Page 8 | Arseholes Who've Ruined Groups And Hobbies

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 2021-03-08T18:18:18+00:00

Moved house last year, then COVID happened. I am CEV and so have done loads of shielding and joining a hobby group I was looking forward to post move hasn't happened but I am on their mailing list. For this specific thing they are my only option locally. Get emails from the mailing list regularly and having had my interest piqued googled the social media presence of the named sender. They are clearly an arsehole, a massive, tedious, arsehole with very "set views" which I imagine would need to be agreed with by any incomers, which is not going to happen. (They are a group organiser) So potentially that's this group out the window... Which made me think, MNers, were you / have you ever left a group style hobby you really enjoyed because of That One Arsehole and What did they do? How bad was it?

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 09/03/2021 18:49

@PowerhousePatty

I used to go to yoga with my friend. It’s not really my thing, but she loves it and it was an excuse to have a catch up after the class. The yoga teacher used to make us stand in a circle at the start of the class and say one thing that we were thankful for that day. Every time, without fail, she’d make me repeat my ‘thing’ 3 or 4 times claiming she didn’t hear me. No matter how loudly or clearly I spoke. She didn’t do it to anyone else, just me. Pissed me right off. Then she went on a Native American retreat and on her return made us do hollering and foot stamping which just seemed like total cultural appropriation to me so I stopped going.

You should have started your statement with "Listen very carefully, I will say this only once" every time.

(Now I'm second guessing my reference, will anyone under 40 still get that?)

DorisLessingsCat · 09/03/2021 18:52

Good for you @Tehmina23 💪

Echobelly · 09/03/2021 19:00

Not a hobby as such, buy i joined a lefty political group on FB that some friends were on and i did fear the worst, and so it was proven.

I mentioned that the left has a problem where everyone is so keen to show how inclusive and ideologically pure they are that they bash anyone who doesn't get everything they do are day 100% right, and this is off-putting and alienates people.

Some guy immediately pops up and calls me a 'fascist'.

Tbf, most people immediately told him he was a twat - i wasn't going to waste my energy on this guy by telling him I'm a member of a family where a whole branch was murdered by real, actual facists in the holocaust.

ProfYaffle · 09/03/2021 19:09

I always said there was a Radio 4 drama in the allotment shenanigans.

The vice chair of our committee got voted off because he was an annoying twat. He took it really badly, flounced out of the meeting shouting that he'd "take the allotments down" (complete with fist shake), set fire to the accounts and tried to empty the bank account!

He followed that up by getting on to the Parish Council and has spent the past 6 years trying to shut the allotments down. He's literally like that "Read them and understand them" bloke from the Handforth meeting.

Cindersrellie · 09/03/2021 19:12

These are hilarious! Those of you who have encountered loud yoga breathers, they might have been doing "ujjayi breathing" which is the proper name for an actual genuine noisy breathing yoga technique

PacificState · 09/03/2021 19:35

I'm laughing at all the ones that are about counselling courses. My first counselling course had the most infuriating Roy (not his real name) who happily dominated about 50% of the class time by just opening his mouth and letting half-formed thoughts fall out. I don't think I ever saw him finish a sentence, he would just pause and then start off again if anyone else looked like they might start speaking instead of him.

I gave stinking feedback about the tutor who allowed it to happen. People who run hobby groups in their own time for no pay - that's one thing. If you're paid to be a tutor on a course people have paid quite a lot to learn from, bloody well exercise your authority and stop these people from wasting everyone's time! Counselling training is a magnet for these types (also for some lovely people, like me, obvs).

Ooh I'm still angry about it and it was years ago

HPD76 · 09/03/2021 19:37

I used to run a creative writing group. I met some really lovely people, but also some incredibly bonkers people. Some of the group had delusions about how talented they were, some were brilliant and shy, a good chunk were bonkers. The man who thought the Queen had sent people after him to destroy his life, the woman who clearly had inappropriate thoughts about her own dad, and the mother and daughter team who dominated, or tried to dominate everything.

It was like herding cats, trying to give everyone equal, or fairly equal airtime and attention was hard. I kind of miss the madness, but I have no desire to start it up again.

