.

Sarahtrue11 · 10/04/2021 22:28

"Read the thread! And also, do you realise what it takes to put someone in a bloody coma?! People die from that. She pulled out feeding tubes and damaged her digestive track doing so."

Oh my god!

I am saying it in a way, because I would have liked to have saved her life.
Why are you so bloody rude.

I read her book. She said in the book. that many times she was sectioned into a hospital, and a feeding tube was put in her. She kept removing the tube.

If she was this close to death, they should have done something to stop her removing the tube. Why couldnt they tie her hands down? If it would save her life?

WitchisDead · 10/04/2021 22:29

@Sarahtrue11

Given that anorexia is a deeply rooted mental illness, with significantly complex triggers and presentations in individual sufferers, that does absolutely nothing to treat the cause of the condition or support recovery. It's already been said on the thread that she removed her own feeding tubes when the sedation was lowered and resolved to lose the weight again after gaining some. She might have been at less risk of death by starvation but was by no means any healthier after being force fed.

HelpfulBelle · 10/04/2021 22:31

I am very interested in the link between anorexia and autism in girls and women. The intense anxiety that accompanies autism can lead to disordered eating. Some of the ways in which Nikki presented (vulnerable, child-like, prone to anxious outbursts) made me ponder that, at the root of lots of mental health issues might be an autism spectrum condition, or at least a neurodivergence. It’s chronically under-diagnosed.

RIP Nikki

Sarahtrue11 · 10/04/2021 22:32

[quote WitchisDead]@Sarahtrue11

Given that anorexia is a deeply rooted mental illness, with significantly complex triggers and presentations in individual sufferers, that does absolutely nothing to treat the cause of the condition or support recovery. It's already been said on the thread that she removed her own feeding tubes when the sedation was lowered and resolved to lose the weight again after gaining some. She might have been at less risk of death by starvation but was by no means any healthier after being force fed.[/quote]
yes but obviously she is going to remove the tube. She is anorexic. If you put a feeding tube into an anorexic person, they are going to remove it.

I am just thinking, is there not anything else that they could have done.

As her friends said, the NHS were not helping her, and that is why they started thegofundme page.

GillBungalow · 10/04/2021 22:33

@Sarahtrue11

I just don't understand.If people get that thin, why aren't they sectioned, put in a coma, and fed through a feeding tube?

And how does that fix the issue?

Many of the current treatments for ED's aren't a million miles away from your 'solution' as it happens. Anorexia patients will eat until they reach a set weight, or BMI, and hurray! All sorted.

Discharged.

Die.

Dentistlakes · 10/04/2021 22:33

So incredibly sad. I remember her very fondly from her BB days. Such a funny and giving personality. Anorexia is a truly horrific disease.

Sarahtrue11 · 10/04/2021 22:37

"And how does that fix the issue?

Many of the current treatments for ED's aren't a million miles away from your 'solution' as it happens. Anorexia patients will eat until they reach a set weight, or BMI, and hurray! All sorted.

Discharged.

Die."

It doesn't fix the long term issue. But long term, she was not close to death before. Her friends said that during Covid, her anorexia was the worst it has ever been, so if the NHS had managed to save her life now, when she was obviously stuggling more mentally due to isolation and Covid, she probably would have improved after Covid was over

Sirzy · 10/04/2021 22:38

It’s so sad and shows just how little understanding still remains about eating disorders.

My son has a different ED, I consider myself very lucky that we were seen by a consultant who could need the awful position he was in and he was urgently referred for peg feeding (he would never have tolerated NG) and that he has taken well to the peg feeding because his ED isn’t to do with concerns over weight. I see so many others with the same condition or other EDs and it’s devastating how little help is available

Moonwhite · 10/04/2021 22:41

I saw her photo with Pete Bennett, she looked very ill. Poor love had been struggling with her ED since childhood. When people said gyms were a lifeline for some people, they weren't lying.

With hindsight it's a shame there wasn't a fundraiser for home gym equipment instead, but who was to know. It's very sad.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 10/04/2021 22:41

@Sarahtrue11

"Read the thread! And also, do you realise what it takes to put someone in a bloody coma?! People die from that. She pulled out feeding tubes and damaged her digestive track doing so."

Oh my god!

I am saying it in a way, because I would have liked to have saved her life.
Why are you so bloody rude.

I read her book. She said in the book. that many times she was sectioned into a hospital, and a feeding tube was put in her. She kept removing the tube.

If she was this close to death, they should have done something to stop her removing the tube. Why couldnt they tie her hands down? If it would save her life?

