Male performative cooking, it’s a thing isn’t it?

[Beeth0ven]

Characterised by:

Weekly cadence
Complex recipes (often involving trips to specialist shops to source)
While day needed (or substantial park of the day) to cook
Low engagement with wider family during process
No expectation of clearing up afterwards, despite WILD amount of mess

Has anyone else observed this? Has it been widely discussed on here?

@elephantoverthehill

Just remembered, a very long time ago exdh was cooking dinner, his Mum rang (land line) and asked a very simple question such as 'are you coming for dinner on Sunday?' I relayed the question to him and he replied 'I can't answer questions now, I am making a roux'

😂😂😂😂😂

Fucking hell what a twat.

Omg I've found my people.
I'm lol at prep bowls 😂
My DH loves cooking (and is very good at it )but I sometimes think in his head he is a tv chef - I mean you never see the minions or unpaid interns that do all the clearing up and washing up on tv, do you...?
At least there are warning signs. Putting an apron on means that hes defo going to be in the kitchen for days hours, and use 90% of pans, bowls and utensils.
He gets ingredients out and leaves out on the side sometimes for days and uses at least 50% more utensils and bowls than I would for the same thing.

'I can't answer questions now, I am making a roux'

Ahahahaha. That's brilliant!

My DH spends the first half hour choosing what music to play while he’s cooking....

@elephantoverthehill

Just remembered, a very long time ago exdh was cooking dinner, his Mum rang (land line) and asked a very simple question such as 'are you coming for dinner on Sunday?' I relayed the question to him and he replied 'I can't answer questions now, I am making a roux'

And we have a winner 🏆

@MyBoysHaveDogsNames

What about salt sprinkled from a pointlessly high angle? Sometimes a tea towel is even used as s bandana!

And in 2nd place 🏆

Haven’t RTFT

Yes. My granddad did it on a Sunday and we were banned from the kitchen.

Ex DP did it repeatedly.

Friends husband does it now.

With all of them it’s was over indulgent expensive food. Never beans on toast or something like that.

It's a grown-up version of, 'Look what I've done Mummy, aren't I clever boy?' Women just get on with it without needing a round of applause.

Yes!
Those prep bowls And then the washing up that is 'left to soak' or rather, to stain the washing up bowl in a nice, greasy orange colour.
We also don't eat until gone 9:00 sometimes which is so fun!

This also leads to them standing in the kitchen making 'useful' comments about a meal you have made 1000 times before.

@Rach247

My DH spends the first half hour choosing what music to play while he’s cooking....

Yes - same as mine!

@Reallybadidea

Grinding pepper with the pepper mill at an angle and wearing a look of intense concentration is the hallmark of a kitchen wanker.

Is it one of those long ones they have in Italian restaurants?

@Rach247 @scaredsadandstuck there is a 'Saturday night' playlist on our Alexa for performative cooking sessions. I know.

DH is today making pancakes. It’s been an hour so far, and he’s just popped out of the kitchen to declare that the batter now needs to rest for an hour.

Is it one of those long ones they have in Italian restaurants?

Ha! He'd love it to be, I'm sure

Definitely not a thing here. I do prefer to do most of the cooking because it's how I relax, but dh cooks, he just gets on with cooking. If there is anyone going to specialist shops, it's definitely me.

DH did impress the midwives at our home birth when, after I’d given birth at 8am, he offered everyone a bacon sandwich using the homemade bread he had made while I was in labour.

@Dailyhandtowelwash

DH did impress the midwives at our home birth when, after I’d given birth at 8am, he offered everyone a bacon sandwich using the homemade bread he had made while I was in labour.

NO! What a twat

Ah, no, the labour went on for three days and he only really got a break from supporting me when the very nice midwives arrived and got me high on gas and air.

yes it's called my Saturday night

and also using as many chopping boards as poss

I also think performative shopping segues with this

Ooooh let’s hear about performative shopping.

Does it involve a 1 hour queue at an artisan butcher?

This also leads to them standing in the kitchen making 'useful' comments about a meal you have made 1000 times before.

Despite the fact that I cook on a very regular basis, DH always has to faff about with slightly alter the gas level while I am cooking, or give something a stir, sprinkle a bit of salt into it etc. I think he just does it to annoy me now! 😂

Yep, once every two months or so. A feature here is the use of the possessive - so "my" persian chicken, or "my" lentil dahl or "my" chicken soup. Totally recognising the complex list of ingredients, the "where do we keep the ...?" the offer to cook for guest (until 30 minutes before we're due to serve and nothing's ready except the element that must be done at the last minute). At which point it has to be rescued, but all credit must go to MPC. I occasionally try to save myself the stress by casually asking , "Oh how much longer for the fish?" - answer usually "I'm not sure (accompanied by a bead of sweat). "What time did you put it in?" (More sweat).
"So what do you all think of "my" persian blah blah blah? It's really good isn't it", followed by a blow by blow account of the recipe...