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The Yorkshire shepherdess and the snowflake generation

507 replies

Marcia1989 · 06/04/2021 17:19

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9438725/Our-Yorkshire-Farm-star-Amanda-Owen-gave-birth-eighth-child-husband-ASLEEP-upstairs.html

Sorry for link to the Daily Mail. It was the only non-paywalled article but her comments are also reported in The Times and The Telegraph.

She runs a sheep farm in a remote part of Yorkshire and has 9 kids. She thinks that parents do not raise their children to be sufficiently independent, to look after themselves. She didn't really do home-schooling with them because she doesn't want to be a helicopter parent - she expects them to just get on with it. She expects all the kids to help on the farm and they don't really do devices/TV etc. Having watched her TV series, I agree that her kids seem admirably self-sufficient and mature and I do think generally it's really good for children to have some responsibility. But, I do also wonder whether a lack of individual attention is detrimental to them. And there will be some kids who don't get on with it, and is it really right to just leave them to it?

What does everyone think?

OP posts:
Dobbyafreeelf · 07/04/2021 14:28

@Lantanacamara

Dobby Amanda calm the hell down. I don't know them personally, I'm going by what THEY put out about themselves. Raven used to have York St John in her bio, so I'm not assuming anything. Regardless, I don't get care where she goes, I'm just delighted she got away! She used to side eye Amanda in the programmes as if there was real animosity between them. When I said they are being prepared for a life of farming I meant that is all they are exposed to and by their own admission they do not encourage academics at all. Great that they have an extra bedroom now, the house is still greatly overcrowded though and looked filthy in the programmes.
@Lantanacamara I don't need to cam down thank you. Stop being so condescending! I was just being really clear with you as you seemed to be lacking in comprehension!
MillyMollyMandyish · 07/04/2021 14:30

I am loathe to waste more time arguing with you @Veterinari but as you accused me of lying on a post, I've no choice.

I didn't lie. And I think it's deeply unpleasant of you to say that.

I put two and two together which you took issue with.

I said that AO implied that children who didn't do what hers were able to do- work on the farm, drive tractors , deliver lambs, muck out in all weathers , and so on- were being let down by a poor parenting style.

The article is about snowflakes. It doesn't take much insight to join the dots, surely?

Her point is that the outdoor life her children have (and being one of nine) gives them independence, resilience and tenacity which other children don't have.

My giving examples of her kids' lives and comparing it to urban lives is not lying. Just because some points are not spelled out in the DM article doesn't mean they can't be inferred.

Her opinion is clear.

mermaidsariel · 07/04/2021 14:32

@mustlovegin

Understandably, with, what, eight or nine children and running a big, remote farm, she doesn't have time to help her children with their schoolwork

TBH, I'm not even sure why parents are expected nowadays to get so involved with 'helping' children with their homework. This was not required 20 years ago. Children were required to get on with it

Yes. Mine never helped with mine once . Nor did the parents of any of my friends. What do people at boarding school do?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Oldbeams · 07/04/2021 14:32

All the people criticising A & C are perfect parents of course! Everyone is going to parent differently with different advantages and disadvantages relating to town v country living, and large families v small. Give the poor woman a break. She does question herself in the tv programmes. She admits certain aspects of their parenting, by necessity, are a bit rough and ready. Not one person can be all things to all people. I for one thinks she does amazingly well to cope with everything she does. Good luck to her.

mustlovegin · 07/04/2021 14:33

When I said they are being prepared for a life of farming I meant that is all they are exposed to and by their own admission they do not encourage academics at all

Maybe Amanda was raised like this and she is not very academic herself. In spite of this she has achieved a great deal so she may value different things which have worked for her (she appears to be very cunning and full of energy, admittedly).

Rustygriswold · 07/04/2021 14:34

My ex grew up in a farming family in a village. Of his 5 siblings himself (youngest) and the eldest are the only ones interested in taking on the farm.

