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Original poster

If you were 44 and found out you were pregnant?

688 replies

HillsHaveEyez · 05/02/2021 21:00

Would you have it?

I’m not asking for advice for myself. Just interested in whether you personally would go ahead with a surprise pregnancy at such an advanced age.

OP posts:
Serin · 05/02/2021 22:20

God I'd have been desperate to have the baby but I was advised not to have any more after my last as I was very poorly and had a close encounter with eclampsia.

fantasmasgoria1 · 05/02/2021 22:20

Personally no. I had my children at 19 and 21. I always said my cut off was 30. My best friend had her last child at 35 and said how much hard3rf it was than her first at 20.

Echobelly · 05/02/2021 22:20

I wouldn't - not so much to do with age, but just we've finally achieved more financial equilibrium when we can afford a nicer lifestyle and I wouldn't want to be thrown into childcare fees again. Plus we've been lucky with two kids who were 'easy' babies that slept quite well; we'd never be that fortunate a third time. Plus we'd be older and more tired.

I'll be honest, I feel sort of sorry for them when I see parents my age (early 40s) exhaustedly carting around a baby and a toddler, although also glad for them as you can be pretty sure those little ones are very much wanted, however tiring they are!

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Hankunamatata · 05/02/2021 22:20

Nope that's why dh had the snip and I still take the pill.

Arborea · 05/02/2021 22:21

Yes definitely!

Thomasina2021 · 05/02/2021 22:21

Id love to - have been ttc for a year and am older than that! But think the horse has bolted !

Echobelly · 05/02/2021 22:21

Yes, DH has offered, once lockdown is over, to have a vasectomy so I don't have to bother with implant anymore!

gg12346 · 05/02/2021 22:22

Now that you have to think and ask others ,it means you really want it and are doubtful about it .

So just keep it .

swapsicles · 05/02/2021 22:23

Depends on the male perspective entirely.
Currently im 42 with an 18 year old dd and very much single.
It would depend whether I was in a relationship or not.
I could do the baby thing again just not the abusive husband and the just horribleness after I left with sorting visiting along with threats and nastiness etc.

CuppaZa · 05/02/2021 22:24

I really don’t know what I’d do.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 05/02/2021 22:24

Oh, yes. I'd have been simultaneously horrified and over the Moon.

Infertility does that to you.

VinylDetective · 05/02/2021 22:24

My son was 23 when I was 44. No way would I have started all over again at that point. I was still rejoicing at having my life back.

Fatas · 05/02/2021 22:25

@Echobelly Wow- exhaustedly carrying around a baby an toddler

40! ffs! How is it any more tiring for a 20 year old, 30 year old or 40 year old?

Abcdeisarealname · 05/02/2021 22:25

Yes. I am 44. DC 10 and 8. Id cry for a week though, only take 6 months mat leave, hire a sleep nanny for the nights and a full time nanny for the days.

Rufus27 · 05/02/2021 22:26

Yes, I would.

I am 49 with a 3 and a 4 year old. I don’t feel any different to other mums at the school gate. At least a third are over 40.

UsernameFail · 05/02/2021 22:26

I had my one and only at 40.
I am now 47 and whilst it would be a shock and we would be shattered, I know we absolutely would embrace the gift

Ylvamoon · 05/02/2021 22:26

No, I wouldn't. But then I have 2 lovely healthy DC. For me it would be starting all over again.

On the other hand, if my life was different without DC, then pregnancy at 44 would be welcome... Especially if I really wanted a baby.

SRS29 · 05/02/2021 22:27

Definitely x

Opia90 · 05/02/2021 22:27

No

Sparrowfeeder · 05/02/2021 22:27

Yes! But then I am ttc #1 at age 39 so 44 doesn’t seem to far off.

Sparrowfeeder · 05/02/2021 22:27

*too

diamondpony80 · 05/02/2021 22:27

I'd be devastated for myself as I really couldn't imagine having another kid at that age. My youngest would be already 10 and my oldest 22. But it would be against my faith to have an abortion, and even without it I know I couldn't do it anyway. I don't think I could ever get over something like that.

Tricerapops · 05/02/2021 22:28

Absolutely not. But then DH had a vasectomy after DC2 was born when we were 31 so we felt quite strongly that we couldn't do it again (recurrent mc, premature DC, difficult pregnancies)

vinoandbrie · 05/02/2021 22:28

Yes

Abcdeisarealname · 05/02/2021 22:29

@Fatas How is it any more tiring for a 20 year old, 30 year old or 40 year old?

This isn’t seriously a question? Of course it’s (generally) more tiring having babies older. SIL is 12 years younger than me and we had our babies at the same time. I wouldn’t say she had more energy than me, but she was definitely less tired and bounced back into life (including skinny jeans) way faster.