I know we all love a Chester drawers, but I have one better

[FelicityBeedle]

Introducing the fabulous new piece of furniture, the shezlon!

When ds1 was little. He wrote about a fya enjin. Everyone but me was scratching their heads.

"Portion of shew myes" - DD (then 11) writing out the list for our Chinese take away.

Rosemary beads (former workmate)

Butter cue (my great aunty pronouncing boutique)

A couple have really got me. “Ceiling pedant”.

When I was a kid, I wrote about a building, which was an isaur.

The English language in many ways is simple to learn. Shame spelling is so tricky.

This thread has provided some light relief - blatant place marking 🎯

@Gwegowygwiggs

"CHUBBY CHEEK" furniture

Belter!

My late MIL wore a lovely 'fornicator' at her Godson's wedding.

Some of these have given me a good giggle this morning.

I have seen a few of some mentioned, I don't live in UK and some of these are posted by someone whose first language is not English. Sleepers for slippers for example is quite common. A dressing gown will be an overcoat etc.

Also, quite a few ads for "Watch for sale", and then the picture is of a clock. In these cases, it will be that they have used a direct translation.

The one that sticks with me though is a really bad misheard song lyric. Its the song "All about that bass", the lady in front of me in the bank queue was singing along quite merrily "Its all about the paste, the paste no trouble..."

So that is how I sing along to it now

A woman in front of me in a sandwich shop ordered a ham and cheese punani

I am still laughing at this one though....

@Mamanyt

My two favorites to date are my former manager's "crotch pot" (you better believe I did not take her up on her offer of "beans that cooked all night in the crotch pot'), and an advertisement for a mountain home for sale due to divorce that stated, "Huge dick for entertaining." And I thought, "Damn...he really DID lose everything in that divorce!"

Don’t get the house one....

@ememem84 deck?

For those complaining about this thread - I spent a fun filled four months studying this at post grad level. It is both entertaining and educational.

I could bore you about analysing which dialect is most likely to produce which error but well, you already aren’t enjoying the thread so I won’t.

But suffice it to say most examples on this thread are from native English speakers.

@catsatonmymat

I nearly bought an item entitled Shabby Sheikh but decided against - I had nowhere to put him and it might just have caused problrms.

Brilliant. Thanks for the laughs.

I've just read through the other thread, what I find baffling is they're complaining about us mocking the use of other's mistakes, whilst using language that the people making the mistakes would never use.

If you're going to complain and be offended then surely you should be using very simple language that's easily understood and commonplace.

What I don't understand is that if you are preparing an advertisement to sell something and are not sure of the spelling, why wouldn't you either ask someone or check it online before publishing? Smacks of laziness to me!

I’ve seen on a shops front sign

Chasterdrow
Walldrow

@isthismylifenow Check this version out. Love this guy (lived in the ME a few years) and listened to this a lot after that song came out:

www.google.com/search?q=all+about+the+paste&rlz=1C1CHBF_en-GBGB894GB894&oq=all+about+the+paste&aqs=chrome..69i57j46j0i22i30l3j0i10i22i30j0i22i30l2j0i22i30i457j0i22i30.9823j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

@DifficultBloodyWoman

For those complaining about this thread - I spent a fun filled four months studying this at post grad level. It is both entertaining and educational.

I could bore you about analysing which dialect is most likely to produce which error but well, you already aren’t enjoying the thread so I won’t.

But suffice it to say most examples on this thread are from native English speakers.

More details please!!!!!! That sounds interesting. Who are these 'native speakers'? Are they just lazy like so many on here seem to think? Or are people in this thread mocking people who genuinely struggle with spelling?

[quote Acinonyx2]@isthismylifenow Check this version out. Love this guy (lived in the ME a few years) and listened to this a lot after that song came out:

www.google.com/search?q=all+about+the+paste&rlz=1C1CHBF_en-GBGB894GB894&oq=all+about+the+paste&aqs=chrome..69i57j46j0i22i30l3j0i10i22i30j0i22i30l2j0i22i30i457j0i22i30.9823j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8[/quote]

Guess what I have stuck in my head now......

@DifficultBloodyWoman I’m intrigued! That sounds really interesting.

Re song lyrics my mum always thought it was “cherry pie cherry pie no he can’t read my poker face”

my friend had to go to a&e after she cut her hand on a segregated knife, she also had to have a new alcartraz on her kitchen door because the dog chewed it.

I told my dh that when we have a new oven I want a prophilactic one as I like the idea of it cleaning its self (no I have never lived it down)

I knew of someone who needed new flooring because their carpets were ‘Fred bear’. I kid you not. Written down in an application form.

I was in tears for about 5 minutes last night from “ham and cheese punani”

Mustard mitt is brilliant!

My father was a doctor and used to come home with some good ones! My favourite was an 'apoplectic' pregnancy, and of course the good old 'prostrate'!

@MagicSummer the nurse who did my smear test recently said that someone enquired about their HGV results.

[quote goldielockdown2 ]Chihuahua [/quote]
Ahhh chewrwarwer = chihuahua! Thank you