Advice please! More random the better

[HeidiHoNeighbour]

I’m bored and waiting for a delivery

Give me some advice on anything and everything.
Please so bored....

If you ever rehome a horse op never reply to a previous owner...

Turn it off and on again

'Having your cake and eating it' is exactly what you're supposed to do with cake

We covet what we see, so close your damn shutters when turning on the lights in the evening or Hannibal Lecter and/or his minions will come coveting. [boooo]

@Beetlewing

I beg to differ. One must choose whether one wishes to have the cake or eat it as after one chomps the thing down one no longer has it.

[wise]

@beetlewing ah yes, but once you eat the cake you can't also have it too. You either 'have' or 'keep' it OR you eat it. That's what that expression means.

A better way to look at it is 'you can't have your savings and spend them too', as in, you can either save your money or spend it but once it's spent you can't then also save it too.

Don't eat yellow snow.

If you're no good at eating your 5-a-day, make it the focus. Pick a fruit or vegetable and build the rest of your meal round that. 3 meals a day. Add a glass of fruit juice daily which counts as another one of your 5-a-day. Eat an apple after your main meal because the acids in it help clean your teeth. That's your 5 done.

Buy 3 cakes.

Cancel the cheque.

Never type "G-o-O-g-L-e" into the Google search box or your screen will crackle and go green.

If you're raising the car park barrier by hand and it starts to fall again, don't try grabbing the wrong part. Move out of the way and let it go. It's painful otherwise.

@Easterbunnygettingready , I need t find that thread again , I def would not .

If you are using a oil based pain to decorate , you can wrap your brush / roller tightly in a plastic bag and it will not dry out for 2 or 3 days saves a lot of washing paint out with turps .
If you do have to use turps have one container with brand new turps in , one container with used turps and a third container to pour the settled turps into leaving the paint behind in the 2nd container you will get much more use out of your turps then .
and any old cheap turps will do the same job as the expensive stuff .

When wallpapering measure twice before cutting to avoid fucking expensive annoying mistakes

Spend good money on shoes and mattreses, if you're not in one you're in the other

oh i never even thought of that , I worked at a stables and something similar happened >>>> dashes off to hunt for thread

Follow your bliss.

If you doubt a relationship ask yourself ' do they wish the best for me'.

Stop hiccups by drinking through a straw with your ears blocked.

Get water out of your ear with a twirled up piece of tissue. Gently wiggle it into the ear and it soaks up the water.

Use the back of a spoon under the lid to break the seal on a jar that can't be opened.
That my wisdom for now.

To get the job at interview: beforehand decide a strength you want to promote (e.g. I’m good at running after school clubs) and when they say do you have any questions at the end, work your strength into a question (e.g. what after school clubs do you offer because I’m great at....). Got me a few jobs that one!

Every time you wash your face, also wash your ears. Other people see your ears a lot more than you do and dirty ears are not a good look.

Unrelated! Unless you want to become attached to someone, never have sex without a condom. Science.

Be kind to those on the way up, you might meet them on the way down.

When carrying home a tin of tartan paint hold it very steadily so as not to mix those colours and spoil it!

Try not to marry an arsehole.

@Wendyhause,
you are not wrong , it looks great when it goes on without been shaken or stirred