Just got my maintenance award for the year WHOOP WHOOP

[ThatWomanInTheDress]

£3.36 a week

No doubt like all of you I’ve daydreamed about what I would do if I hit the jackpot. But this type of money is mind blowing.

Can’t decide what I’m going to buy DD first. So excited!!

It’s a fucking disgrace. It’s one of the only things America does better I think.

NRP should be held to account - maintenance should be like council tax in that you can be taken to court for non-payment and there should be a minimum amount payable as well, in fact, council tax is probably a good way to decide that amount.

Absolute pigs.

My ex was told he should be paying £1.25 a week for two kids
He refused to pay a penny (I’ve had a full pound in 22 years)
He could afford his holidays and designer clothes etc though
He’d tell anyone who listened that he paid a fortune for his kids and I spent the whole lot on myself-I was chased down the street once and yelled at (by him and his latest shag) for buying myself new clothes/having my hair done/having my nails done ‘on him’ and that the money he did pay was for the kids and not me
Truth is-my clothes where from the charity shop,my hair cut by students at the college and I’d done my own nails that morning (I worked and have paid my own way since I was a teenager)
How the hell he sleeps on a night I do not know-my kids are adults and he still chases them screaming about how he coughed up hundreds of pounds a month but they didn’t benefit as I spent it all on me
Utter joke

The most disgusting thing about CMS is that when people suggest reasonable sanctions that they should be able to take they, the majority of the time, already have the power suggested. They just don’t bother.

For example they don’t even need a court order to take money, one off or otherwise, from a bank account

Why is this not a Mumsnet campaign? Politicians listen to Mumsnet (sometimes).
I agree about the US system. It seems to actually have teeth.

There should be a way that anyone not currently earning has to pay minimum amount of money from pension pot. I know not everyone has a pension, but some do and it might make them think twice. It is also the sort of asset they can't as easily transfer to someone else.

It's appalling how the NRPs can get away with financing their own children. There needs to be a series of documentaries where they're forced to cough up what they owe, a little bit like the cowboy builders show ( can't remember name sorry).
Someone get Anita Rani on the case I say.
Is there a way we can raise the issue in parliament I wonder.

I think I’d start with cancellation of driving license and passport, after all if they are that skint, they can’t afford a car or a holiday, so don’t need them.

Then I’d set a minimum amount needed to realistically support the child, the debt to be recorded and paid if the NRP ever received any funds, even if it’s 50 years later!

@RamblinRosie

I think I’d start with cancellation of driving license and passport, after all if they are that skint, they can’t afford a car or a holiday, so don’t need them.

Then I’d set a minimum amount needed to realistically support the child, the debt to be recorded and paid if the NRP ever received any funds, even if it’s 50 years later!

Nine times out of ten CMS won’t go down the driving license route as it affects employment opportunities (it’s one of the things they can apply to court for)

It’s all a load of shit.

I never went through the system as my ex decided to sell his business for cash and move to the USA when we split up so effectively making himself unemployed- although he tells everyone he’s “retired” (at 40) and basically lives a high life - he’s met and married a very high flying business woman who works very high up in a large company and they live in a $2 million house (I know because dd went there one year - in the 10 years he’s been there, he’s been back several times here to see his Mum and Dad so dd now aged 17 has kept contact). It’s such a joke as I’ve had to manage as a single parent on tax credits etc etc - until I met and married now dh- and ex has been living out in the USA telling everyone he’s such a successful businessman he’s retired early and having holidays to Mexico every 6 weeks. Lovely. #notbitteratall.

I think I’d start with cancellation of driving license and passport

That’s a good start. Would have to apply to both RP and NRP whichever wasn’t financially supporting the child themselves but letting others do it via taxes.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

I think I’d start with cancellation of driving license and passport

That’s a good start. Would have to apply to both RP and NRP whichever wasn’t financially supporting the child themselves but letting others do it via taxes.

Trying to make a NRP who chooses not to contribute toward their child, and is facilitated in this by the shit system, with a RP on benefits is massive whataboutery.

It also equates something that should b criminal with something done by people in difficult circumstances. Claiming benefits is not equal to criminal neglect.

We need Judge Judy! She really lays into NRPs who don't support their children, mainly fathers. Lockdown has opened up a new world of TV. Seriously, this subject needs a much higher profile.