OliviaBensonsEyebrow · 09/03/2021 19:39

I've got my name down for an allotment. Apparently there's a 3 year waiting list. Gives me time to save up for some even bigger headphones 😁

TheMostHappy · 09/03/2021 19:40

I used to swim in the local pool early before work but there was one chap who was fairly set on me correcting my stroke. I was just there to get a bit of exercise like.

coldwarenigma · 09/03/2021 19:44

I've been looking at trying a new hobby/interest once lockdowns finish...I'm agog at some of these and fascinated as well !

TalktotheFoot · 09/03/2021 20:04

Miniature village fiddling

Now that's a niche hobby to be proud of

Cherrysoup · 09/03/2021 20:27

@Baypony dear Lord, they’d be laughed off my yard! We are a tolerant bunch, but very straightforward. One girl was recently bitting her horse and asked for advice (first time owner). The best response, kindly meant, but obviously borne from frustration at the extreme dithering, was ‘Just fucking get it in his mouth’. Class!

Big mistake. Last game of last year, he sidled up and told me "we've got a spark I think, I haven't felt like this since my wife died 700 years ago."

Sorry, absolutely pissing myself here! Lord, what is wrong with some men?! Our 70 odd year old neighbour did this to our 80 year old neighbour almost as soon as he’d buried his wife. The 80 year old neighbour turned him down, horrified. She’s been widowed for almost 30 years and is distinctly un attracted to him! 😂

Stovetopespresso · 09/03/2021 20:40

@rookiemere

I remember a creative writing night class I took many moons ago. Would have been wonderful except for one mature gentleman who monopolised everything and when asked to bring say a 1500 word short story to the class to read, would instead insist on narrating much longer pieces, that I seem to remember were generally sexist, racist or both.

omg I was in a class like that! his stories were all about violence towards vulnerable young attractive women! or would end in a stupid pun-take on our given sentence that week.

were we in the same class?

Spudina · 09/03/2021 20:47

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar Allo Allo! Loved that show.

Murraytheskull · 09/03/2021 20:59

I fell foul of the hell that was my local Gingerbread group. Gingerbread is for supporting single parents, for those who havnt heard of it, and everything they do is geared towards helping single parents navigate all the things we have to do.

I was still very raw from my divorce when I joined, looking for playmates for my DC. Turns out my local group was run by a clique of about 10 women desperately looking for their next boyfriend/husband. The ratio of women to men was about 10:1, so any new male members were instantly pounced on - they would be invited to 'special events' by the clique who would only invite a select few never me or the ones I grew to call friends and were flattered, bullied or squashed into either dating one of the clique, or they would run for the hills. One woman in the group dated 4 of the men in the couple of years I was there.

It got much worse for me though when I hit it off with a new guy who joined and the clique found out. We had kept it quiet as neither of us were ready to make it a 'thing', but their behaviour towards me turned horrendous. I had rumours spread about me, catty comments at events, was ignored or laughed at as I passed, and on various occasions clique members would try to turn his head by sending suggestive messages or full on attempts to seduce him in front of me. Luckily I had a few good friends in the group who rallied round me, but the final straw was when I was cornered in a nightclub toilet by a few of the clique who threatened to hurt me.

I left, but I still have a few good friends from those days who update me on the crazy group. Its still the same. Me and the nice guy are still together, years later, so it wasn't all in vain though!

rookiemere · 09/03/2021 21:18

@Stovetopespresso I don't remember any violence in his writing- or perhaps I'd fallen asleep by that point - scarily it seems like amateur Dennis Wheatley's exist in pretty much all writing groups .

CharityDingle · 09/03/2021 21:33

@PacificState

I'm laughing at all the ones that are about counselling courses. My first counselling course had the most infuriating Roy (not his real name) who happily dominated about 50% of the class time by just opening his mouth and letting half-formed thoughts fall out. I don't think I ever saw him finish a sentence, he would just pause and then start off again if anyone else looked like they might start speaking instead of him.

I gave stinking feedback about the tutor who allowed it to happen. People who run hobby groups in their own time for no pay - that's one thing. If you're paid to be a tutor on a course people have paid quite a lot to learn from, bloody well exercise your authority and stop these people from wasting everyone's time! Counselling training is a magnet for these types (also for some lovely people, like me, obvs).