That is not rude. It's the truth. She had had multiple treatments. You can't tie someone's hands down forever

. I'm rude but you find that an acceptable treatment for psychiatric illness? And no, it won't save the person's life because you can't do it forever and they all too often revert back to the behaviour that caused that, causing further organ damage. 'Saving someone's life' often kills them, this is especially true of putting people in medically induced comas. It's a temporary, temporary, and last ditch treatment for a very good reason. My daughter had to be placed in one and you are told there is potential for death trying to set that up or remove it. But thanks for assuming it's rude to point that out.

AntiSocialDistancer · 10/04/2021 22:43

Posters saying she shouldn't have been on Big Brother -

We shouldn't see anorexics on reality television? People with a short emotional fuse should stay hidden away?

Should only neurotypical bores be allowed to go on TV?

Nikki had an incredibly bright and bold personality and I would think that 15 years after her appearance, with an ED that started when she was 7 - BB was not the cause of her demise.

I'm not arguing that production companies should be able to take advantage of people at whim, and as a society we've moved on since 2006. But you would rather she hadn't been a household name, sold her story, got praise and fame? Because she had a problem with food?

Hiding people with mental health disorders wont save them, and would do society a disservice.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 10/04/2021 22:43

Exactly, Sirzy and Gill.

Anon778833 · 10/04/2021 22:43

When someone dies of anorexia, it’s usually heart failure due to the constant pressure that has been put on their heart from so many years.

Sarahtrue11 · 10/04/2021 22:44

"That is not rude. It's the truth. She had had multiple treatments. You can't tie someone's hands down forever hmm. I'm rude but you find that an acceptable treatment for psychiatric illness? And no, it won't save the person's life because you can't do it forever and they all too often revert back to the behaviour that caused that, causing further organ damage. 'Saving someone's life' often kills them, this is especially true of putting people in medically induced comas. It's a temporary, temporary, and last ditch treatment for a very good reason. My daughter had to be placed in one and you are told there is potential for death trying to set that up or remove it. But thanks for assuming it's rude to point that out."

Just to remind you that Nikki's friends set up the gofundme page to raise money to help Nikki, because she wasn't receiving the help that she needed through the NHS.

myrtleWilson · 10/04/2021 22:44

@LittleDoritt am so sorry for your loss.

As others have said ED have the highest mortality rate for any MH illness - I saw a stat today on twitter (from an ED expert) which said someone dies of an ED every 62 minutes.....

Research into ED is currently funded at 96p per person affected - it is pitiful.

My heart breaks for Nikki and her family. My heart also aches for all the adult sufferers on the ED thread and for the parents of children with ED thread (I am on the latter).

If anyone on this thread is worried about their own eating or about a child please do seek out the threads under the ED topic, or access support from the likes of BEAT

Sarahtrue11 · 10/04/2021 22:45

Anorexia is very sad.

R3dFish · 10/04/2021 22:47

My dd 16 got Anorexia in the first lockdown. Since September she has been admitted 5 times and been tube fed. She is now on medication and may be turning a corner.With children treatment is handed to family in the form of family therapy and food is the medicine. There has been a huge increase in ED during Covid. Support was already underfunded. Adult services are notoriously poor and many parents of older teens dread their children moving to adult. I doubt my dd would have been admitted at all under adult care. It’s appalling.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 10/04/2021 22:47

Do I need reminded? It's there for all to see. There's no magic bullet when it comes to this disease, certainly not putting people in comas for long periods (it takes a while to gain weight in a coma because the sedation causes the gut to slow and the drugs used to induce it often cause problems with kidney and liver function and they may need to be put on TPN, which isn't very good for weight gain) or restraining their arms for long periods (you can feel the NG tube and I've seen children, including my daughter, who had one for cancer treatment) vomit one up, no hands needed).

Why assume others don't have knowledge of how some of these conditions manifest and are treated ? That's rather rude.

myrtleWilson · 10/04/2021 22:48

Hey @R3dFish - sending love!

Sarahtrue11 · 10/04/2021 22:48

About tying the person's hands down. yes, I originally thought, that if a person is extremely close to death, a hospital should be able to tie their hands down, to save their life. One cruelty to prevent a worse cruelty.

But I suppose the Anorexic person would then argue to a high court that they should be able to eat as little as they want, and to not be restrained in any way.

It is just very sad all round.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 10/04/2021 22:51

@R3dFish

My dd 16 got Anorexia in the first lockdown. Since September she has been admitted 5 times and been tube fed. She is now on medication and may be turning a corner.With children treatment is handed to family in the form of family therapy and food is the medicine. There has been a huge increase in ED during Covid. Support was already underfunded. Adult services are notoriously poor and many parents of older teens dread their children moving to adult. I doubt my dd would have been admitted at all under adult care. It’s appalling.

It is. My son's OCD (contamination) has been much worse. We're lucky in that he is a child and also that we can afford private treatment. He has taken a stretch and lost weight and it worries his psychiatrist as he needs medication for OCD and ADHD.