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The Yorkshire shepherdess and the snowflake generation

507 replies

Marcia1989 · 06/04/2021 17:19

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9438725/Our-Yorkshire-Farm-star-Amanda-Owen-gave-birth-eighth-child-husband-ASLEEP-upstairs.html

Sorry for link to the Daily Mail. It was the only non-paywalled article but her comments are also reported in The Times and The Telegraph.

She runs a sheep farm in a remote part of Yorkshire and has 9 kids. She thinks that parents do not raise their children to be sufficiently independent, to look after themselves. She didn't really do home-schooling with them because she doesn't want to be a helicopter parent - she expects them to just get on with it. She expects all the kids to help on the farm and they don't really do devices/TV etc. Having watched her TV series, I agree that her kids seem admirably self-sufficient and mature and I do think generally it's really good for children to have some responsibility. But, I do also wonder whether a lack of individual attention is detrimental to them. And there will be some kids who don't get on with it, and is it really right to just leave them to it?

What does everyone think?

OP posts:
Oldbeams · 07/04/2021 21:15

@mermaidsariel

I think the Owens are very unusual in that they are genuinely a happy loving family . I think they have pulled off something pretty remarkable by anyone’s standards. I think it’s due to Annabel and her inexhaustible energy and outlook on life . She is a very unusual woman. Having a large family and running a farm would be hard work and probably more the most of us could manage. That’s the point of the whole thing. We are not supposed to be feeling any mere mortal could do it. I certainly couldn’t.
Great post. Me neither! I am full of admiration for her!
TristantheTyrannosaurus · 07/04/2021 21:56

@mermaidsariel

I think the Owens are very unusual in that they are genuinely a happy loving family . I think they have pulled off something pretty remarkable by anyone’s standards. I think it’s due to Annabel and her inexhaustible energy and outlook on life . She is a very unusual woman. Having a large family and running a farm would be hard work and probably more the most of us could manage. That’s the point of the whole thing. We are not supposed to be feeling any mere mortal could do it. I certainly couldn’t.
Quite a sycophantic post. Most people wouldn't want to be like the Owens in any way. I'd hate living on a farm. I think it's incredibly irresponsible to have that many kids and find people who merch their kids out deplorable. No one has any idea if they are a genuinely a happy loving family - all these things are staged and edited because the entire purpose is to make money. There's nothing to be applauded about people who merch their kids out, or have huge families in this day and age.
Bishbashbosh101 · 07/04/2021 22:07

merch their kids out

I think I find this phrase more dreadful than having children appear in heart warming documentaries where they're filmed doing incredibly private things like collecting hens' eggs.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Nanny0gg · 07/04/2021 22:09

@Tal45

Her idea of independence seems to be to have all the kids helping out with everything or just left to their own devices and to place very little importance on school. I don't really see what's to admire (although I've not watched her tv show). To me opportunities come from education and independence comes from getting older and growing up. There's no benefit to being independent at 8 instead of at 18.

Farming is a very difficult life (I grew up on one), it's not a life I'd encourage my kids into, there are no breaks, days start at 5:30, nights can go on all night in all weathers and the money is terrible. If I was her I'd be encouraging my kids education to give them as many options as possible. It's seems she had little education so she sees little value in it which I think is very sad.

Going by the degree the eldest is doing, there seems to be some importance attached to education
TristantheTyrannosaurus · 07/04/2021 22:10

@Bishbashbosh101

merch their kids out

I think I find this phrase more dreadful than having children appear in heart warming documentaries where they're filmed doing incredibly private things like collecting hens' eggs.

They're too young to consent to that filming and it's being done to earn money for the parents, that's using your children to make money and I find that really deplorable. Not just them, but shows like the Radfords or Mummy Diaries and all that. I don't find that heart-warming at all.
Nanny0gg · 07/04/2021 22:12

@Viviennemary

I wonder what attracted her to this older man with his 1000 acre farm. Hmm
That they rent...
Oldbeams · 07/04/2021 22:20

Most people wouldn't want to be like the Owens in any way. I'd hate living on a farm

Just as well we are not all the same!

TristantheTyrannosaurus · 07/04/2021 22:30

@Oldbeams

Most people wouldn't want to be like the Owens in any way. I'd hate living on a farm

Just as well we are not all the same!

