Wondering what to do with baby

[larktreebird]

Struggling with the days at present. Baby isn’t a napper, and staying at home with an increasingly fretful baby is hard.

How do others break the day up a bit?

Baby carriers, strap them to you and get on with whatever you want to do - could not put mine down at that age. Gets easier at 3-4 months

Yep I struggled with that age too with both dds (DD1 now 3.5, DD2 is 6 months). It certainly gets easier when they can sit up and engage a bit more etc.

For now I'd say just plenty of cuddles, walks, singing and reading books etc. Its extra hard at the moment with everything closed and no baby groups etc.

Hang in there OP, it gets easier and better.

I think the poster meant put some sensory stuff up in a soare room not actually redecorate!

Huckleberry app for free sleep schedule advice. Life saver.

Please don't think you've failed at anything and trying to stick to a routine is bonkers when babies don't have one at that age!

Also, please do NOT start running (if you want to) until baby is at least six months old as your insides are still healing.

I echo getting a sling. I had a Close Caboo NCT one which was a lifesaver with both DC. Even though DC1 had moments when he hated it. Too bad! That was my time to be able to walk about with two hands and he eventually settled into it.

Yeeees ... we shall see.

I think the problem is that if I was out and about a bit more I wouldn’t notice my thrashing fractious baby quite as much. As it is some days are a bit miserable. And because he’s often a bit fractious he doesn’t really engage with the sensory box I have or those black and white books.

Have you got a sling? Will your baby sleep on you? Do they like a play gym?

At that age I think we spent most of our time doing long breastfeeds (with a kindle and a travel mug for me), mine wouldn't nap in the cot or anything like that but would sleep on me (again with tea/snack/book for me), very long walks in the pram, and I also wore mine in the sling a lot so that I could move around and get on with things while the baby was held close. I would also recommend a bouncy chair and baby gym/hanging bar where you can hang different things on it every day. You could also try things like gentle music in the background, or putting the baby next to a mirror or with a mobile to look at. Also reading to them (they don't need to understand!) It's so hard for new mothers during this situation. I would take any opportunity for adult company you can get, even going for a walk in the freezing cold with a travel mug. Can you form a support bubble?

@doadeer

Have you got a sling? Will your baby sleep on you? Do they like a play gym?

He won’t sleep on me, I really wish he would. He used to and I’d just prop pillows under me and watch Netflix.

The sling only really works outside and it is snowing. I don’t have a play gym but not sure he’d engage - he’s not really interested in toys yet but I can try.

I don’t really have anyone who could be in a support bubble sceptical it’s hard.

If baby is fractious a lot of the time and you say they don't nap well, it's possible they're getting over tired. Sleeping is learned - it doesn't come programmed in (irritatingly). Babies have an astonishingly short awake window when they're tiny - around 45 minutes to an hour is the max at this age - and if you go over it they do get horribly tired and sad.

Once I worked this out with mine it made life a million times easier - not only did it give me a bit of routine to help them with but they were also much much happier as a result of it so our days dragged far less.

And as PP said - enjoy spending time on the sofa what you want and cuddling them (or bouncing them in a bouncer with your foot). As they get older it'll become less easy, so take advantage now!

At 8 weeks they're still very young and easily over-stimulated which can cause issues with refusing naps. They don't need much 'entertaining' at this age.
Someone up thread has mentioned the EASY routine and this worked wonders for my two. Eat, Activity, Sleep, Your time.

So when baby wakes, feed them. Then activity time. At this age that might've been 10 minutes on the playmat (certainly no longer), a bounce in the bouncy chair, a story on my knee (black and white books are good at this age) or 5 minutes in the big cot under the mobile. They really don't need much. Usually a nappy change too during the 'activity' time.

At the first sign of being tired (grizzling, lack of focus on the activity), dim the lights and get ready for a nap. If your baby is a serious nap refuser, then pop them in the pram or a sling and go out for a walk for the nap. The chances are the cooler air will send them to sleep. But once they get used to the routine, you'll find they'll start napping at home. I put mine in their cribs upstairs with the curtains drawn (use a baby monitor). Use the nap time to do something for you. If our walking, listen to a podcast. At home, read a book or watch TV.
When they wake, if you feel it's been too short a nap, leave them for a minute or two (no more). Some babies wake between sleeping cycles but will go back to sleep if given the chance. If they don't settle again, then get them up and just start the EASY routine again. At this age, don't worry about the time of day, just cycle through EASY. As they get older (a few months), you can stretch the activity sessions to make nap time suit your day.

Do what you can to get through it. Treasure what you can, but especially important, treasure yourself at any available opportunity. Having a new baby is hard. If you need to do a little housework, put the baby down and do it. Use a sling if necessary i you need to cook. Sleep I the afternoon or lie in if you feel like it.

It's hard having nowhere to go and nothing to do. I know you said they aren't a napper but try and enjoy this down time together. My daughter is 18 months and it's just awful at the moment it's too cold when we are out and she's bored stiff indoors.

