embarrassed to go to the beach because of body scar

[riromay]

So, my husband has invited his parents to come with us to the seaside so they take care of the baby & we can have some time together. Which is kinda sweet..but I have a "secret".

I have a huge scar on my leg that nobody ever saw (except husband,past boyfriends & parents)..if we go to the beach then they'll obviously see it..and I am so dreading this!

I'm sorry, I realise this sounds extremely stupid but I am so upset I could cry. It's funny, I am all about body positivity for other people but when it comes to myself..I just can't.

I feel like if I show the scar now then everyone would realise that I've been hiding it for forever and who knows what they'd think?

I don't know.. I'm just venting. I know I should deal with this issue but instead I am making plans on how to avoid going to the beach for a week straight..not fun!

How can I handle this? Please don't be mean, I know it's stupid but I am dreading this so much..

OP I think you look great. Have a fabulous holiday!

I have a scar on my arm and i tell people i was stabbed don't explain myself to anyone. Its nobody's business. I also have large birth marks (stamp of uniqueness you could say) and it gave me massive anxiety as a teen. I've learned to live with it and just shrug it off as much as I can. I realise not everybody is the same and can understand why you might get anxious. I'm not the best at advice but just wanted to say you're not alone and it's hard.

Did you post pictures? I can;t see them!

Once they know about the scar, it will just become part of "you" for them. They won't give it a second thought (except perhaps to be upset that you were so worried about them seeing it).

Doesn't feel coincidental that you hated the birthmark and now you hate the signs of the repair. Being brave enough to reveal this could be the first step to undoing a lot of damage. Nobody will care, honestly.

Don't sweat it. I have a very long noticeable scar down the front of my stomach AND prefer bikinis to swimming suits. Never felt distressed by it. The way I see it I battled for my life and won. Scar schmar I say.

Once I was on a beach in Croatia and another lady with the same scar who was also in a bikini, saw my scar and said "snap"! We traded war wound stories, had a laugh and then went on our way.

@steppemum

Did you post pictures? I can;t see them!

I did!! I'll try again

Bless you @riromay nobody is going to notice that! It could be anything. You could have just knelt on something that left a mark. Enjoy your holiday!

Took me a while to find it and I was looking for it. I wish I looked as good as you in a bikini I have a far more embarrassing wobbly bits, stretch marks and basically lived in body than that!

You are both being very kind. I think it's probably not as noticeable in the pictures, in real life people have stared though..

But it's a new year new me situation 😊

It's so easy for people to say that it's fine but only you know how it feels. It does look fine though!

I was pondering about going for a swim in the river locally and I'm a bit skinny and have some scratches on me from trying to shift a table. I'm more worried about if it's safe if I get a gulpful of water than sharks though

riromay
Definitely a Moray Eel or a Cookie Cutter Shark
but actually
I first thought you'd knelt in damp sand.

You have lovely legs, show them off and be proud.

@riromay i literally had to zoom in to see it; i didn't even notice it! If anything i noticed what a lovely figure you have. I'm jealous of your perfect stomach as mine is full of stretch marks after having dc!

How far down your leg is the scar op? If it’s above the knee, could you buy some ladies or blokes swimming shorts? I hate my stretch marks on my thighs and cellulite so I always buy men’s swim shorts when at the beach, I know I could get women’s ones but they tend to be shorter and they don’t cover them so there’s no point.

Nobody will care and I would imagine if they notice, they won’t bother bringing it up as it’s just rude putting someone on the spot about something they clearly don’t want to talk about.

I bet it’s worse in your head than it actually looks in real life too others. We always feel worse about our own insecurities and notice/make them seem more apparent than they actually are.

Please don’t worry and have an amazing time!

Ooops, cross post!

As previous posters said I also had to zoom in to figure out what I was looking for. Honestly it’s really not noticeable.

You have an amazing body ( very jealous) so head high and strut your stuff down the beach 😀

You shouldn’t be embarrassed about how you got it, it’s not your fault it’s that shitty doctor, further than that have a great time.

It doesn’t look eye catching in the slightest but even if it did I’d wish you could own it, no one should be embarrassed about things like that, the more scars, colostomy bags etc etc people see the more they are normalised and we can all just get on with enjoying life.

Lovely pics, OP - jealous of your gorgeous figure. Honestly believe the vast majority of people would either not notice or think idly 'bet that was painful' and get on with being envious of/appreciating your legs.

Definitely go with cookiecutter shark as the story.

I have a lemon-sized skin graft

Sorry, is that it? I was expecting something much bigger/traumatic! All you have to say is "I had to have a prominent birthmark removed". End of boring story, end of interest in your not very impressive "scar".

Oh OP, I've just seen your photos. You poor love, you've built this non-thing up into a massive issue.

Why don't you wear shorts? Or skirts? Most people wouldn't even notice that. And so what if they did!

I’m sorry you feel so bad about it. You’re in laws might ask but if you say you had a birth mark removed they are unlikely to ever think of it again. I think if people notice these things they only just wonder what caused it out of curiosity. I hope you can go to the beach, enjoy your day and after feel more confident as no one on the beach was looking and we’re far more interested in the beautiful views or avoiding losing their lunch to seagulls

OP You have to really zoom in on your pictures to notice anything at all! Really, don’t give it another thought. I’ve got a huge y shaped scar from a liver transplant and I’ve only braved a bikini a few times but no one said anything. Most people just don’t notice and if they do, they are too polite to mention it.

I had to zoom in on your photo to find it, I bet they won’t even notice. I thought it would be a big massive one which makes people curious. I know it’s hard when it’s on your own body though.

@Umbivalent

Oh OP, I've just seen your photos. You poor love, you've built this non-thing up into a massive issue.

Why don't you wear shorts? Or skirts? Most people wouldn't even notice that. And so what if they did!

Not only I never wear shorts/skirts unless in a place that no one knows me but I've also missed so many opportunities by never going anywhere with friends etc that would require me to wear shorts or a bikini.

I wanted to be on the cheerleading team but I didn't because of this. I barely know how to swim because of this . And many more examples ..

I know it's ridiculous especially for those of you who don't think it's a bad scar ( it's worse in real life) but that's how my life has been affected by it. I will try and make steps to fix my attitude towards it