That's such a life changing amount of money.. 🤣 It's almost insulting. I would rather nothing 😂

@justasyouare 5p🤣🤣🤣

*@ThatWomanInTheDress

Woah there! Don't go mad, that money will soon go you know!

CMS already has the power to take driving licences and passports. If you Google someone did a freedom of information request to see how many times they had actually used those powers in a year. It was ZERO. Not once.

I told the CMS when he sold his house exactly which day the money would be in his account and they could collect the debt. Literally told them the date. They tried to take it the day after instead when he’d already moved the money and his bank was empty. They then told me they can only try and take money once a year so I’d have to wait a year . The whole system is a joke. They don’t care, politicians don’t care, it is a stain on our nation

And what’s this little nugget “we take into account Mr Xxxxx’s £15000 additional income a year” on top of his benefits......?

Don’t forget the 17p they take each week from me as payment for having to collect that money in the first place.

I’m definitely going to buy lottery tickets, that is SUCH a good idea

Forgot pic

When I applied for CMS I sent them evidence that ex was working, they did nothing. Then when we were in family court he wrote a statement saying how he is much more of a better parent because he worked full time- at the time I was unemployed but had just finished with a horrible company who made me feel like shit, but as you can guess I still managed to feed and clothe DD. He declared he wasn't working- only his partner was and before court and supervised contact they would spend a fortune on DD for days out etc. I on the other hand couldn't afford such luxuries due to being a single parent. Then when I did meet someone and things were going well apparently I had Mr itsme to help me out. It was ongoing for 4 years and during that period I received £90 over 3 months. Last year when the ex died (alcohol related illnesses) and CMS sent me a letter I ripped it up. It's the lies that got me- he could afford to fund his addiction but not his child.

As PPs mention- neglect if we do it as resident parent but not if the non resident parent does. This system is disgusting.

@Doingitaloneandproud

That is ridiculous, I honestly cannot see how the non resident parent can get away with paying such a pitiful amount at times. They should pay properly towards the costs of a child they helped create.

Thats what DP's ex used as justification for stopping contact and moving away with her husband.

DP had £63 a week Carers' Allowance and nothing else. She expected me to make up the difference to what she felt would be 'paying properly'. Her required amount was more than I earned in a month.

My exh had a second job.. They truly requested I take photos of him at his place of work and send them to them.
He worked in a working men's club...
He paid a pittance for 3 x dc.

@LittleGreenGoblin

I've never understood why the RP has to foot the bill if the NRP is on a low income. Children need to be kept fed, clothed and warm regardless of the parents' income and if the RP did not do this, it would (rightly) be considered neglect.

They usually don’t, more often than not they are either partially of fully supported by benefits themselves.

I agree that it’s shit that parents don’t provide for the children they create, but if we go too far complaining about NRPs not paying for their children, then inevitably it will follow that there’s an expectation for RPs to pay for their children as well. And MN wouldn’t like that because apparently is enough for some parents just to look after their own children without taking any of the financial responsibility. They still get to be seen as good parents.

CMS had a deduction of earnings from my ex. He left his job. Then they applied to take it from his bank account but there wasn’t enough in there. Then they took him to court - he miraculously paid all the arrears on the morning of the court date in 2019.
I’ve had nothing since. Apparently he was not working or claiming benefits. Then he started claiming benefits and I got a letter to say I’d be getting £6.46 a week. The next day I got a letter to say his benefit entitlement had stopped. The annual review was in December, still entitled to nil rate. Ex is working now and has been since at least July 2020. I’ve reported this to CMS and asked for a review only to ge told I have to wait until December again.
I don’t understand how having been taken to court once that a - he still thinks that he can get away with non-payments and b - cms are giving him another chance

And MN wouldn’t like that because apparently is enough for some parents just to look after their own children without taking any of the financial responsibility. They still get to be seen as good parents.

Well yes, usually having 100% of the responsibility for childcare does tend to affect your employment potential. But feel free to keep shaming people who, for example, might be trying to hold a messy and dangerous self employed job together when the schools have been closed, their regular childminder has stopped because over 60 and worried about Covid, there is no other childcare available, and their dad has refused to have them for one minute more than he usually does, despite there being a national crisis.

I think the thing that hurts most is being forced into a position where I have to rely on benefits- and then being looked down on for being in that position by the hard of thinking .

That's disgraceful op. I really don't understand why we don't follow the American example in this and really go after these dead beat dads hard.