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Original poster

Mother’s Day- do your teens bother?

142 replies

Howmanysleepsnow · 13/03/2021 18:43

DH is furious at DD13 and DS15. They just got home from 2 nights at their DF’s and he asked what they’d got me (he’d reminded both previously).
DD ordered something online yesterday... to be delivered to her DF’s tomorrow so it won’t be here.
DS didn’t get me anything. This is the 3rd year running and every year DH is cross about it. The tension makes for an unpleasant day.
I kind of think DH expects me to tell them off, but I don’t want a card/ present out of a sense of duty/ guilt. If they wanted to treat me/ let me know they appreciate me that’s different but I’m not going to insist. So now DH is angry at them, they’ve gone to their rooms and tomorrow is going to be uncomfortable. Again. Why does Mother’s Day have to be about conflict/ guilt in this house?
Sorry for the self indulgent rant.
Does anyone else have similar?

OP posts:
megletsecond · 13/03/2021 19:42

Your dh is making a drama out of it.

My 14yr old will probably make me a card. 12yr old won't do anything.

Moonface123 · 13/03/2021 19:46

My eldest son 19 has given me some lovely gifts today including a hooded blanket and garden ornament, His girlfriend sent me a delivery of Bloom and Wild flowers,.so that was a lovely surprise. My youngest ages 15 has wrote out a card that l am saving until tomorrow and usually makes me toast and coffee in bed. I am a single widowed parent , zero support, and they always make the effort.

Notaroadrunner · 13/03/2021 19:47

Dh has always sorted something. I have an older teen who probably won't have got anything, another teen who will at least have made a card. I got flowers from youngest today (courtesy of Dh.) Teens have never gone out and bought something themselves. They've been spoiled by Dh doing it. I don't really care as long as I get chocolate 😁

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hiredandsqueak · 13/03/2021 19:48

Mine do, I've seen Moonpig cards and other parcels arrive this week. Exh sends me flowers from the dc regardless, they came this morning. I'd be disappointed not to get a card.

Notaroadrunner · 13/03/2021 19:49

@Moonface123

My eldest son 19 has given me some lovely gifts today including a hooded blanket and garden ornament, His girlfriend sent me a delivery of Bloom and Wild flowers,.so that was a lovely surprise. My youngest ages 15 has wrote out a card that l am saving until tomorrow and usually makes me toast and coffee in bed. I am a single widowed parent , zero support, and they always make the effort.
They sound like wonderful children - they are a credit to you.
Strongswans · 13/03/2021 19:50

DS 15 has made me a card, he always makes them which is lovely. He also rang my mum a while ago to tell her what he wants to buy and she sorts it.

Whatdoesitsayaboutyou · 13/03/2021 19:51

Mine always do something (often roping in grandparents but they are the ones to ask/decide I'm told). I'm a single parent with a teen and two preteens.
Teen has a part time job and has hinted about present/card. Dc is autistic and does these things because knows that it's what people do.
Preteens always make me a card and have had secret conversations with grandparents so I suspect they have organised something.
My youngest asked at tea what I would like for breakfast as would like to make me breakfast in bed.

Justgivemesomepeace · 13/03/2021 19:54

DD18 has just taken DS8 to morrisons and they have just come in and given me a box of fererro rocher and some plants in a basket. Im saving the card for tomorrow.

GetTheStartyParted · 13/03/2021 19:55

DH and the 12yo ordered something yesterday so I am guessing that won't be here in time. The 25yo has got me something but I won't see her until she arrives arrives for work on Monday.

My 18yo is in the army and posted abroad at the moment so he hasn't got me anything. He messaged earlier but didn't acknowledge Mother's day so I'm assuming he's unaware.

Most years are different though, they are all usually here and treat me. I imagine that the 12yo will make me breakfast in the morning and hopefully a few cups of tea throughout the day Grin It is always nicer when they do it because they want to.

xyzandabc · 13/03/2021 19:58

Mine are 14, 12 and 8. Have been with DH over 20 years. Last year I don't think anyone in the house even knew it was mother's Day, except me. The 8 yr old produced a card made at school from his bag about 2 weeks later that he'd forgotten to give me. I'm not sure how the kids would be expected to know it was mother's Day unless DH told them. If he did, the eldest 2 would be more than capable of going in to town and getting a card and box of chocolates, or could easily make a card and a cake.

I'm not expecting anything at all tomorrow. I do help them to do a little something for DH on Father's Day, don't know why I bother but it would just seems wrong to me if I didn't. Does make me a bit sad though.

I always send flowers, a card and phone my mum. I used to do flowers and organise the card for MIL as well but DH got cross about me doing that one year, as it should have been his decision whether he sent his mum flowers etc so I don't do that anymore. I feel sad for his mum too, I haven't mentioned it at all this year so don't know if she'll even get a phone call from dh. I might ask him if he's called her if it gets to the evening and he hasn't.