Believe me I know Lb and I’ve tried everything. Everything. But you do get to the point where the whole day is just trying to get the baby to sleep and it doesn’t work and then (as on Friday) you’re in a supermarket queue and suddenly they nod off. So I’m trying to not try, if that makes sense. I can’t really enjoy cuddling him when he’s like this as he just constantly squirms and kicks and headbutts and I only have very brief windows he’ll go in his bouncy chair for. I have a baby swing arriving today which I’m hoping he’ll like. But as I say this means the days are so so long because it’s not cuddling a friendly baby, it’s trying to soothe a fractious one.

Not saying this applies to you but I look at my 2 big kids now and regret all the time I spent trying to get them in a routine so I could get in with stuff. Should have spent far more time cuddling them and doing nothing much else in those early weeks.

I know this doesn’t really help but just to say try not to stress, this time when they are tiny is such a speck in their life and yours.

I know french

He’s asleep on me now.I love it. I’d stay like this all day. But not all days are like this.

But maybe they will be we can try

Music? Dance round the room with him or bounce him on your knee Try all kinds and see what he likes. Never too early to influence his musical tastes
Try hopping in the bath together. Or give him a bath during the day if he likes water. When mine were old enough to sit up in the bath I’d use that time to clean the rest of the bathroom and then sit down next to them for 45 minutes or so.
Definitely try a sling if you haven’t done that yet.
They also love nappy free time at that age - just pop some thick towels underneath and let him kick.

Is there somewhere you can lie him where he can see outside eg sky or trees.

Good luck, it’s a hard age.

Oh lovely baby is still so young, only 8 weeks old! It’s such a hard time at the moment but trust me you are not alone!!

Mine is 14 weeks and not really a napper either, just has 10-15 min cat naps in the day. He is also horribly refluxy so we just don’t do tummy time as he ends up upset from vomiting all over the floor (and face planting it!)

Things that help us:

1. Similar routine every day to try and encourage regular “nap” time (even if he doesn’t actually sleep, then just quiet time chilling on mummy or in his Moses basket)

2. ANY activity or stimulation to give his brain a workout and tire him out - lying on his playgym, sitting in his swing chair with toys hanging down, taking him with me wherever I am in the house so he can watch what I’m doing (the change of environment/room defo helps).

3. I’ve found constantly making faces and chatting to baby really works his little brain out and stimulates him, whatever you’re doing

(It’s early days for you but you’ll start to recognise the cues when baby is tired out from all of this and when he needs to be put down for quiet time, hopefully leading to nap time!)

If all else fails - walk in the pram always gets him to sleep. A warm bath is also fun.

Remember to sit and take time for yourself. Baby doesn’t need constant stimulation and you matter too. Do not feel pressured to “cherish” this time - its bloody hard and shit and if you’re anything like me you’ll just be getting through the day trying to keep everyone alive!

Aim small, take it one step at a time. Sending massive hugs xxxx

Uou

Gosh yes nappy off time is another great activity as PP said! Mine loves it. Lay an old towel down and whack it in the wash after.

Thanks. It’s not because I think he’s needing constant stimulation, but since he often doesn’t really sleep during the day it is easier if we keep busy as sitting with an increasingly tired and fractious baby isn’t much fun. He’s asleep on me now, I’d stay like this all day quite happily.

My baby is six months now, but sounds similar to yours at that age: nap refuser, easily overstimulated and hated cuddles. He also hated the bouncer and the sling.

I think you’re in the hardest bit. At this stage my whole day was spent trying to get him to sleep. We followed the EASY routine (sometimes activity was just nappy change), and keeping to 45 minutes wake time. Baby would nap in the pram, so I would go out five times a day with him. As he was napping well his nighttime sleep improved which meant eventually he started associating his cot with sleep so now takes naps there with ease.

I’d also get a baby gym. It’s nice to be able to put them down to entertain themselves for five minutes and get a bit of a break.

It is really boring but it does get easier. Just get through it one minute at a time and do whatever it takes to get them to sleep. Even if it means spending an hour to get them to sleep for 30 minutes.

Also ignore the running advice, for many women 8 weeks is far too soon for running.

You’re overthinking it OP, your baby is so young, just enjoy him. Babies are often fractious, it’s just part and parcel of a newborn. You could consider talking to your health visitor if you’re struggling this much

I remember the days being v long. And that year, at 3 months, we had a couple of bad weeks where we could barely get out and see people: norovirus followed by ice so thick you couldn't really get out safely with the pram. Baby gym just meant he could lie on the floor having a kick, while I went on mn. Often, he would end up falling asleep on the mat and I'd just cover him with a blanket. He was a terrible sleeper then an early riser for years. Dc was a fabulous napper, but a bloody nightmare when she was awake!

I’m guessing you had your babies pre pandemic p?

It just becomes a circle of sitting and trying to cuddle, baby is acting like an angry octopus, it’s pretty exhausting. Out and about probably wouldn’t notice as much. It’s difficult to enjoy hours of head butting and kicking!

Boring is fine, I like boring.

I honestly think the post has been misunderstood a bit.

My sister in law used to bring the pram into the hall and spend 10 minutes morning and afternoon rocking the pram quite rigorously until her ds fell asleep. He was fussy and needed the sleep. It gave her two slots in the day of peace. Worth a try maybe? My dd2 had reflux - sounds similar to your baby tbh - so if you did this you might have to raise the base of the pram so they are more upright. Good luck xx