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Original poster

Would you consider a 3rd child if you lived in a 2 bed house?

167 replies

Onedropbeat · 16/02/2021 18:00

You live in a 2 bed house. It’s fine as it is but will be a squeeze even with the two children when they grow up.
DH and I ideally wanted a 3rd. I’m late 30’s

There’s no chance of us affording anything bigger anytime soon due to the way house prices have increased in our area. We have solidly been priced out just in the last year because of people relocating but wanting to still be accessible to London

Pre Covid we thought that our salaries would continue increasing at the rate they had been and we’d be able to afford the next rung on our tiny ladder

We can’t really now. Wages have dropped rather than increasing and obviously won’t be increasing again for a long while if at all now

Would you have a much desired 3rd in the circumstances or just suck it up to Covid

OP posts:
AdditionalCharacter · 16/02/2021 21:01

No, it wouldn't be fair on the other two already having to share.

Blackdog19 · 16/02/2021 21:03

No I wouldn’t.

yearinyearout · 16/02/2021 21:07

Nope

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Maybemay123 · 16/02/2021 21:13

I wouldn't and I say this as a parent of 3 (including twins), but each to their own.

What if you had twins?
What if one of your children needed their own bedroom - one of mine has medical problems and learning disabilities which means they need their own space but also have medical equipment.
You need a plan for different eventualities.

Ditheringdooley · 16/02/2021 21:19

You want another child, have another child. I would much rather have another sibling than my own room (or at least once an adult).

Look up tiny houses etc and get v creative with space management and ruthless with stuff management.

In terms of welfare, you may need to relocate to the living room as your bedroom or something as you are meant to have a room for each sex I think? Maybe I just made that up from television - and irrelevant if you have all girls or all boys.

Good luck.

Gobbeldegook · 16/02/2021 21:20

My kids have a bedroom each and it's not enough space. If I lived in a 2 bed I'd not have had the 2nd. Thankfully housing is more affordable here

Figgygal · 16/02/2021 21:21

No I wouldn’t
It would be completely unfair to everyone

Evenstar · 16/02/2021 21:34

I have 3 adult children and would not have contemplated more than 2 children in a two bedroom house. I am actually of the opinion now that I would have stuck at 2 anyway and gone back to work (I was SAHM for a long time) if things were as they are now, life these days seems very hard and uncertain and I think 2 is enough. My DD thinks she will only have 1 when the time comes.

I really would try to move for more space for the two children you have before they hit their teens.

Jackie7527 · 16/02/2021 21:39

I would say yes if all of your children have close age gaps and are the same gender. Its not fair to make siblings going through 2 different life stages share the same room. Or a boy and girl share the same room. I have 3 daughters born one year after another. They share the same room but I dont think it will be too bad. They can always use my room if they need to study

CattyCactus · 16/02/2021 21:42

No.
It’s not fair on your current children who already have to share.
There’s no guarantee siblings will get on.
What if you have twins (or more).
What if you have a child with extra needs.
As all the children get older they’ll need space and privacy. How will this be possible with 3?
So no, it’s a big fat no.

Redwinestillfine · 16/02/2021 21:51

The house is a red flag. What do you want? If you're serious about a third child then you need to make some changes - move/ new job. It may mean waiting a year or so but if it's your dream then you will prioritise it. Only you can decide.

BritInAus · 16/02/2021 22:52

Going against the grain and saying absolutely, financial situations are fluid. As others have said, can you extend/convert? The 3rd could easily be in a cot in your room for the first two years. It could take a while to get pregnant, and then you're obviously pregnant for 9 months. It could easily be 3.5/4 years before you'd ideally have an extra bedroom - and even then, a 2 year old only needs to sleep in their room, usually they'd be near the adults whilst they're awake and so you just need a small room with space for a bed and clothes storage for the early years.

MacDuffsMuff · 17/02/2021 07:58

What happens if their financial situation doesn't improve though @BritInAus? It's a bit different if that happens after you've had children and have to cut your cloth accordingly, but it's pretty irresponsible to have a child that you can't afford. Their other children need consideration too.

