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Original poster

Worst Mother's Day gift ever :(

360 replies

Molly1989 · 14/03/2021 08:09

So after being up every hour with DS last night including being peed on at 3am, and just having had my first shower in four days, DH presents me with my Mother's Day gift. A toilet roll holder. I want to cry. He said I didn't tell him what I wanted, but I did repeatedly, and even if I hadn't, a toilet roll holder? Meh. Anyone else care to join me in solidarity?

OP posts:
DicklessWonder · 14/03/2021 10:10

Things were bad a month ago and clearly no better now.

Have you actually done anything to invoke change? If you keep doing what you’ve always done, don’t be surprised when you get what you’ve always got.

OhCaptain · 14/03/2021 10:11

@itsgettingwierd

Oh captain don't be judgemental. I don't don't want a medal. My partner use to buy me the most loveliest gifts of flowers etc. I thought it was generous. Until I discovered it was always after he cheated.

So for me personally - material things don't matter. I'd prefer a partner who respected me everyday day.

But I didn't get that. I got to raise a disabled child alone for the past 15 years. And I still don't need gifts. I get what I need in what matters to me - love and respect.

Why do people roll their eyes at people who don't care about a gift?

I roll my eyes because you’ve come on to the thread to point out how little you care about material gifts. So? What has that got to do with the OP who is upset about it?

You’re not morally superior because you don’t want flowers on Mother’s Day.

Millions of women get presents, and not because their OHs are all out cheating. Hmm

As for the love and respect thing. Spare me!

You know people can get love, respect, AND presents?

Your hang-ups are not OP’s problem.

DavidsSchitt · 14/03/2021 10:17

"So for me personally - material things don't matter. I'd prefer a partner who respected me everyday day"

Right, good for you. What has that got to do with the OP?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Events & celebrations
Wondermule · 14/03/2021 10:19

Honestly the number of ‘crap men’ threads where women enable their rubbish husbands then use MN as a sounding board, makes me want to scream.

You can’t be that complicit in your own misfortunes and expect sympathy.

Either read him the riot act (and stick to it) or dump him.

tara66 · 14/03/2021 10:23

They're completely passe now and always were very Hyacinth Bucket!

thetemptationofchocolate · 14/03/2021 10:24

Toilet roll for his birthday - excellent idea! I'm wondering if Izal is still sold these days, that would be perfect for him.

PADH · 14/03/2021 10:27

I mean there's a whole ailse in most supermarkets currently full of generic mothers day stuff if he was that stuck... how on earth did he land on a toilet roll holder??

Eckhart · 14/03/2021 10:29

@Wondermule

Honestly the number of ‘crap men’ threads where women enable their rubbish husbands then use MN as a sounding board, makes me want to scream.

You can’t be that complicit in your own misfortunes and expect sympathy.

Either read him the riot act (and stick to it) or dump him.

This. Do people really live their lives in these petty, tit-for-tat ways, without realising they could actually deal with their problems and find a way to be happy?
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 14/03/2021 10:30

Picture or it didn’t happen 😬
Was it wrapped?! Flowers

ivfbeenbusy · 14/03/2021 10:33

I'd be putting it to good use and inserting it where the sun doesn't shine - that'll be the last time he buys such a shit present

Annasgirl · 14/03/2021 10:34

OP, your posts are really worrying. This man is no partner. Why are you doing it all? I know this was said in a light hearted jokey way, but this is not ok.

You need to seek help and if your partner won’t help with your child, you need to get support to move on. Honestly, you haven’t showered in 4 days, you hit up after no sleep, cooked breakfast and then he went for a shower 🙁

CuteBear · 14/03/2021 10:34

@wintertime6

No gifts here, not even a bunch of supermarket flowers. DH said he'd make me lunch, maybe I'm being a bit ungrateful but I don't think a few sandwiches and a cup of tea really shows that you've made an effort. Feeling a bit underwhelmed and trying to stay off Facebook to avoid seeing pictures of all the mummies getting breakfast in bed, gorgeous bouquets of flowers and thoughtful gifts.
Those “Facebook mummies” probably organised the day and told their DH and DC what to do. You got flowers, lunch and presumably a card too. I think you sound ungrateful.
missbridgerton · 14/03/2021 10:35

So you now know how little he thinks of you.

CuteBear · 14/03/2021 10:35

@wintertime6 sorry, read that wrong. You didn’t have flowers, but did you get a card? I think lunch is a nice idea, especially if he’s making you your favourite meal.

Maggie900 · 14/03/2021 10:35

When the children get older the presents get better!

They don’t allow dads to be as shit!
I’m pretty easy to buy for though. I love slippers and dressing gowns and Bailey’s. I’m constantly on a diet so no chocolate!