Exactly! Can't think of anything worse. Or having that many kids.
Nanny0gg · 07/04/2021 22:30

@Chicchicchicchiclana

Have you heard of over population? Confused. The planet cannot sustain the people it has, let alone the number of people it would have if everyone who has easy access to contraception chose to have 9 children.
But there are many childfree people in this country. Maybe it balances out...
derxa · 07/04/2021 22:35

I'd hate living on a farm. That's you though. I love living on my farm.

Nanny0gg · 07/04/2021 22:35

@JaniieJones

'They DO take an interest in their schoolwork. She says she doesn’t get to parents evenings. That’s not the same thing'

She admitted herself they didn't bother with homeschooling in the pandemic and not going to parents evening does indeed show a lack of interest.

They can do as they please but their efforts aren't better than anyone else and I would suggest calling anyone snowflake is not helpful. They should not be so superior.

The eldest daughter helped with the homeschooling. And to be fair, she was probably better qualified to do it. Also not unusual for older siblings to that during the pandemic so their parents could work
GeronimoHate · 07/04/2021 23:04

I grew up in a large family with a sheep farm. We got very little attention from our parents - all grew up independently successful - don’t want to spend time with each other - we’re a family who appear close to the public eye but appearances are deceptive.

jessstan2 · 08/04/2021 04:08

mermaidsariel

I think the Owens are very unusual in that they are genuinely a happy loving family . I think they have pulled off something pretty remarkable by anyone’s standards. I think it’s due to Annabel and her inexhaustible energy and outlook on life . She is a very unusual woman. Having a large family and running a farm would be hard work and probably more the most of us could manage. That’s the point of the whole thing. We are not supposed to be feeling any mere mortal could do it. I certainly couldn’t.
.....
Would you want to?

If it works for them, fine. I can't say I found what I saw of the series particularly interesting but they are a good looking couple, articulate, appear healthy and the children seem fine. It takes all sorts. Other than that I have no comment.

Veterinari · 08/04/2021 04:27

** Her name is Amanda not Annabel Confused

They're too young to consent to that filming and it's being done to earn money for the parents, that's using your children to make money and I find that really deplorable. Not just them, but shows like the Radfords or Mummy Diaries and all that. I don't find that heart-warming at all.

I think the consent thing is interesting. I agree that the children technically cannot consent. But it's interesting that no one mentions this in other industries where children are exposed to the media or public scrutiny - e.g the Harry Potter acting children, modelling, sporting academies etc. Those children are also too young to consent - does that make parents who support their children's passions through auditions/theatre/sports schools etc guilty of the same? What about Olympic athletes under 18?

My assumption would be that this would be something they'd decided as a family and if any of the children were worried about being on TV, I would hope that would be respected. Certainly the older ones don't seem to mind Smile

Needahand42 · 08/04/2021 08:15

@Veterinari

** Her name is Amanda not Annabel Confused

They're too young to consent to that filming and it's being done to earn money for the parents, that's using your children to make money and I find that really deplorable. Not just them, but shows like the Radfords or Mummy Diaries and all that. I don't find that heart-warming at all.

I think the consent thing is interesting. I agree that the children technically cannot consent. But it's interesting that no one mentions this in other industries where children are exposed to the media or public scrutiny - e.g the Harry Potter acting children, modelling, sporting academies etc. Those children are also too young to consent - does that make parents who support their children's passions through auditions/theatre/sports schools etc guilty of the same? What about Olympic athletes under 18?

My assumption would be that this would be something they'd decided as a family and if any of the children were worried about being on TV, I would hope that would be respected. Certainly the older ones don't seem to mind Smile

It is in fact 'mentioned' about children acting and competing professionally, more than mentioned, there's very strict laws governing it, at least in this country, to make sure that the children involved are safe and happy in the absence of being able to consent fully. There's no such governing of plastering your children over social media or using them as part of your own personal brand however, unfortunately, no regulation of how they're treated, so it seems more seedy than children being actors.
Veterinari · 08/04/2021 08:29

That's interesting @Needahand42 - I absolutely admit it's not something I know about.

