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Original poster

Grandma wants paying for babysitting

151 replies

Bet94 · 27/02/2021 18:29

Hello all,

My mum has asked that I keep my DS off nursery one say a week so she can look after him. She's asked for payment that is the same as the nursery to look after him at my house (with my food, gas and electric ect) for the day she has him.

Am I wrong in thinking this is out of order?

Thoughts are welcome.

Thank you xx

OP posts:
Bet94 · 27/02/2021 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Heyha · 27/02/2021 18:49

We don't pay her fare when she visits us socially btw!

PotteringAlong · 27/02/2021 18:49

She dosent have a high income but she's not in major financial difficulty.

She will be when her parents stop paying her mortgage!

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Childcare & nursery Families
BillieSpain · 27/02/2021 18:51

Did you ask her or did she ask you?

DSis just asked my parents and they said exactly the same thing. They didn't want to do chilcare Grin

Original poster
Bet94 · 27/02/2021 18:51

@PotteringAlong
She has less than 5k left on her mortgage

OP posts:
tuttifuckinfruity · 27/02/2021 18:52

[quote Bet94]@spongedog hi thanks for your reply. She dosent work and hasn't for the last 4 years. She's on benefits and her parents pay most of her mortgage. She dosent have a high income but she's not in major financial difficulty[/quote]
Your mum sounds like she needs to grow up.

I would definitely keep him in nursery.

Chloemol · 27/02/2021 18:53

It’s a no from me. Keep the child in nursery, they will have people to play with, and what happens if your mother is ill a s can’t do it

Plus normally grandparents would do this to help out with childcare costs, not demand you pay them the same as the nursery plus at your house

rawalpindithelabrador · 27/02/2021 18:53

Just tell her no! 'DH and I have discussed this and we both prefer to keep DS in the routine of nursery.' She's a CFer.

Mycatismadeofstringcheese · 27/02/2021 18:55

Depending on the nursery you often have to pay for the place for the fifth day anyway so it doesn’t work out any cheaper having him in 4 days rather than 5. Added to point above that you can’t claim tax credit on payment to family, it could end up costing you more!

CherryFox · 27/02/2021 18:57

The more I think about this the more I think it would turn out to be a Pandora's Box style shitstorm. Just say no.

'Consistency at nursery is important for DS' or whatever.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 27/02/2021 18:59

When DS went to nursery there was a daily rate or a weekly rate, the weekly rate wasn't that much more than four days of daily rate, so there wouldn't have been much saving by having someone else look after him one day a week anyway.

If you cancel one of your nursery days and then she decides at short notice not to mind your DS anymore, you might not be able to get the nursery day back. Then you'd be stuffed. I wouldn't give up the nursery place.

PickAChew · 27/02/2021 19:00

Keep him at nursery.

NoSquirrels · 27/02/2021 19:00

Just say no.

Heyha · 27/02/2021 19:01

Actually that's a really good point, we get a good discount for five days rather than four at the moment. Can't wait for the bills when she goes down to just 3 days though!!

oil0W0lio · 27/02/2021 19:02

she's trying to present this as her wanting to have a relationship with the child and then spin it a bit to make you feel as if you should pay her to do so!!
her parents pay her mortgage and she doesnt work...is she a bit of a 'child-woman' type?

timetest · 27/02/2021 19:04

Big no.

Disfordarkchocolate · 27/02/2021 19:04

I wouldn't like it. With paid childcare you get the ability to set the rules. Grandma, not so much.

I would ever charge, but I don't let my parents pay my mortgage either.

londonmummy1234 · 27/02/2021 19:05

This is utterly, utterly bizarre. Is she struggling with money?

BarbaraofKent · 27/02/2021 19:05

So, she specifically asked you look after your but wants paying to do so? How weird!

Wouldn't you have to pay nursery fees as well, so you would be paying double?

deste · 27/02/2021 19:05

I have my GD three days a week, I wouldn’t dream of charging her parents. If she needs anything while she is with me, I buy it. I consider it an honour to be trusted with her. A lot of what she has learned is down to me and I’m so proud of her.

ValerieMorghulis · 27/02/2021 19:06

Is she Ofsted registered? I wouldn’t pay for childcare otherwise! It’s very odd that she asked

londonmummy1234 · 27/02/2021 19:06

Sorry just saw the update. So no, she's not particularly tough for money. It's just odd. Is she usually like this with you? It feels weird to me because my mum would never in a million years ask this of me... I imagine most of my friends mums wouldn't either.

Eviethyme · 27/02/2021 19:07

The fact is you pay nursery because then your child gets to develop and learn and play with other kids.

intheenddoesitreallymatter · 27/02/2021 19:07

How odd.

Leave him where he is.

hulloall · 27/02/2021 19:09

Wow, yes, that is completely out of order.
How odd.

I could understand her wanting to look after him for a day each week to bond with your Son, but surely she could do that on a day where he doesn't attend nursery. And most definitely for free.

I would 1000% say no. Just tell her you want him to attend nursery because it's good for his social development or something.

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