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Would you consider a 3rd child if you lived in a 2 bed house?

167 replies

Onedropbeat · 16/02/2021 18:00

You live in a 2 bed house. It’s fine as it is but will be a squeeze even with the two children when they grow up.
DH and I ideally wanted a 3rd. I’m late 30’s

There’s no chance of us affording anything bigger anytime soon due to the way house prices have increased in our area. We have solidly been priced out just in the last year because of people relocating but wanting to still be accessible to London

Pre Covid we thought that our salaries would continue increasing at the rate they had been and we’d be able to afford the next rung on our tiny ladder

We can’t really now. Wages have dropped rather than increasing and obviously won’t be increasing again for a long while if at all now

Would you have a much desired 3rd in the circumstances or just suck it up to Covid

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sunshineandshowers40 · 16/02/2021 18:56

Only if I thought we could move in the next couple of years. We were in a 2bed when I was expecting our third but moved before he was born. Depends on the size of the rooms and the door stairs space.

FourForYouGlenCoco · 16/02/2021 18:56

I probably wouldn’t in your circs, and I say this as someone who did have 3 in a 2-bed. The difference was that we knew it would be very temporary - they shared for about a year in the end and that was more than long enough. It was very hard, mostly for me and for my eldest (7 at the time) who really needed her own space. We moved last year and it’s so so much easier having more space. Don’t underestimate how much harder 3 is than 2, and it will be massively compounded if you’re all on top of each other constantly. Unless you can extend or are fairly certain you’ll be able to size up within a few years I’d avoid another - I know what a wrench it is when you want another baby so much, but I think it will be a very unenjoyable experience for you if you go for it now Sad

Itsjustaride8w737 · 16/02/2021 18:57

No i wouldn't.

I beleive each child needs their own bedroom.

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PickAChew · 16/02/2021 19:01

It's hardly fair on the kids you already have. And what if that 3rd child comes with a 4th in tow or has significant health issues or disabilities meaning they need more space to themselves than you expected? Your living situation could easily be more cramped than anticipated.

HermioneWeasley · 16/02/2021 19:02

Absolutely not.

pursuedbyablackdog · 16/02/2021 19:03

Do you have a garden so you could build a cabin? Or can you extend at all?
Otherwise I think it's not a good idea.

Sunflowerpower11 · 16/02/2021 19:06

Definitely not. It wouldn't be fair on any of them

Therunecaster · 16/02/2021 19:06

No I wouldn't personally.

InvincibleInvisibility · 16/02/2021 19:11

I wouldn't. Ours need a room each cos of DS1's ADHD. He wouldn't be bothered about sharing but DS2 really needs his own space to get away from DS1 who is overbearing and demanding.

Im still amazed at how much space the clothes and shoes and coats take up as DC get bigger. My 9 year old wears the same size shoes as me!

Smartiepants79 · 16/02/2021 19:12

In days gone by three children in a house with 2 bedrooms would have been utterly normal and everyone concerned would have got on with it and been grateful for a warm, safe bed and a loving family.
Now, when we can choose how many children we bring into the world more children than you have space and money for feels self indulgent and unnecessary.
In part it does depend on age and sex of children and the relationships they have with each other.
I would not do it myself. Out of choice I would have a space for each of my children.
BUT sharing rooms also has many positives, I know several sets of siblings ( all same sex) who preferred to share bedrooms, even well into teenage years.
It does also depend on how long you anticipate being in the same house.

SplendidSuns1000 · 16/02/2021 19:26

No. It's unfair, when the children grow up you'll be cramped and struggling. And if you're potentially financially unstable then now is certainly not the time to plan a baby.

ItsDinah · 16/02/2021 19:26

If all three will be close in age you might consider it. You would have one bedroom for the boys,one for girls and mum and dad in living room. I've known families of 5 , 6 or more children in two bed flats. The biggest difficulties are having children with a big age gap sharing and allocating peaceful study space for older children. One family's kitchen wasn't big enough for a table to seat more than two,so couldn't be used as a living room. They timetabled use of it for individual children at evenings and weekends so they could have some time alone to study in it. Another family had a bigger kitchen and put the TV in it and the dining table in the living room(which doubled as parent's bedroom). Dining table used for homework and kitchen for tv/playing/any noise-making activity.

Lemonsyellow · 16/02/2021 19:29

The vast majority of children/teens I know share bedrooms. I can’t think of many who have their own rooms. Three sharing is more unusual, though not unheard of, clearly.

RedPandaMama · 16/02/2021 19:32

Not a chance. I live in a 2 up 2 down terrace, it's only me, 3 year old DD, an elderly cat and DP half the week and it feels way overcrowded. I hugely respect people who have more than one child but I couldn't do it. I don't think I could even have 2 kids here never mind 3.

ShouldIgonow · 16/02/2021 19:37

How would you make it work? It’s hard for 3 kids to share esp when they get older and need the space to study etc I think that’s the main thing. Not love but having the space. We have 2 kids and a 4 bed and I get frustrated with all the stuff but if I had a 3rd would have wanted a 5 bed.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 16/02/2021 19:43

No.

Greenmarmalade · 16/02/2021 19:45

I would, but if it’s twins it’ll be a squeeze. When you’ve not got childcare to pay for, could you get a 3 bed? Could you move to a cheaper area?

TheRebelle · 16/02/2021 19:53

Is there no chance you could keep your eye out for a bigger house that needs renovating or at auction? It’d be a shame not to have a much wanted third child if you’ll be able to get something g bigger in the next few years but three teenagers in a 2 bed would be a nightmare.

DavidsSchitt · 16/02/2021 19:54

No. I wouldn't

Greencabin · 16/02/2021 19:55

I'd say yes if it would be a short term thing for maybe a few years, the baby could share with you and when kids are small, sharing a room is fine, I shared with my sister till I was about 10 and it honestly never bothered us, my brothers shared as well then we moved somewhere bigger and we each had our own rooms.

It can be done... space will be tight but it's not impossible. You just have to work out what is best for your family, some people couldn't do it, some people do it and it's ok.

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 16/02/2021 19:57

Another vote for 'no'.

Marchitectmummy · 16/02/2021 20:00

No I personally wouldn't, i think children deserve their own space and shouldn't have to share.

Xmasbaby11 · 16/02/2021 20:02

Absolutely not. It would be cramped and uncomfortable for everyone.

RedGoldAndGreene · 16/02/2021 20:04

Are your children the same sex? If not I think you need to work out how to give each a room by the time the oldest is say 10ish before thinking about a third.

Personally I have 3 kids in a 4 bed and it's been a lifesaver during Corona

Onedropbeat · 16/02/2021 20:05

In an ideal work it would be just for a short while but this last year had shown we can’t rely on finances to be continually improving like we once had

You’re all right and what my mind was telling me (my heart was disagreeing) because we never imagined 2 in a 2 bed either

They love the house and love sharing but they are so young it won’t be like that when they are pre-teen so we probably have another 5-8 years as it is before we really need to decide about moving or extending and it might mean moving further out

We live in an area full of wealthy bankers, lawyers, directors etc and we are mere creatives. Our earnings will never be enough here anymore

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