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Original poster

embarrassed to go to the beach because of body scar

147 replies

riromay · 07/04/2021 09:58

So, my husband has invited his parents to come with us to the seaside so they take care of the baby & we can have some time together. Which is kinda sweet..but I have a "secret".

I have a huge scar on my leg that nobody ever saw (except husband,past boyfriends & parents)..if we go to the beach then they'll obviously see it..and I am so dreading this!

I'm sorry, I realise this sounds extremely stupid but I am so upset I could cry. It's funny, I am all about body positivity for other people but when it comes to myself..I just can't.

I feel like if I show the scar now then everyone would realise that I've been hiding it for forever and who knows what they'd think?

I don't know.. I'm just venting. I know I should deal with this issue but instead I am making plans on how to avoid going to the beach for a week straight..not fun!

How can I handle this? Please don't be mean, I know it's stupid but I am dreading this so much..

OP posts:

Umbivalent · 07/04/2021 19:02

*I will try and make steps to fix my attitude towards it"

You really need to. Your issue here isn't the small scar, it's the way you have let it affect your life.

Umbivalent · 07/04/2021 19:04

I've also missed so many opportunities by never going anywhere with friends etc that would require me to wear shorts or a bikini

This is so sad OP. Make this the year that you start to deal with your mental issues! You can start by enjoying your holiday with your family and in-laws

JessicaaRabbit · 07/04/2021 19:11

You've a fab figure on you, I would stare but not at your scar, more out of jealousy 😂.

I had a mole removed last year. It was on my face and throughout my life I hated this mole and the self-consciousness was high.

I now have a little scar but when I look back at pictures of me and my mole I think "it was fecking tiny, why did it bother me so much?!"

Getting the mole removed was a big deal for me, because I had to acknowledge to friends and family that I was having it removed and even that made me feel ashamed. Like even discussing it made me want to curl up into a ball. Talking about the removal was scarier to me than the actual removal procedure.

My 4 year old was devastated when it went and still sometimes mourns the loss of my mole the little weirdo.

Your scar is lovely, your legs are lovely, your bikini bod is fab! If I had those pins I'd be walking around in a pair of daisy dukes year round

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Skin conditions

ListeningQuietly · 07/04/2021 19:13

riromay
I will never ridicule you as I have a friend whose fear of her birthmark being seen absolutely crippled her socially.
The first steps to giving no shits were utterly terrifying for her.
Its hard to explain how scared she looked.
So I utterly sympathise.
BUT
I also know that you will look back and grin

SaltySeaBird · 07/04/2021 19:16

You look great! Really, I had to look hard to see it.

I’ve never even worn a bikini or shorts, not since I was 13. I got a few stretch-marks on my thigh and my mother screamed at me I’d ruined my life and should be ashamed and that I’d never be able to show my legs in public. She said I’d scarred myself with greed.

I’m 45 now, they’ve long since faded to a hint of silver, just normal growing marks (I was maybe half a stone overweight). I mean they are nothing compared to my stomach and boobs after 2 pregnancies and skin that erupts in purple lines (literally pregnancy/ breastfeeding created a whole tube network on my boobs).

I still can’t wear shorts or a bikini... I would if I looked like you!

Dilbertian · 07/04/2021 19:17

First thing I thought when I looked at those photos was "Lovely figure!" Then "Oh, hang on a sec, I'm meant to be looking for a scar. Where is it? She's got lovely skin. Oh, there it is."

There's nothing for you to be ashamed of. But how you feel is how you feel. You're not 'wrong' to feel bad - you just do. And that's OK. No need to add another layer of feeling bad about yourself! But, truly and honestly, the scar is also OK.

JustWowWowWow · 07/04/2021 19:20

Hi OP,

I just wanted to say how incredible you look in the photos, I would love to have a figure like yours. I had to look carefully to find the scar, I think it’s something that plays on your mind but actually most people wouldn’t even notice it and if they did it’s their problem and they shouldn’t be staring or asking you about it. (I need to heed my own advice here!)
I really hope that this thread will give you the confidence to go on this holiday and wear whatever you want from swimsuits to skirts, dresses and shorts and feel so much better about yourself. My suggestion would be to mention the scar beforehand so that it’s out there and when you are on the beach it shouldn’t even feature in their minds.

I don’t mean to derail the thread with my issues as I don’t have a scar specifically but I have massive legs covered in cellulite, incredibly fat thighs and calves, think giant turkey drumsticks and you get the picture plus varicose veins. They are hideous and upset me very much because even when I’ve lost weight over the years they are then left wrinkly with looser skin and I don’t think anything but surgery could improve them. Plus I’ve had people comment, my MIL for one and some horrid young twats at work who on following me upstairs on the way to break decided to talk about my appearance including the size of my legs right behind my back... that was particularly nice.
I only ever wear loose trousers or on occasion a long dress for a special event. I won’t even wear shorts around my husband or in the garden!
I look at them everyday and think how yuck they are and on holidays they always cause me issues because I hate showing them and wear tankini shorts to cover up the worst of my thighs. But this thread has been really helpful to me and I now know about swim leggings, I’m going to try these and might even summon up the courage to go swimming locally again, something I haven’t done in over 25 years! So thank you OP and all the other posters who were brave enough to share their stories.

Hiddenmnetter · 07/04/2021 19:23

So I knew it was there and was looking for it, but still had to zoom in to see that scar. It could be almost anything. I guarantee that your PIL will not care if they even notice. And I think their not noticing at all is the most likely scenario.

