Advice please! More random the better

[HeidiHoNeighbour]

I’m bored and waiting for a delivery

Give me some advice on anything and everything.
Please so bored....

[quote AlCalavicci]@Wendyhause,
you are not wrong , it looks great when it goes on without been shaken or stirred

@AcornAutumn

Put a drop of lavender in your milk and leave town with an orange.

😂

BUT WHAT IS DRAGON BUTTER?????

If there is any doubt, there is no doubt.

BUT WHAT IS DRAGON BUTTER?????

I looked.... my eyes.... please don’t look it up they are right it’s vile.

Never eat anything small children have made ar nursery/school. You dont know where the multiple hands have been before going in the mixture.
You also look like a caring parent insisting that they eat the special treat rather than you

@Kpo58

Eat chocolate covered digestives with them upsidedown because then the chocolate will hit your tongue and they will taste better.

Whoa, wait a minute there that could be a game changer. Once I’ve tested a packet or two I’ll send feedback

Out of interest, where do you stand on dunking biscuits?

Don't let the bastards grind you down.

Please someone describe dragon butter and blue waffles. I can't bear to google but so desperate to know

OnceUponAMidnightBeery

Do not fall for MN telling you not to google things.

They’re serious. And iPhones don’t react well to memory bleach.

Don’t tickle your male puppies belly when he’s laid on his back unless you can duck quickly. This may also apply to children.

Do not spill cooking oil on a tiled floor. Unless you have a secret desire to re-enact Bambi on ice. For days.

Make sure your cat is a different colour to your carpet.

@BluebellsGreenbells

OnceUponAMidnightBeery

@BluebellsGreenbells

Dear god. I think I love you!

If at first you don't succeed, don't take up sky diving.

If you ever have a chance in life to not be a dick, take that chance.

@Hailtomyteeth

Always speak with the spirits of a house before you buy it. Explain your intentions, reassure them you mean no harm, and tell them firmly to make any objections known right at that moment, because you don't expect to hear from them later.

I love this

Never take a tampon out before checking you’ve got another one in your handbag. (I mean, when we can all go places again).

If you lose something, ask St Anthony to find it for you.
Tony Tony look around, there's something lost that must be found...
Works like a charm (most of the time)!

He answers to Tony!? I always assumed a saint would be more formal than that

“You get what you think you deserve”. The wisdom of my wonderful mother. Make sure you always remember that you deserve the best.

Make sure your cat is a different colour to your carpet

😂 brilliant advice

You can't please all the people all the time.

Rather fond of your parents? Or a spouse? Get them to grant you Lasting Power of Attorney in Health and Welfare AND Finance while they still can.

Failure to do so means that at a later date, should they deemed to have lost mental capacity (a very vague area), you will NOT be the decision maker for their care even if the family is self-funding. The State and its operatives (arrogant hospital consultants, corrupt social workers, ou name it) will be and your elderly parents' deaths save them money. You won't even be able to read their medical notes, it's all secret from you.

LPA can't be got retrospectively. It's like Travel Insurance - if you have it and you don't need it, fine. If you need it and you don't have it, you are totally stuffed.
It costs about £80, signatures in the right order, download the form from a Govt website.

You don't need to buy fancy descalers. Cheap vinegar works really well.

Sainsbury's version of Marmite is nicer than Marmite. They call it reduced salt, which seems to mean less salty and more umami-y

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

When helping your children with their badge work for Rainbows/Beavers/Brownies/Cubs... Remember who has to see the blasted things onto the uniform.

That is what super glue is for.