I'm going to spill this out here as it feels safe to do so. I know I'm worrying about nothing but need a kick in the bum to tell me this.
I'm a bit scared that I'm developing some kind of eating disorder.
Growing up I was always a "big girl". I would yo yo diet and lose some, put on more.
After having ds I was almost 20 stone. I realised I wanted to set a good example for him, I didn't want him to be unhealthy and miserable. So I ditched the diets and looked at my relationship with food. I changed the way I eat completely, eating a balanced diet and I exercise. I treat myself to the occasional takeaway and we took advantage of eotho last summer. I'm honestly in the best shape I've ever been in in my life.
As a family we are all so much healthier.
Now even though the gym is closed I do classes at home. But I am still sedentary for most of the day. No walk to and from the car park, walking meetings, pottering round shops at lunch.
Just mostly sat on my arse. Aside from an hour of exercise.
Now what I have found this last couple of weeks, I have stopped eating in the day time. Unless it's fruit. At first I said to myself that it's stress, giving me a lack of appetite, but it's not.
DH made us a delicious 3 course valentines dinner. Aside from porridge at breakfast it was all I ate all day.
I realised I am consciously making a decision to not eat if I'm going to be having a later or a heavier dinner.
I have never done this before and it scares me a bit.