Suzi888 · 07/04/2021 19:25

I’d never dream of asking someone about a scar, I think it would be extremely rude.
What about a sarong or shorts? Not that you should have to hide it, just it if you don’t want them to see it.

Suzi888 · 07/04/2021 19:39

Ooh I’ve seen your photos of it, crikey it’s not something I would worry about at all. I know it’s a big deal for you, but it honestly shouldn’t be. You have beautiful skin, maybe it stands out so much to you because your skin is so flawless! enjoy your holiday and don’t give it a second thought!

movingadvice · 07/04/2021 19:49

I'm not trying to one up you OP but mine is massive compared to that and it's never really bothered me. Please don't let it put you off having fun. :-)

Fembot123 · 07/04/2021 19:52

Plus I’ve had people comment, my MIL for one and some horrid young twats at work who on following me upstairs on the way to break decided to talk about my appearance including the size of my legs right behind my back... that was particularly nice

That’s so awful, I hate people sometimes such a needlessly cruel species.

WildfirePonie · 07/04/2021 19:55

OP, you have an amazing figure! I bet people were staring because you look great. And it is barely noticable!

Original poster

riromay · 07/04/2021 19:55

Thank you so much to everyone that replied to this thread, you've helped me so much. I cried reading some of your comments and I am not a crier..

To anyone that said the also have insecurities, I feel you & hope things will get better for you as well.

OP posts:

HelloDulling · 07/04/2021 19:58

Oh, OP. I seriously can barely see it ( I don’t have my glasses on, but honestly, it is not glaringly obvious). It’s not ugly. Or unsightly. Or shameful. Or anything.

But, if they ask “What is that on you leg?”
You just say, “I had to have a skin graft when I was a teenager.”

That’s the end of the conversation.

Enjoy your trip.

UnforgottenPunk · 07/04/2021 20:02

My husband has a whooping great scar right over the top of his head from brain surgery. It doesn't bother him AT ALL...in our world, scars show a story and your courage.

Please embrace it, don't fret. I admire people with scars as I think they're superheroes

poshme · 07/04/2021 20:05

This was princess beatrice's dress on her wedding day.

She deliberately chose a design that showed off her scar.

OP if I saw your scar I'd probably wonder what it was from, but I wouldn't ask.

embarrassed to go to the beach because of body scar

halfwaythrough2 · 07/04/2021 20:11

Oh bless you darling! Can barely even see the scar!

Honestly it's quite small I think you've got yourself really worked up over it xxxx massive hug! I did it too in the past I've got self harm scars on my legs and always used to dread it! But just like yours can barley see them and really aren't bad at all! And even if they were bad no one really bothers as most of us have a big scar of some sorts xxx

BlowDryRat · 07/04/2021 20:14

Oh OP, I feel so sorry for you. You've built this up into something life-defining and it really, truly isn't worth that. You have an amazing figure and the scar isn't particularly noticeable. No one is going to run away screaming, no one will judge you. They might ask how you got it, but that's as much notice as anyone will take. I really hope you can work this out so you have a fabulous holiday.

steppemum · 07/04/2021 20:15

well, if I didn't knwo that this was an issue, I wouldn't have noticed it in the pics. It really is much less noticeable than you think.

But I know that doesn't change how you feel when you are self conscious about something.

And you look bloody good in a bikini. (not jealous at all me, Oh no, not at all)

Lovemusic33 · 07/04/2021 20:21

I have a similar scar on my back after having a large pre cancerous mole removed, I stupidly removed the stitches early making a hole in my back. I tell people I was shot as it looks like a big bullet hole 🤣🤣.

Honestly I find scars attractive and interesting, they tell a story wether it’s good or bad. No one should feel ashamed of having scars, marks or blemishes on their skin, most people have them. Go to the beach and wear that bikini, no one will say anything x

bubdud · 07/04/2021 20:24

Hi OP. I have a very large scar across my face after being in an accident as a teen.

Most of my life I’ve tried to hide it, different hairstyles, make up, thick rimmed glasses to try hide some of it. Then a few years ago the realisation hit me why was I making this an issue? I was the one choosing to do all these things and putting these limitations on my life. And so I decided to stop doing all these things. I now wear my hair back off my face, I wear make up but not with the purpose of hiding my scar (I had been through so many different professional brand cover make ups), and I’ve even started wearing contact lenses so don’t have that comfort of a frame across my face. And the only way my life has changed is that I feel more free. Having it on show hasn’t made any one ask me about it, hasn’t invited any nasty comments, literally nothing else has changed apart from how free I now am. Try it! You can do it!

Changemaname1 · 07/04/2021 20:25

I’m one to talk because I get insecure over ridiculous things hah but seriously I wouldn’t even look twice at this ! They won’t care or probably even notice !

User5747384 · 07/04/2021 20:30

Saw the pictures it's fine, horrible to see you are worrying about something so insignificant.
I wouldn't think anything if I saw your scar let alone ask what it's for, it's just a scar.
Wear what you like and stop worrying I am sure you will look lovely.

TheVolturi · 07/04/2021 20:32

I have a 8inch scar on the back of my thigh that I got almost 20 years ago, it is a knife wound. I was so devastated by it for a couple of years, but as time went on I really just stopped caring. I had a waiter in India bring out drinks on the beach and he said wow, shark bite? I said yep! That's the only time anyone has asked.
It's just part of me now, same for you op, don't be ashamed or embarrassed, no one will mention it.

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