Original poster
Howmanysleepsnow · 13/03/2021 20:00

@Itstheprinciple

Also I'd be telling DH to wind his neck in and that he is ruining mother's day more than the kids with his sulking.
Yes, he knows... hence why he told me today rather than tomorrow apparently!
OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 13/03/2021 20:03

Yes my teen ordered me two lovely personalised items and card from etsy because she has wanted to support small businesses. We had to celebrate last Sunday.

MumofPsuedoAdult · 13/03/2021 20:05

Mother's Day has always been a stressful day (single parent of one teen DS) and this year I've decided that I'm not doing it. I haven't talked about it, he hasn't mentioned it and I'm not expecting it even to be recognised. I'll be happy once it's passed. It feels like too much pressure for everyone!

Kottbullar · 13/03/2021 20:05

My eldest is at university and has sent a card and had a FaceTime conversation with the other three DC about Mother's Day last week, I know because my youngest whispers like Homer Simpson Grin
Second born took the younger two for a walk shortly afterwards.

DH also made me wait outside Boots earlier, and there was more whispering and smirking from the younger two.

What I'd really like is someone to cook me a roast but I doubt it will happen!

theheartofthematter · 13/03/2021 20:06

I know my eldest hadn't got me anything. She is away at uni and was reminded today by her sister. She claims she has ordered something. I know that means she got the message, crapped herself and went on Amazon. It will probably be socks. She asked what I wanted for my birthday last year, I said sock so got 8 pairs for my birthday and 8 more for Christmas!

tunnocksreturns2019 · 13/03/2021 20:06

@Moonface123

My eldest son 19 has given me some lovely gifts today including a hooded blanket and garden ornament, His girlfriend sent me a delivery of Bloom and Wild flowers,.so that was a lovely surprise. My youngest ages 15 has wrote out a card that l am saving until tomorrow and usually makes me toast and coffee in bed. I am a single widowed parent , zero support, and they always make the effort.
This is so lovely. I’m a widowed parent too - DS (nearly 12) was busy in the kitchen today whilst he and the eldest DD from our bubble family made cakes for both us mums. I accidentally saw mine - DS has fashioned an entire chocolate orange into a rose on the top of the cake so I’m looking forward to that!! He has been super hard work during lockdown (ADHD) but he is a sweetie. DD made a lovely card at school Smile
Original poster
Howmanysleepsnow · 13/03/2021 20:07

Thing is,my ideal Mother’s Day would involve:
Someone who isn’t me getting up at 6.45 to let the puppy out.
Lots of hugs.
The dishwasher being done without me asking.
Possibly coffee or tea, possibly toast.
DC coming for a walk with me.
Flowers from the garden (we have daffodils)
A homemade card.
Someone else doing a household chore.
Them sorting their own lunch.
Dinner I don’t have to cook/ collect (I’ll pay!)
An hour long bath without interruption.
Although reading that back im asking a lot, presents don’t come into it.

OP posts:
PrintempsAhoy · 13/03/2021 20:11

I think your DH needs to back off. He’s not the children’s father, is he? Yet he creates tension between you and your kids. Just not on.

Is he generally an angry man? I can’t bear people who create “atmospheres “ myself.

He could either just take them to the shops tomorrow, or not get involved.

This is just an unnecessary unpleasant situation

Airyfairymarybeary · 13/03/2021 20:12

Why doesn’t your DH help them make a nice breakfast or bake a cake? It doesn’t have to be about gifts.

joysmoy66 · 13/03/2021 20:13

My eldest (nearly 16) organises the other two 14&9 but both asd so I get card/chocs/flowers and a cup of coffee in bed. She's very thoughtful and the other two love to be involved.

QuestionEverythingOrBeASheep · 13/03/2021 20:13

I never get anything because I want anything. I never wanted it to be about gifts but about the things you can't buy. So my just 14y old makes me breakfast and coffee, does the cleaning, the dishes, walks the dog and basically turns into a yes child for the day. It's my day and anything I request (within reason) has to be answered with a yes. So we usually do things together or watch movies or just request things we've never done together before. It always makes for a memorable day without any pressure from gifts or cards. I love it.

Airyfairymarybeary · 13/03/2021 20:14

Reading your reply’s is seems like you need a break and your family to help around the house more in general.
Stop being a doormat and share the load equally with your dh!

smellyolddog · 13/03/2021 20:15

I just said it's mother day next week I'd like a new houseplant to fit that pot!! So fingers crossed the direct approach worked..

user1493494961 · 13/03/2021 20:18

I think it's a bit poor if they don't bother.

Eve · 13/03/2021 20:18

Youngest DS at uni sent me some nice bottles of wine! Eldest DS also at uni will have forgotten! 😁

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