Wondering what to do with baby

[larktreebird]

Struggling with the days at present. Baby isn’t a napper, and staying at home with an increasingly fretful baby is hard.

How do others break the day up a bit?

He is so tiny still, they still need so much sleep but get over-stimulated and tired easily. 8 weeks was hard. Not forcing naps sounds like a good idea, and keep bursts of stimulation short. It’s such a rubbish time of year for endless walks but that was what I did a lot of the time (DS is a Christmas baby), usually with a podcast and a hot drink.

A lifesaver for us was a bouncy chair (baby bjorn is great). Also, popping him on a mat next to a mirror fascinated him, as did simple black and white mobiles hanging over the playmat or chair. I also used to do a bit of light yoga next to/over him, and I used to read to him a lot, not just kids books, just whatever I was reading. Once he was content to sit in his chair/lie on the mat for a bit I would pop Netflix on sometimes.

If you can gradually get him used to spending time in the sling at home it’s totally worth it, I had to build up slowly, just a few minutes at a time at first, but it gave me my arms back and meant I could get on with stuff in the house, or make a decent snack.

My very colicky baby spent a lot of time being danced around the living room to the radio at that age. She particularly enjoyed the Eagles, I think because the tempo is close to heartbeat speed! I still can't hear an Eagles song without picturing a tiny baby and she's a teen now.

@larktreebird my baby is 11 weeks. Might not work for you, but I have found going out for 2 longish walks every day (even in the snow - baby wrapped up warm and with waterproof cover on the pram)helps give my day structure. She generally sleeps in the pram (although screams like I'm murdering her at the start and has occasional breakdowns when we are out). But it means the day is split into sections, which i find makes it easier. I listen to audio books / podcasts or have phone calls with family and friends when walking, which then makes it more fun for me. As I say, might not work for you, but it has helped me stay sane. Good luck.

[quote Dandelion3]Just curious everyone suggesting the EASY routine - was this helpful for breastfed babies ?

OP it's so hard my baby was very unsettled too and it made me feel absolutely awful when someone said "enjoy every minute" "enjoy all the cuddles" when I couldn't even sit down for 2 mins without my little one crying, how does anyone "enjoy every minute" of that - but those comments made me feel so guilty that I wasn't. For us suddenly at 3 months my little one had a light bulb moment and became settled.

Is there anyone in your local area you could form support bubble with - do you see any of your neighbours ? just seeing a friendly face really helped me during those tough days

Psyched mommy - search for her on Instagram or Facebook, really helped me - some of her posts might help too

www.instagram.com/p/CEXQ5STFtN8/?igshid=8zp7cnti581[/quote]
Yes I did this whilst BF. I combi fed initially but I managed the EPS routine. All I remember is someone telling me not to let baby fall asleep feeding all the time! But turned out I was doing eat play sleep...

Baby fed quite routinely though. 6-8 weeks old was hellish in terms of cluster feeding tho!

I kept the days light and nights dark, and huckleberry app helped me with time guides.

Think part of it is luck on whether you have a settled baby tho!

Hi OP

My baby is 16 weeks now so a bit older than yours. I'm not sure what to recommend because mine slept quite a lot on me during the day at 8 weeks - and it must be very hard for you, so please ignore posters who aren't supportive. At 8 weeks I wouldn't stress too much about stimulating the baby except to talk to him / her and make lots of faces together, and get out as much as you can with baby in carrier / sling. Baby is way too young to interact either toys and all they need is you, so just chat through your day and prop baby up in a bouncer or similar while you do things.

It gets much easier xx

We also had to pace feed so perhaps that helped with the keeping awake for feeding!

I second reading about the fourth trimester.

Lie on the sofa.

Place the baby on your chest. Or occasionally the crook of your arm or the floor for tummy time.

Purchase Netflix/prime/sky. Watch all the crap tv you won't get a chance to once CBeebies hits.

Hibernate till about April. Don't even dream of madness like doing up a spare room!

I forgot this piece of information which nobody else ever mentioned and was so true for my twins - I spent a lot of time worried about overstimulating them but babies need sensory stimulation in order to sleep. The article I read was I think different to this one but described the same way - as a sensory hunger. It made sense to me and I considered it like I considered actual hunger if they wouldn’t settle.

possumsonline.com/blog/babys-sensory-hunger

That site also has suggestions for sensory stimulation at home.

Later turned out they both have significant hypersensitivity to sensory stimulation and I wonder if a lot more sensory input would have helped us in those early months.

I found a projector that projects pictures on to the ceiling and plays music was brilliant for sensory input my twins (still use one now and they are 4!). An 8 week old won’t be able to see it clearly but can be used for a long time.

We now have a Motorola one which links to an app and you can turn it on and off remotely, set timers etc. It’s brilliant.

Oh and white noise. For some reason I thought it was woo nonsense but when I tried it the first time, DT2 went from crying right asleep in a couple of minutes. After that we played white noise every night (not quiet from a toy but louder through a phone or Bluetooth speaker).