Sure they ran amok in the fields and village growing up, but their dad like most authentic time served farmers (not Jolyon and Millie who’ve sold the flat in London to buy llamas on a Devon smallholding type of ‘farmer’) was an ignorant, miserable, obnoxious, cruel, and tight man, so his kids honed their independance out of avoiding him as much as possible Grin

Soon as those kids get a taste of the real world at college or work experience elsewhere, all but the most compliant natured will up and leave for the smoke.

She makes a great iconic feature ‘the six foot model shepherdess’ so her brand sells well.

But the really idyllic childhood is one where all the kids feel equally loved and enjoying full attention from both parents, and that can happen anywhere with the right parents. Rural or urban.

derxa · 07/04/2021 14:35

They are being prepared for a life of farming and nothing else. You've no idea of how much maths and science you learn growing up on a farm. AO is a writer herself. She's going to be helping the children's English.

krustykittens · 07/04/2021 14:36

@Oldbeams

All the people criticising A & C are perfect parents of course! Everyone is going to parent differently with different advantages and disadvantages relating to town v country living, and large families v small. Give the poor woman a break. She does question herself in the tv programmes. She admits certain aspects of their parenting, by necessity, are a bit rough and ready. Not one person can be all things to all people. I for one thinks she does amazingly well to cope with everything she does. Good luck to her.
If you make sweeping generalisations about others in a national newspaper, you can expect a bit of push back. I'm sure she doesn't mind, it will all be publicity for her.
krustykittens · 07/04/2021 14:38

"But the really idyllic childhood is one where all the kids feel equally loved and enjoying full attention from both parents, and that can happen anywhere with the right parents. Rural or urban."

Exactly this! The best parents are the ones who do the best they can and who give a shit. The Owens clearly do and there are millions more who feel the same, even if they do not live remotely the same way.

TristantheTyrannosaurus · 07/04/2021 14:40

My eyes glaze over when someone calls others snowflakes. Have never watched this show as really don't want to applaud or line the pockets of anyone who has this many kids.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 07/04/2021 14:40

Head above the parapet, but I'm not taking life advice from someone who thinks it's appropriate to have that many children in this day and age.

derxa · 07/04/2021 14:40

If you make sweeping generalisations about others in a national newspaper, you can expect a bit of push back. I'm sure she doesn't mind, it will all be publicity for her. I would agree with this. It's all done for publicity

SueSaid · 07/04/2021 14:43

'But the really idyllic childhood is one where all the kids feel equally loved and enjoying full attention from both parents, and that can happen anywhere with the right parents. Rural or urban'

Yes and what a far more accurate, balanced and interesting article that would have been.

Veterinari · 07/04/2021 14:43

@mustlovegin

When I said they are being prepared for a life of farming I meant that is all they are exposed to and by their own admission they do not encourage academics at all

Maybe Amanda was raised like this and she is not very academic herself. In spite of this she has achieved a great deal so she may value different things which have worked for her (she appears to be very cunning and full of energy, admittedly).

She was raised in a semi detached house in Huddersfield
Geamhradh · 07/04/2021 14:46

"This thread is women at their very worst - bitchy, & insecure.

And one poster who stands up for the woman - is accused of being her or her PR. It's a bit tragic really."

Far more misogynistic than any other poster on the thread, arguably.

Simply too ironic calling women "bitchy and insecure" when trying to grapple onto that moral high ground.

What's your take then @TatianaBis on Owen criticising other women and how they bring up their children?

Winterwarrior · 07/04/2021 14:48

Why does a thread about parenting have to descend into a Slagging match about her clothes, jewellery and make up? It’s pathetic. Also, their family is a two parent family so why is she taking all the flack. Most of the criticism of her is based on DAILY MAIL article.

mustlovegin · 07/04/2021 14:48

She was raised in a semi detached house in Huddersfield

I mean, maybe she wasn't mollycoddled herself but still managed to become successful. Perhaps that's why she has such strong views against overprotecting children

Geamhradh · 07/04/2021 14:48

@TatianaBis

It's a chat forum?

Quite. So all this defensiveness and criticism & spite is truly bizarre.

Said the pot to the kettle.
Aloethere · 07/04/2021 14:49

When I said they are being prepared for a life of farming I meant that is all they are exposed to and by their own admission they do not encourage academics at all.

