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Original poster

Worst Mother's Day gift ever :(

360 replies

Molly1989 · 14/03/2021 08:09

So after being up every hour with DS last night including being peed on at 3am, and just having had my first shower in four days, DH presents me with my Mother's Day gift. A toilet roll holder. I want to cry. He said I didn't tell him what I wanted, but I did repeatedly, and even if I hadn't, a toilet roll holder? Meh. Anyone else care to join me in solidarity?

OP posts:
Chewingle · 14/03/2021 11:23

Not keychain chance of anyone agreeing with me in this thread! Grin

Chewingle · 14/03/2021 11:24

Key chain should read “much”!

CheltenhamLady · 14/03/2021 11:29

I think this thread epitomes the saying 'you are treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. Honestly, this is unacceptable. If he can't be relied upon to show that you are valued and loved that is a real issue. If he is just crap at thinking of suitable gifts, see below.

Take matters into your own hands and set up a wish list on Amazon entitled Birthday/Mother's Day/Christmas gifts. Keep it updated and allow him access to it or send him the link before each of the events.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Events & celebrations
CheltenhamLady · 14/03/2021 11:29
  • epitomises
Welikebeingcosy · 14/03/2021 11:31

I think days like today really highlight how valued we are the rest of the days of the year and by whom...

thosetalesofunexpected · 14/03/2021 11:33

The lack of thought behind gift
is obviously symbolic of your relantship and reflects what he feels about you

In a but shell

He is a misogynyistic (who expects his woman to know her place,
be like as his wife
More akin as psudeo mother figure,who will provide as much emotional comfort and support,
Plus the bonus of having his basic instinct provided as much as required congintal rights sex,
to keep this extremly emotionally unsatisfying toxic unbalanced to the extreme so called relantship going !

Oh and obviously he knows for free he will have all his clothes washing and household done too,
By the magic wonderful earth planet sort of fairy sprite ,
his wife !

Oceanbliss · 14/03/2021 11:37

@Molly1989FlowersFlowersFlowersFlowers you deserve so much better than this. Because of pp I just went and read your other post. You really do deserve better. No one deserves what you have described.

Original poster
Molly1989 · 14/03/2021 11:37

I'm not really bothered about the lack of material gift, it's more the fact that he asked me what I want and I said initially not to worry and just to get me a bunch of flowers (to which he responded "where am I supposed to get flowers from?" Hmm) but he insisted I let him know what I'd like. What's even stranger is that he ordered the toilet roll holder using Amazon Prime, so it's not as if he stumbled across it in a shop. We have needed one for a while, but I just feel hurt that he considered it an acceptable Mother's Day present.

And yes, I'm aware I've been an enabler and need to work on my self esteem and respect, and eventually find the courage to leave.

OP posts:
cerealgamechanger · 14/03/2021 11:39

That is a shit present. Sorry OP.

Mine a couple of years ago bought me a set of kitchen knives and a bed sheet. Eejit. I got flowers and a card today which I'm chuffed with.

Fembot123 · 14/03/2021 11:42

@Chewingle

Key chain should read “much”!
I do see what you mean. My DS bought me a Mother’s Day present for school (I gave him the money) he made a card there but has misplaced it, he was upset about that so I consoled him obviously I’d love to have it but the thought was there and I’d hate to upset him. My DDs on the other hand, one of them didn’t even say Happy Mother’s Day, I’m not going to lie and say that didn’t hurt but kids can be thoughtless. As for not getting flowers etc, I don’t care about that. I know a mum who lost her 9 year old a few months ago and two family members lost adult children recently too so I focus on how lucky I really am. OP there is no way DS shouldn’t be minding the kids whilst you take a shower, give it to him straight.
willibald · 14/03/2021 11:46

@CatBiscuits

Stop minimising his shitty and uncaring behaviour

A bit crap generally??

No - he's uncaring and unhelpful and needs to start pulling his weight- he's in the shower but you haven't had one for 4 days??

This.
Allgirlskidsanddogs · 14/03/2021 11:46

Loo brush for Father’s Day and then loo rolls for his birthday! You could keep this going for a while, with different numbers of loo rolls depending on the significance!!

willibald · 14/03/2021 11:48

He's a thunder cunt. He's not 'a bit crap'. You know he's a total dickhead.

willibald · 14/03/2021 11:49

Fuck giving him a loo brush or toilet roll for Father's Day. Give him a divorce. In the meantime, stop fucking cooking breakfast for him or going days with no shower because he won't parent his own child.

