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Original poster

Would you consider a 3rd child if you lived in a 2 bed house?

167 replies

Onedropbeat · 16/02/2021 18:00

You live in a 2 bed house. It’s fine as it is but will be a squeeze even with the two children when they grow up.
DH and I ideally wanted a 3rd. I’m late 30’s

There’s no chance of us affording anything bigger anytime soon due to the way house prices have increased in our area. We have solidly been priced out just in the last year because of people relocating but wanting to still be accessible to London

Pre Covid we thought that our salaries would continue increasing at the rate they had been and we’d be able to afford the next rung on our tiny ladder

We can’t really now. Wages have dropped rather than increasing and obviously won’t be increasing again for a long while if at all now

Would you have a much desired 3rd in the circumstances or just suck it up to Covid

OP posts:
Starseeking · 16/02/2021 20:06

If it was just two sharing I'd say fine, but 3 DC sharing a room would be rubbish. I wouldn't advocate you giving up one of the bedrooms for the DC, and staying in the living area yourselves; you'll all be on top of each other!

It doesn't sound like you can afford to have 3 DC.

Anywherebuthere · 16/02/2021 20:11

Yes Definately.
You can make it work if its something you feel strongly about. There is nothing wrong with sharing room or having non conventional sleeping arrangements. The main thing the children need is love, safety and to be provided for.

Playdoughcaterpillar · 16/02/2021 20:14

No I wouldn't

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Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 16/02/2021 20:17

I've just had my third in a 2 bed, but we have the potential to extend and planned on it before I knew I was pregnant. We had decided not to have any more but she's here now and she has completed our family.

Africa2go · 16/02/2021 20:19

Do you rely on grandparents for childcare? Is that why you can't move further out?

I would be worried about affording 3 children full stop at the moment, regardless of how big my house was (and that's someone with 3). Now they're teenagers / tweens, they are SO expensive and with the uncertainty caused by Covid and job losses / recession, I wouldn't knowingly want to increase my outgoings. Saving for uni, clothes, spends, holidays etc. Having the added pressure of having a small house would be another issue making life harder.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 16/02/2021 20:20

No, but wouldn’t have had two either.

I’ve grown up in those conditions and it sucks. No space, no privacy, studying was a nightmare, friends couldn’t come over as no room etc.

Finances also play a huge part and if the house is the limit with two salaries what would happen if it were just one? Childcare for another is also a huge expense unless you are expecting relatives to do it for free.

Motnight · 16/02/2021 20:23

I have watched a 3 child, 2 parent family all have their mental health severely affected by living in a 2 bedroomed house. They managed to move to a 3 bedroom place when the oldest reached 14. They are still suffering from the consequences IMO.

Viviennemary · 16/02/2021 20:26

No. I wouldn't even have two children in a two bedroomed house. Unless it was unavoidable. Ok on a temporary basis and children are very small.

Pippa234 · 16/02/2021 20:28

No I wouldn't.

Pyewhacket · 16/02/2021 20:30

No.

MacDuffsMuff · 16/02/2021 20:32

No, it wouldn't be fair on any of you OP. Least of all the children when they're older. Tough for you though. Flowers

thanksamillion · 16/02/2021 20:34

I wouldn't. Mine shared (girl boy girl) until they were 9, 7 and 4. Then the girls shared for a year while we had a lodger but even that wasn't working with different bedtimes etc. Our 4 bed house feels small now they are all adult sized (eldest now 16) and I'm dreaming of more space. If you don't think you can expand your space stick as you are.

LonstantonSpiceMuseum · 16/02/2021 20:38

Going to go against the grain here and say yes it's perfectly possible, as long as you treat the rooma for sleep and sleep only (not a hangout) and don't have too much clutter. The own room thing is partly cultural. There are a lot of places across the world where people have managed fine sharing rooms to sleep, or bring out the beds into the living area each night time. And they are not necessarily poor.
However if you value privacy and space, it might really get you down. Only you know whether that can work.

Original poster
Onedropbeat · 16/02/2021 20:40

@Motnight

I have watched a 3 child, 2 parent family all have their mental health severely affected by living in a 2 bedroomed house. They managed to move to a 3 bedroom place when the oldest reached 14. They are still suffering from the consequences IMO.
Wow that sounds severe What happened?
OP posts:
EwwSprouts · 16/02/2021 20:41

No. COVID has been a reminder that cramped housing leads to poorer health. It's not just the lack of a third bedroom, I'm assuming your downstairs space is relatively small too.

superduster · 16/02/2021 20:43

It slightly depends on room sizes - a 1990s 2 bed starter home is probably half the size of a Victorian 2 bed. But no, I wouldn't. If you can't afford a house with enough space you probably won't be financially secure with the costs of 3. Why don't you move to a cheaper area?

Trinacham · 16/02/2021 20:46

No, I - personally - wouldn't even have 2 kids in a 2 bed house, which is why I bought a 3 bed (pre-kids!)

Motnight · 16/02/2021 20:46

Op, the lack of space meant that nobody could actually be alone for any length of time. Kids bickering all day and then having to sleep together. Play dates with other children almost impossible. Adults having no where to go to destress.

It was awful.

ThatsnotmyBorishishairistoneat · 16/02/2021 20:46

No

ThatsnotmyBorishishairistoneat · 16/02/2021 20:47

How old are your dcs?

rhowton · 16/02/2021 20:47

I wouldn't consider a third child and I live in a 4 bed house. Only have another child, if your other children's lives wouldn't change for the worst.

Queenie24 · 16/02/2021 20:48

I live in a 3 bedroom house and we have 4 children. Now 2 have gone to University it is easier with more space but no problem when they were growing up.

I really cant see the big issue with children sharing.

sonnysunshine · 16/02/2021 20:49

No because if you end up having teenagers of different sexes sharing a room that is awful. We have three and the three of them were in one bedroom up until the oldest was about 11 and that worked fine. Now there is no way my 15-year old son want to share with his little sister.

VerbenaGirl · 16/02/2021 20:52

I’m one of 4, grew up in a 3-bed - I had the tiny box room and my three brothers shared a bedroom with bunk beds and one single. It was a busy household, but I don’t think it did us any harm. Might be an issue if your DCs are different genders though.

partyatthepalace · 16/02/2021 20:58

Could you convert a loft, or plan an extension? Or move to a cheaper area... or plan to upsize in 4 years max?? If the answer to all of this is no - then don’t.

I think by the time the kids are 8 they shouldn’t be more than 2 to a room, and by secondary - or certainly by 13 - they should really have their own room, or there should at the very least be a study space separate to the bedroom. Kids need space to do well at school and grow into their adult selves.

If that’s not possible then having another will impact on your existing DCs life chances and that isn’t right.

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