I have a baby this year and have insisted DH feeds him at every meal time because I hate doing it. I also made him take him to Tesco. This wasn’t done off his own back, I told him it was happening!

Bluntness100 · 14/03/2021 10:36

Have you been telling him you really want a toilet roll holder, and maybe he’s a bit thick and though it would be a great present, cos you want one?

FinallyFluid · 14/03/2021 10:37

@Molly1989

So after being up every hour with DS last night including being peed on at 3am, and just having had my first shower in four days, DH presents me with my Mother's Day gift. A toilet roll holder. I want to cry. He said I didn't tell him what I wanted, but I did repeatedly, and even if I hadn't, a toilet roll holder? Meh. Anyone else care to join me in solidarity?
Stop being such a martyr.
Splicedbananas · 14/03/2021 10:37

I think this too. You set the status quo and expectations as much as he does. You have to have a proper discussion and set out your needs. You are just rolling over and taking it by cooking breakfast. I don’t understand why so many women aren’t assertive and put up with crap ( my mum also just liked to keep the peace) It just makes for a miserable life

Do you think men like this really listen? I've been in this situation and they don't, they just turn it round to you and accuse you of being a nag or other sins until you get worn down. Maybe it's true that OP has been brought up not to think of herself first (or at all) and that compounds it. It does in time ruin the love and respect you have for the men too.

People who say, I just don't know why someone doesn't stand up for themselves just don't get it. Although it is the best way, it's something that people learn to do in healthy families or because someone supports them in being assertive.

listsandbudgets · 14/03/2021 10:39

Better get him some toilet rolls to go on it for Fathers day

HTH1 · 14/03/2021 10:40

I agree, we shouldn’t really care about such things but we actually really do (or at least OP and I do).

You need to train him, OP. I was unimpressed with my Valentine’s Day last minute cheapo flowers which literally took DH around 2/3 hours to buy after he had selfishly been out all day and left me with the kids to look after (a one-off, I should add).

I made my feelings on the subject very clear and sent him straight out again with strict instructions not to come home without a decent gift (which he did 😍). This morning, the kids presented me with a huge bouquet (roses etc from a proper florist), posh gin and a large bottle of the perfume I requested (plus I had already treated myself to a massive box of Leonidas so told DH not to buy more chocolates). He also offered to run me a bath and has been making me tea (though, tbf, he does bring me tea in bed every morning). He would never get away with trying to make me to do the cleaning etc but husbands do have to be trained as they just don’t think otherwise Flowers

DavidsSchitt · 14/03/2021 10:40

"Have you been telling him you really want a toilet roll holder, and maybe he’s a bit thick and though it would be a great present, cos you want one?"

Really? The OP hasn't had a shower in 4 days and this is what jumps out at some posters? Confused Bizarre.

Phoenixdays · 14/03/2021 10:41

@Splicedbananas

I think this too. You set the status quo and expectations as much as he does. You have to have a proper discussion and set out your needs. You are just rolling over and taking it by cooking breakfast. I don’t understand why so many women aren’t assertive and put up with crap ( my mum also just liked to keep the peace) It just makes for a miserable life

Do you think men like this really listen? I've been in this situation and they don't, they just turn it round to you and accuse you of being a nag or other sins until you get worn down. Maybe it's true that OP has been brought up not to think of herself first (or at all) and that compounds it. It does in time ruin the love and respect you have for the men too.

People who say, I just don't know why someone doesn't stand up for themselves just don't get it. Although it is the best way, it's something that people learn to do in healthy families or because someone supports them in being assertive.

If she’s mentioned it before and had the discussion then yeah if he doesn’t change fair enough - leave or stop complaining about it as you’ve accepted it. However, it seems she may be one of the non confrontational types ( my mum and friend are) that rather tell everyone else and the guy is clueless. If that’s the case - the best starting point is an actual conversation! My dh was actually a bit rubbish when we started dating, it took a conversation of expectations for special days to change his behaviour and it has changed. I’m afraid women who moan and do nothing get on my nerves. Just speak up or go
annonnymous · 14/03/2021 10:48

If you get DH a toilet brush for fathers day, please don't shove it where the sun don't shine.

VonWeasel · 14/03/2021 10:48

That's pants and I totally get it. Bog brush for father's day is genius!!!

First mother's day here too. OH dashed to the shops last night and returned in a bad mood. Then popped out to the local shop this morning before returning home empty handed. I was given two yellow orchids as I was saying I would love a bright pink one (!) and have been told I can have my card later. I asked if this is because they had sold out and it's a Christmas card!!! On the plus side, at least the lady at the check out pointed out that the hanging basket he was about to buy me was full of plastic flowers Hmm

Franklyfrost · 14/03/2021 10:50

A toilet roll holder? This cannot be true. Maybe it’s a sex toy? Would that be better or worst?