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Original poster

Grandma wants paying for babysitting

151 replies

Bet94 · 27/02/2021 18:29

Hello all,

My mum has asked that I keep my DS off nursery one say a week so she can look after him. She's asked for payment that is the same as the nursery to look after him at my house (with my food, gas and electric ect) for the day she has him.

Am I wrong in thinking this is out of order?

Thoughts are welcome.

Thank you xx

OP posts:
Chicchicchicchiclana · 27/02/2021 19:10

It all depends on your Mum's financial situation.

SnowyBranches · 27/02/2021 19:10

With a nursery you are paying for the expertise of trained early years educators who are delivering the Early Years Foundation Stage curriculum, and also for all the resources they have, their toys, their outdoor equipment, their crafts resources...so no, I would not be paying the same.
Also, isn’t it illegal to,pay for childcare if the childcare provider is not Ofsted registered?

mumwon · 27/02/2021 19:11

well dm if I employ (pay) you I have to declare it to the HMRC
basically she wants to keep benefits & not declare extra income - I bet she doesn't mention that her parents help with mortgage (it would be considered income)

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Childcare & nursery Families
Knittedfairies · 27/02/2021 19:15

Leave him where he is. If she's ill/has something else to do/gets a better offer on 'her' day, you'll be stuck without childcare.

Howshouldibehave · 27/02/2021 19:18

[quote Bet94]@spongedog hi thanks for your reply. She dosent work and hasn't for the last 4 years. She's on benefits and her parents pay most of her mortgage. She dosent have a high income but she's not in major financial difficulty[/quote]
This is an unusual situation-why do they pay her mortgage?!

I’d keep the child in nursery.

GettingItOutThere · 27/02/2021 19:19

leave him in nursery!

how odd. they thrive more in nursery if you can use them to be honest

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/02/2021 19:21

Benefits are one thing. There’s insurance issues too, aren’t there?

scrivette · 27/02/2021 19:25

I don't think you can do this legally anyway? I think you have to be registered to be paid to care for children on a permanent basis.

Workinghardeveryday · 27/02/2021 19:26

What?!!!! Really!! Like others have said, if she is struggling financially that’s different, but if she isn’t......... omg!!!!!

Viviennemary · 27/02/2021 19:26

Sounds like she is short of money.

bigbird1969 · 27/02/2021 19:27

So your mum has her parents paying off her mortgage and now wants you to pay her for something you dont need which is childcare. Leave your little one at nursery,

Jackie2022 · 27/02/2021 19:28

Lol no, why would you pay her the exact same as the nursery? Why are you essentially paying to use your own facilities? It’s a no from me

Notaroadrunner · 27/02/2021 19:29

[quote Bet94]@spongedog hi thanks for your reply. She dosent work and hasn't for the last 4 years. She's on benefits and her parents pay most of her mortgage. She dosent have a high income but she's not in major financial difficulty[/quote]
As far as you know she's not in financial difficulty. She could be in debt and not tell anyone. If you were actually looking for childcare and asked her, then I'd expect that you'd pay her. But her suggestion to take your child out of current childcare for a day and pay her to mind him is a bit odd. It's also odd that your grandparents pay her mortgage. Is there a reason she stopped working or did she just choose to stop?

Snowymcsnowsony · 27/02/2021 19:30

Wow she has been financially enabled op!! Bordering cheeky fuckery imo. I had dgc 2 nights a week. Ds /dil sent a baby a changing bag with baby essentials..

WinterIsGone · 27/02/2021 19:30

I think she sounds like she's in a really precarious position financially. She must be struggling if she's on benefits and her parents are paying her mortgage. As you get older, it's also more difficult to get a job, never mind corona, and from then to get back on a sound financial footing is even tougher.

Maybe the grandparents are really worried about her, and don't want her to lose her home, so they pay the mortgage.

Obviously, none of that is a good reason from your point of view though.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/02/2021 19:31

If you wanted her to have him I'd say that you can't have it costing more than it is as present so you can pay her X (so nursery fee - their food, power etc) as she seemingly needs the money.

If you're not overly inclined to, I'd see if you can approach a conversation about if she needs the cash and if so and if you trust her, then I'd offer to pay as above.

If you really aren't interested in her having him, just explain you can't afford the additional costs and he's settled

katy1213 · 27/02/2021 19:31

So it costs you more as you'll also be paying for heating during the day, and your mum's lunch.
For inferior service as she'll switch on cartoons as soon as she's flagging.
I wouldn't.

FishWithoutABike · 27/02/2021 19:35

In nursery he will be with other kids his age and If she is sick or goes on holiday it will cause you problems so unless there is a financial benefit to her having him I wouldn’t bother.

Notnownotneverever · 27/02/2021 19:35

Based on your comment about 5K left of the mortgage I would wonder if she is trying to pay this off early and saw this as an opportunity to do so.
It’s odd because it would cost you money to have him cared for at home in terms of food and electricity, etc. I would sit down and have a good honest conversation with your mum about what is really going on.

ktp100 · 27/02/2021 19:36

Wowsers!!

The benefit of your child being off nursery would be financial only really. I don't see the point at all.

Is she strapped for cash or just a CF?

Ladsladslads · 27/02/2021 19:36

Ask her when she's planning to register with Ofsted

diddl · 27/02/2021 19:37

Wow!

That is the strangest thing!

If she's short of money, surely she needs to look for work, not ask her daughter (along with her mum & dad) to pay for her!

mumwon · 27/02/2021 19:38

a relative doesn't have to be OFTED ed but - she has to declare income if she is on benefits but I think there is something about the first £25 a week -
re her mortgage -you don't get housing benefit for mortgages - if I remember rightly with mortgages these days you get a loan which you have to pay back, if I remember rightly the gov than take over a proportion of your property as a repayment - so unless her parents have become owners of her property & she's renting... which means she is probably not getting anything for her mortgage?

BearEastie · 27/02/2021 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumwon · 27/02/2021 19:40
  • con't gp doesn't need to be OFSTED & same if working in child's own home