Ooh I'm still angry about it and it was years ago

This is EXACTLY like the guy in my course that I posted about earlier...'opening his mouth and letting half formed thoughts fall out' is a perfect description.

He was actually a nice guy but OMG! And one of the tutors was quite happy to let him ramble on and on and on. I gave feedback, as did others, about it. So maybe another group benefited from that. Hopefully.

TalktotheFoot · 09/03/2021 21:39

Trouble is, I've always had a strong suspicion that the Roys of this world do not have the capability to form the second half of those thoughts, but don't realise it. They are so full of their own supremacy in all things that they are unable to process any information to the contrary.

PacificState · 09/03/2021 21:40

Oh no @CharityDingle maybe it's the same guy taking all the counselling courses in the country sequentially as some sort of psych experiment...

Craftycorvid · 09/03/2021 22:01

I was a veteran of quite a few creative writing courses before I set foot in a counselling course classroom, so I was pretty battle hardened by then! In any creative writing group ever, the following people will emerge:

A very quiet, slightly doomed-looking young woman who may or may not be very talented but who is so silent, no one ever finds out.

An older woman who hides diagnosable psychopathy beneath a veneer of angora sweaters and pearls.

A man-splaining misogynist.

Someone with an obvious addiction.

A few people genuinely hoping to learn more and develop their writing who will be swiftly disillusioned.

Oh and always, always someone writing an epic novel about something so bizarre it beggars belief (and they always want to read huge chunks of it aloud).

PacificState · 09/03/2021 22:14

Lol at 'diagnosable psychopathy'

unclubbable · 09/03/2021 22:39

I think I was the arsehole. Well I wasn't but they thought I was. Hobby group, everyone was noticeably "posher" than me. In a conversation about DC and their music lessons, I mentioned that my DC was doing Grade 8 trombone. Afterwards I was asked not to come back as I had apparently embarrassed other members as their DC weren't as advanced as mine. Bizarrely my DC was at least 2 years older than any of theirs anyway, so would naturally have been ahead. I dont think my face or clothes or car fitted.

MrsDrudge · 09/03/2021 22:48

Oh and the swimmers - there is one particular person at the family swim session on a Sunday evening in our local small pool. Wearing his tight little swimming cap and goggles, he thunders up and down the pool like a giant massive spluttering walrus, leaving a tidal wave in his wake and doing racing turns either end of the pool. Woe betide you if you swim near his vicinity. He seems to think he is in training for the Olympics and spoils everyone’s enjoyment.

Silurian · 09/03/2021 22:58

@unclubbable

I think I was the arsehole. Well I wasn't but they thought I was. Hobby group, everyone was noticeably "posher" than me. In a conversation about DC and their music lessons, I mentioned that my DC was doing Grade 8 trombone. Afterwards I was asked not to come back as I had apparently embarrassed other members as their DC weren't as advanced as mine. Bizarrely my DC was at least 2 years older than any of theirs anyway, so would naturally have been ahead. I dont think my face or clothes or car fitted.

Actually, I suspect I was the arsehole at one book group, too, but only because I thought it was normal to say something other than ‘I couldn’t really get into it.’

PickAChew · 09/03/2021 23:00

@Tehmina23

Pre Covid & after first lockdown I've been paying quite a bit each month to go to a good gym in a large hotel with lots of equipment.

I enjoyed doing weights especially and was beginning to get fit & tone up, some colleagues from the hospital where I work also attend so it's nice to see them.
I like to get a coffee in the coffee shop or a Coke Zero at the pub in the hotel & had made some friends.

However had a suspicion all was not right... then found out that a small group of men who I was getting a bit paranoid about because they keep looking over, basically like to look at my chest & I heard them making comments.
It's very cringe for me as I do feel my chest is too big and I'm self conscious about it.
I wear a good sports bra plus a top.
I have a mental illness where I get paranoid but unfortunately I'm not just imagining things this time.

So. When lockdown is over - Do I ignore this small pathetic group or do I stop going to the gym I enjoy??

I'd be tempted to wear a t-shirt with the word WANKERS emblazoned across the chest (but that would probably get you chucked out, unfortunately)