I don't know about the UK but here a lot of the kids of farmers who wish to continue farming still go and get a degree in agriculture or do further studies relating to farming. Being a farmer does not mean that someone has no academic prowess. A lot of the vets around here come from a farming background, it makes sense when they have grown up around animals. Kids will often find their own way, just because she doesn't hover over their school work or attend parent teacher meetings doesn't mean that she doesn't pat them on the back for a job well done at school or encourage them when they talk about what they want to be when they grow up does it? If one of them or more does decide they want to run the farm it would be quite likely that they will seek out further education to help them.

Veterinari · 07/04/2021 14:55

@MillyMollyMandyish
I said that AO implied that children who didn't do what hers were able to do- work on the farm, drive tractors , deliver lambs, muck out in all weathers , and so on- were being let down by a poor parenting style.

That isn't what she said, or what she implied.

There is nowhere in the articles where she says or implies that children who do not work on farms/drive tractors etc are snowflakes or being let down by their parents. That is simply factually incorrect. What she criticises is 'If you put your child on a pedestal with no sense of independence, and think you have got to entertain them the whole time, what can you expect?' That is nothing to do with not being raised on a farm Confused

The snowflake reference was made in relation to 'They don't know anything about how to look after themselves, or a work ethic' That has nothing to do with quad bikes or rural living 🤷‍♀️

It's still not pleasant (as I've already said) and I wouldn't consider it entirely accurate either. But if you're determined to pick her apart you'd be better off focussing on what she has said, not making stuff up, or inferring her children can't cope with 'city life'

Oldbeams · 07/04/2021 15:00

If you make sweeping generalisations about others in a national newspaper, you can expect a bit of push back. I'm sure she doesn't mind, it will all be publicity for her

Yes happily I'm sure she is level headed and sensible enough to ignore the criticism on here and stick to her guns. She's allowed to have opinions just as much as the next person. And quite a lot of people working in tertiary education (including my siblings who love their studenta) have made similar observations, so I don't think it's that sweeping to be honest! It's reasonable that spending lots of time on tablets might make some students less able to negotiate the obstacles they meet along the way in RL. And I certainly do more for my teens then my parents did for me. It's part of a shift in how most of us parent. So I don't understand why so many posters on here are taking umbrage! She was making a general observation that's all. Why is everyone so quick to take offence?

derxa · 07/04/2021 15:02

@Aloethere

When I said they are being prepared for a life of farming I meant that is all they are exposed to and by their own admission they do not encourage academics at all.

I don't know about the UK but here a lot of the kids of farmers who wish to continue farming still go and get a degree in agriculture or do further studies relating to farming. Being a farmer does not mean that someone has no academic prowess. A lot of the vets around here come from a farming background, it makes sense when they have grown up around animals. Kids will often find their own way, just because she doesn't hover over their school work or attend parent teacher meetings doesn't mean that she doesn't pat them on the back for a job well done at school or encourage them when they talk about what they want to be when they grow up does it? If one of them or more does decide they want to run the farm it would be quite likely that they will seek out further education to help them.

Yes. There are a lot of weird ideas here about farmers and their children. My own mother, a farmer's daughter went to university in the 1940s. Very few don't do further education. There isn't a living for all the Owen children at their farm. They'll have to do something else.
mustlovegin · 07/04/2021 15:10

And I certainly do more for my teens then my parents did for me. It's part of a shift in how most of us parent

Yes, and it's causing a lot of anxiety for parents today who feel constantly on edge. The cost-benefit justification for this societal shift (or what exactly has brought it about) is not sufficiently clear. One thing is to be present for your children and attend to their needs, something very different is the constant smothering.

Graciebobcat · 07/04/2021 15:11

With such an unusual style of parenting and living in a remote place, I'm not sure she is the best person to comment on regular parenting.

Also the country would be in a right fucking state if everyone had nine kids.

These articles are always stupid anyway, whatever uncontroversial things the interviewee says, the DM will usually amplify or just make something up.