Why would regulation that applies to a child actor not also apply to a child in a documentary/reality programme? Surely it's essentially the same kind of 'work' just that one is pretending to be something and one isn't

Needahand42 · 08/04/2021 08:36

@Veterinari

That's interesting *@Needahand42* - I absolutely admit it's not something I know about.

Why would regulation that applies to a child actor not also apply to a child in a documentary/reality programme? Surely it's essentially the same kind of 'work' just that one is pretending to be something and one isn't

There are codes of conduct and child protection regs covering children in documentaries but they don't need to adhere to the same laws because they're not paying for the children's time/acting, they're 'just' paying the parents for the documentary and the children just happen to be part of the family and come under the parents consent so they don't have to worry about it in the same way, it's left to the ethics of the film company to deal with.

And the social media side doesn't even have the production company overlooking it, besides the basic laws that apply to any child any time, the parents can do and show what they like.

Veterinari · 08/04/2021 08:39

Thank you @Needahand42 that's interesting. I wonder with the ongoing popularity of reality TV if we'll see changes to how consent/working hours/safeguarding etc are regulated

Needahand42 · 08/04/2021 08:46

@Veterinari

Thank you *@Needahand42* that's interesting. I wonder with the ongoing popularity of reality TV if we'll see changes to how consent/working hours/safeguarding etc are regulated
That would be really good, if it was more heavily regulated it would end many social media 'careers' overnight which is a bit shocking. It seems very uneven that you need masses of rules to film a child doing a TV advert for say Mars bars, but you could have the same child bullied by their parents to be part of an Instagram video advertising Mars bars with no regulation at all. (Not that that's what Amanda is doing, just an example of people using their children for promotion).
Nora1978 · 08/04/2021 10:26

I have mixed feelings about it. I feel like I’m supposed to look up to this family as an ideal way of life but I can’t get past the fact that it’s not a simple, idyllic life when the children are being filmed and broadcast to the nation. So I don’t really treat her as a role model in any way, she’s just doing things her way and I’m doing things mine.

MillyMollyMandyish · 08/04/2021 10:51

The rules and laws around children as actors are fairly complex. A friend of a friend was a teacher and used to teach children who were in long-term theatre productions (Oliver etc) on the London stage. By law they can only work so many hours and also have to receive an education even though they are performing for much of the day.

The difference with the TV prog discussed here is the children are not in the contract; it's with their parents.

bendmeoverbackwards · 08/04/2021 10:57

I think there is something a bit wrong with expecting or wanting children to be independent at a young age. Our job as parents is to raise independent adults, while children are young they do and should depend on their parents or care givers.

Lantanacamara · 08/04/2021 11:12

bend that is my issue exactly. I don't dislike them but I do take issue with having such a large family only to pan them off on the eldest child so that you can live your best life, and to me that seems exactly what Amanda is doing. Someone upthread said Amanda has a very good social life and that doesn't surprise me at all.
In her books she was pleading poverty and "we love the simple life, not interested in being in the limelight" but then I unfollowed her when there didn't seem to be a day when she wasn't on TV, radio, podcast or some other promotional media outlet. Don't know about now but back then she was doing a lot more media than shepherding.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 08/04/2021 11:13

@bendmeoverbackwards

I think there is something a bit wrong with expecting or wanting children to be independent at a young age. Our job as parents is to raise independent adults, while children are young they do and should depend on their parents or care givers.
Surely part of rearing independent adults is to start teaching them independence skills from a young age?

Not more than they can handle, but I remember going to university and finding students who had clearly been mollycoddled, and were suddenly having to fend for themselves with no concept of how to cook or otherwise manage. Likewise, I once had a 30 year old lodger who'd just left home for the first time and I had to explain to him about laundry - separating the darks and whites, which settings to use on the machine and so on. I'd been doing my own laundry since the age of about 11 or 12, and it did me no harm whatsoever.

I can imagine Raven had no such issues when she went off to university - she may not be especially streetwise but I'm certain she didn't spend the entire year living off chicken dippers and potato smileys as one contemporary of mine in university halls did.

Lantanacamara · 08/04/2021 11:15

Meant to add, I think Amanda is a very intelligent, driven woman who hasnt fallen into fame by accident. I think this is what she wanted all along and she thinks everyone has to dance to her tune.