DenisetheMenace · 14/03/2021 11:49

Just, why? Why would anybody think of that?

Went into Aldi last night behind 3 young boys, one was crestfallen when he go to the empty flower rack.

Passed them again a couple of minutes later in the veg aisle and heard one of them say “can’t you just get her some carrots or something?) 🤣

SparkyBlue · 14/03/2021 11:50

I got a bottle of expensive fancy hand sanitizer. To be fair DH said that eight year old DD chose it and was very enthusiastic about wanting to get it for me . In his defence he added on a body lotion and chocolates as well but I got a giggle at the hand sanitizer.

willibald · 14/03/2021 11:55

@DenisetheMenace

Just, why? Why would anybody think of that?

Went into Aldi last night behind 3 young boys, one was crestfallen when he go to the empty flower rack.

Passed them again a couple of minutes later in the veg aisle and heard one of them say “can’t you just get her some carrots or something?) 🤣

It's the equivalent of a dog shitting on something they know the owner values as punishment. It's a giant 'fuck you and Mother's Day' in the same way the rest of his behaviour shows. These things are rarely in a vacuum.
StopSearching · 14/03/2021 12:00

It sounds like you enable him though. Not having a shower for 4 days, cooking breakfast for everyone on mothers day, etc. You need to value yourself more. There's no point trying to score points with shit presents. That isn't going to make you happy.

VanillaIce · 14/03/2021 12:02

I got three Toblerones, grabbed in a service station, one from each of my children.

I don’t much like Toblerone. DH does Hmm

He’s a good man, but Mother’s Day just doesn’t seem to mean anything to him 🤷‍♀️

starfishmummy · 14/03/2021 12:05

@Twistiesandshout

Fucking hell, he definitely gets toilet paper (a single roll) for fathers day. That is shit OP.
Is "hard" toilet paper (Izal) still available?
MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 14/03/2021 12:06

@Molly1989

I'm not really bothered about the lack of material gift, it's more the fact that he asked me what I want and I said initially not to worry and just to get me a bunch of flowers (to which he responded "where am I supposed to get flowers from?" Hmm) but he insisted I let him know what I'd like. What's even stranger is that he ordered the toilet roll holder using Amazon Prime, so it's not as if he stumbled across it in a shop. We have needed one for a while, but I just feel hurt that he considered it an acceptable Mother's Day present.

And yes, I'm aware I've been an enabler and need to work on my self esteem and respect, and eventually find the courage to leave.

Well at least you have realised that you are enabling his shitty behaviour

Things will only change when YOU make them change

If you don't want to be a doormat and treated like shut then you will need to take steps towards stopping this behaviour.

He won't change - why would he? You rewarded his thoughtlessness and insensitivity by cooking him breakfast.

Do something about it ffs

alloverthecarpetagain · 14/03/2021 12:06

You see, if this was something in isolation and he is otherwise a lovely chap, I could find this amusing as it might just show that he spotted something that you needed in the house and thought that seemed a good idea as a present. Being practical, not wanting to waste money, etc. It's a rubbish present, but it was meant with the best of intentions, sort of thing. This could then be built on in coming years, made into a big joke to be retold forever. My dh once bought me a chip pan, I bought him a food mixer - it was all good fun. What's different here is that this is part of a pattern of not caring, not pulling his weight and not thinking about you at all, so it isn't at all acceptable and I'm pleased you say that you are hoping to find the courage to leave. I hope this thread will help you.

CharityDingle · 14/03/2021 12:08

How did you respond, OP?
'Thanks so much, just what I always wanted'? Hmm

Wingingit15 · 14/03/2021 12:09

Single parent here. Get nothing and no recognition !

BrutusMcDogface · 14/03/2021 12:10

@Snowpatrolling - that’s unacceptable behaviour, too! I’m not sure if you’re joking and she gave you the £20 back? I wouldn’t stand for this otherwise! Taking your money and giving you a bottle of washing up liquid is just as bad as the toilet roll holder in terms of a complete lack of respect.

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