BritInAus · 17/02/2021 08:20

@MacDuffsMuff

What happens if their financial situation doesn't improve though *@BritInAus*? It's a bit different if that happens after you've had children and have to cut your cloth accordingly, but it's pretty irresponsible to have a child that you can't afford. Their other children need consideration too.
Hi. I didn't read it as they can't afford a third child. I would feel very differently if they couldn't afford to feed and clothe a third child, but I think we're very spoilt in terms of people often expecting kids to have their own large bedrooms, multiple bathrooms in houses etc. I personally would go for it - if both parents really want a third child, I'd hate them to miss out over a bedroom. It's not like there would be five people in a tiny bed sit.
MacDuffsMuff · 17/02/2021 08:54

But the two children they have are already sharing, they don't have their own large bedrooms as it is (neither do mine). The OP says

We can’t really now. Wages have dropped rather than increasing and obviously won’t be increasing again for a long while if at all now

which suggests that money will be tight. DH and I both wanted a third child, but we just couldn't afford to move house or extend the one that we have and didn't feel it was fair to the two children that we have to expect them to share 3 to a bedroom. It's not just about a bedroom though, there are a million other things that we took into consideration but at the end of the day we felt that our two DCs would be disadvantaged if we'd had another. Yes we as parents 'missed out' on a third baby, but I believe our family as a whole benefitted from is only having two children. To be clear, I'm not saying that's the same for everyone but I can only give my take on the OPs situation from my own point of view from a very similar one.

Juanbablo · 17/02/2021 08:59

We did. All 3 children shared a room once dc3 moved out of our room at 18m. We moved house to a 3 bed when he was 3. The boys share and dd has her own room. Now ds1 is a teenager he would like his own room but that's not going to happen for a long time. It works fine.

Beforethetakingoftoastandtea · 17/02/2021 09:02

@Juanbablo

We did. All 3 children shared a room once dc3 moved out of our room at 18m. We moved house to a 3 bed when he was 3. The boys share and dd has her own room. Now ds1 is a teenager he would like his own room but that's not going to happen for a long time. It works fine.
Your 3 children shared for 18 months. Op said they have little chance of moving for the foreseeable. That is not the same situation.
BabyElephant2 · 17/02/2021 09:04

No. I’m dreading having a second in a two bedroom.

SarahLox77 · 17/02/2021 09:08

You can't afford it. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I think you need to put quality of life for your existing kids first, above your own desire for more.

NatashaAlianovaRomanova · 17/02/2021 09:13

No I wouldn't & I say that as one of 6 kids in a 3 bed who loved it growing up but times have changed.

I have a 2 bed & most of the time it's just me & DD so it's fine but when DS comes to stay we're all on top of each other, there's no room for his crap, he sleeps in the lounge so I'm confined to my bedroom like a teenager until he decides to get up in the morning, I never feel like the place is clean & tidy... the lust goes on.

I'm currently looking for an affordable 3 bed but I'm in a HA property & don't really want to risk going back to the precarious situation of private renting.

EuroTrashed · 17/02/2021 09:17

You have to compromise on something. A house in a fancy area that’s beyond your means, lots of children, access to free (?) grandparental help. Accept that either you stay in the area and stick at two children or move further out for a larger house, pay for childcare and have more children. I live close to the kind of area you describe (£5m houses and Aston martins all over the place). Move half an hour away and you literally get twice as much house for your money. You have to compromise on something otherwise you are being incredibly unfair on the children to suit your own wishes

MacDuffsMuff · 17/02/2021 09:19

But you moved to a 3 bedroom @Juanbablo, the OP says they are unlikely to be able to do that or extend their own to a 3 bed. Different situations.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 17/02/2021 09:22

Absolutely not. May be possible with little ones but not teenagers. I assume downstairs space is limited too in a 2 bed? Honestly in a two bed i wouldn't have more than one child but that ship has clearly sailed Grin

EuroTrashed · 17/02/2021 09:27

@MacDuffsMuff op is able to move to a 3 bed but she also wants to stay in her bankerland area. That’s the real issue - she can afford it if she compromises on area. She can only afford 2 bedrooms in Cobham / Beaconsfield / wherever it is she currently lives.

Original poster
Onedropbeat · 17/02/2021 09:28

The downstairs is huge surprisingly. Lounge, dining room, kitchen with a second dining table. It’s previously been extended so the living area is great.

Just the bedrooms.

I guess we could move further out but my parents are elderly and require our help for so many things. I’d feel bad moving away from them whilst they rely on us.

The affordability is a weird thing. We have plenty of disposable money each month. Enough that we can save £1000 each month, but on paper our affordability doesn’t stretch to another £140k required to borrow for the next rung up the ladder

OP posts: