Advice please! More random the better

[HeidiHoNeighbour]

I’m bored and waiting for a delivery

Give me some advice on anything and everything.
Please so bored....

Eat chocolate covered digestives with them upsidedown because then the chocolate will hit your tongue and they will taste better.

Put a drop of lavender in your milk and leave town with an orange.

If you want to make cheap wine taste better blend it in a blender for 30 seconds.

Lefty loosey, righty tighty.

If you ever have a problem you don’t know the solution to, leave a pen and a piece of paper out over night in the hope that God will write down what you should do.

I got this off Father Ted. It has never let me down yet. (Oh, hang on.....)

@AcornAutumn

Put a drop of lavender in your milk and leave town with an orange.

Do not swallow the Little Book of Calm, it may be fatal

When wiring a plug,
The BLue wire goes Bottom Left (Neutral)
The BRown wire goes Bottom Right (Live)
The other wire (usually stripy) goes in the middle. (Earth)

10 mins of effort the night before is worth 1 hour in the morning.

Eat chocolate covered digestives with them upsidedown because then the chocolate will hit your tongue and they will taste better

They make double sided ones now! I tell Ya! .

Try not to think. Feel good about not thinking. Track your inhaling and exhaling and let your muscles relax.

You cannot fall off the floor.

Happy thoughts and relaxing do not get you pregnant. When in doubt, get both of you tested and as early as possible.

Don't underestimate the power of a good haircut.

Alway coat baked potatoes in oil and salt before putting in the oven.

Before or after Covid times and SD...

When travelling by train, carefully place 4 sheets of loo paper on the seat next you. Dangle a piece of string from the side of your mouth.
Guarantees that no one sits next to you for the entire journey!

Contact lenses:

BLue lid is for left
Whitey Righty

Done me 25 years that has.

Keep dry and away from children.

A teaspoon at the back of the Tommie tippee prises the lid off easily with less swearing that usual.

These are all great, thank you all!

just done is better than perfect

You have to go all the way back to Westham for a diagonal counter rabbit.

@MrsMoastyToasty

You cannot fall off the floor.

Oh I beg to differ. I am the woman that broke her foot and ended up in A&E with a bad knee, both times after falling off the soles off my flat shoes

Never pay attention to anyone on Mumsnet on a food or weight related thread.

There's a lot of messed up thinking going on.

@Hailtomyteeth lovely advice, 👏

Thread Brussel sprouts onto string for edible, festive decorations at Christmas.

@DioneTheDiabolist that's tickled me for some reason 😆

Look after your teeth.