Sorry, hyposensitivity (under sensitive, not over!)

You poor thing. Definitely don't decorate your spare bedroom as a sensory underwater seascape or any such thing, or beat yourself up for not 'cherishing these times' (urgh).

8 weeks, as another person has said, is peak AWFUL time. I remember crying holding my 8 week old whilst she cried for HOURS.

It will get better, I promise! Be kind to yourself and keep your expectations low. Get out whenever you can. x

@flowerycurtain

Lie on the sofa.

Place the baby on your chest. Or occasionally the crook of your arm or the floor for tummy time.

Purchase Netflix/prime/sky. Watch all the crap tv you won't get a chance to once CBeebies hits.

Hibernate till about April. Don't even dream of madness like doing up a spare room!

You didn’t read the thread, did you?

I think the people questioning what's hard about having a baby in lockdown are being seriously thoughtless. I had my first baby in non-lockdown times and she was by far my harder baby, but it was so much better being able to do baby groups, visit friends, go to coffee shops etc. If we were having a bad day we could just find somewhere to go, and it made it all pass so much quicker. I had my second baby in June when restrictions were lifted a bit, and it has still been tough.

I would definitely look at what @SinkGirl has posted about Possums - they have a website to. It will really fit in with your approach of not trying so hard to make the baby sleep, and just getting on with your day. I did something similar with my second baby and while we still have rough days, I enjoy my life so much more for not making it my life's work to (unsuccessfully) make him sleep. I shudder now thinking about how much time I spent trying to get my daughter to sleep - and honestly, despite me not doing this with my son he sleeps better at night and is generally more chilled out than my DD was.

The Possums approach goes against everything you read on Mumsnet about overtiredness, sleep windows and overstimulation. It works on the idea that babies do actually get bored and under stimulated, and if you meet your babies sensory needs they will sleep easier and they will be less grumpy.

It's really hard with a tiny baby in lockdown to keep them occupied. My DS is now 8 months, but things that worked for us early on were:

-Pottering in the garden, either sitting with on my lap on the bench or wandering around with him in my arms looking at plants, trees birds etc. For a change I sometimes sat on a bench in the park and watched the dog walkers go by.

-Lying him on my legs and singing along to Disney hits from my youth. If he was being squirmy and restless he quite often settled to music.

-Sharing a bath with him.

-Supporting him in the window looking out

-Just moving from room to room really frequently.

-Sensory stuff like bubbles, tickling with feathers, space blankets (very cheap and effective for newborns), fairy lights.

-When my husband was home he'd play the guitar to him which he always loved.

Sorry for the epic essay. I really feel for you - I don't know how I would have coped with my earlier baby in lockdown. And your post really resonated because I think the Mumsnet obsession with "all your baby problems will be better if you can only make them sleep every X minutes" is actually sometimes quite harmful for the mental health of new mothers.

Get some board books with a plot like the tiger who came to tea or the elephant and the bad baby. Institute reading time every day!

Wrap them up and go for a walk either pushchair or sling. Might help them to nap and if they are fretting or screaming at least you are outside!

Or wrap up and leave outside to nap in the buggy- how they did in the old days!!

Just in case anybody is interested, so far our ‘we have no routine whatsoever’ routine has worked beautifully. I’ve just gone about my normal day and if he happens to nap I’ve kept him where he is where possible. So for example when driving back from somewhere on Monday he fell asleep, so I went for a drive to give him a proper chance to rest. He barely slept on Tuesday day and was restless overnight but has slept well today and is fast asleep now.

I think he was bored in trying not to OVER stimulate him because of naps he was massively under stimulated. He’s loving annoying music, flashing lights and toys now then he suddenly cries and that’s naptime!

Ah this is great news! Long may it continue.

It might have been said already but I had a baby that needed a lot of winding! I finally realised to keep going until his legs went floppy, but not to try and put him to sleep if they felt stiff. It took a good 20 minutes to wind him. Definitely wasn’t a one good burp baby.
Figuring that out transformed his sleep!

Sensory Henry website has some nice bits that I think would work from 8 weeks or so. (Not an ad, I just bought them!)

Do also check for something causing him trouble... mine had tongue tie that was undiagnosed until 10 weeks. So he was always hungry and pissed off. Midwives and GP all missed it. Or maybe reflux? Mine was a terrible napper to begin with but now is like a little sleep robot. It is really early days. Follow your gut, if it seems something is actually troubling him it probably is. But equally when they're that young I think normal to be a bit exhausting and unpredictable!!! I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job, the fact you're posting about it shows you care and have self awareness. Xx

Well, it’s all failed miserably! Horrific day yesterday and today looks set to go the same way.

I’m semi considering a sleep consultant but worried it’s yet another gimmick.

It’s such a shame reading about mums struggling as much as you are, when ordinarily you’d be being supported by a HV

I doubt it, I mean all they can do is tell you the usual about putting babies down in dark rooms etc.

They can provide emotional support which you sound really in need of