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Original poster

If you were 44 and found out you were pregnant?

688 replies

HillsHaveEyez · 05/02/2021 21:00

Would you have it?

I’m not asking for advice for myself. Just interested in whether you personally would go ahead with a surprise pregnancy at such an advanced age.

OP posts:
GordonsAliveAndEatsPies · 05/02/2021 22:09

Yes. Am 44. Am 30 weeks gone today.

Having had fertility busting chemo drugs a few years ago, followed by tests saying I was infertile, has made this rather miraculous....

TakeMe2Insanity · 05/02/2021 22:10

I had my first dc at 39. So having another at 44 would be fine.

I think it really depends on when you had your children. No right answer.

Bythemillpond · 05/02/2021 22:12

I would have been so happy. Always wanted a 3rd

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LongPauseNoAnswer · 05/02/2021 22:12

Not a hope in hell. I’m not far off 44 and DD is already 19. I only had one because I hated the job of mothering a child. I love my DD I just didn’t enjoy the relentless drudgery.

DrunkenKoala · 05/02/2021 22:13

I’m 44 and no I wouldn’t proceed. I had two children in my thirties and my last pregnancy was really tough (sickness and exhaustion). I also have a problem with my knee which I was struggling with during my last pregnancy and I think another one would do my knee lasting damage.

I was a nanny before having my own kids and I feel I’ve been doing toddlers and young kids for about 20 yrs - I’m so over it.

Kitkat151 · 05/02/2021 22:13

It would be a very hard decision .....because it would mean starting all over again as at 44 I had one out working, one in college and one at high school..... all that new found freedom would be taken away and I would be in my 60s and still claiming child benefit 🙄

EvieBoo2 · 05/02/2021 22:14

I wish I had been pregnant at 44. I'm nearly 49 so I'm never going to have another one now. I'm so grateful for my son but I would have loved to have had another baby.

BornOnTwelthNight · 05/02/2021 22:14

Absolutely no way, I’m 46 and dcs, two years ago were 23, 21 and 16.

Tbh didn’t want anymore after middle dc, (when I was 23) youngest was a surprise pregnancy that was enough for me at the age of 28.

Personally I wouldn’t have been able to cope with a two year old now!

addicted2spaniels · 05/02/2021 22:15

I was a grandmother at 44, with adult DC. I had my 1st at 22 and DD1 did the same. My Mum had me at 21, and my grandmother was also young. One of my favourite photos is of me with DD1, my mum and nan... 4 generations.

There is no way I'd have wanted a baby at that age. I struggle enough with the grandkids!!

Lauraa7 · 05/02/2021 22:15

I’m 43 with a soon to be 20 and 16 DD’s.
If I found out I was pregnant now it would be a real shock as DH has had the snip! I’m not sure what I’d do tbh, as I’m really seeing DD’s being much more independent very soon!

QueenOfPain · 05/02/2021 22:16

It would depend on my circumstances and stage of life at the time.

DamnYouAutoCatRectal · 05/02/2021 22:16

I can't imagine doing it again at 44, but for me it would be dc4, which would be the bigger consideration than my age.

By the time I'm 44 my oldest will be leaving school and my youngest just starting, so I'll be looking to start getting my career a bit more back on track.

If I hadn't had dc3 already, I'd have still wanted one more at 44 and beyond.

HappyFlamingo · 05/02/2021 22:16

I'm 46 with three DCs aged 11 to 15. If I found out I was pregnant (or I had done, two years ago) I would terminate, without a doubt.

thenewduchessofhastings · 05/02/2021 22:16

I'm 36 and I wouldn't.I've got so much on my plate that I just couldn't have another baby.I got the husband to have the snip to remove the risk of another pregnancy although it always terrifies me that we'll in the unlucky minority that experience spontaneous reversal.

Fatas · 05/02/2021 22:17

I’m sick of these judgemental threads about older mothers. If women can get pregnant and stay pregnant at such an ‘advanced age’ then it’s perfectly fine and natural. Why is mumsnet so bloody anti ‘older mothers’ 🙄

AngryPrincess · 05/02/2021 22:17

yep. Had dd at 42.

LouScot · 05/02/2021 22:18

@bitheby

As I'm 44 and TTC and currently in tears about being childless and every bloody TV programme that comes on has pregnancy in it, then yes.

All lives are different. Don't judge.

@bitheby sending you Flowers. I'm of a similar age and in the same position. It's tough, but I think many posters do realise that many women would love to be in this position even if they themselves wouldn't x
Fatas · 05/02/2021 22:18

Awww @EvieBoo2 sorry to hear that x

Mally2020 · 05/02/2021 22:18

depends if I already had children no, but if it was my first or first in a new relationship then yes

Tuscadero · 05/02/2021 22:18

@GordonsAliveAndEatsPies

Yes. Am 44. Am 30 weeks gone today.

Having had fertility busting chemo drugs a few years ago, followed by tests saying I was infertile, has made this rather miraculous....

Wow. A real miracle baby. Congrats! Smile
gruffalo28 · 05/02/2021 22:19

Yes but it would be hard

DumplingsAndStew · 05/02/2021 22:19

No. My child bearing days are over thanks very much.

GordonsAliveAndEatsPies · 05/02/2021 22:19

Same here @Fatas. I am pro-choice but if the only reason these kids are being aborted is ‘well I am a bit old’ that is a bit sad.

Fatas · 05/02/2021 22:20

@GordonsAliveAndEatsPies congrats

Greenmarmalade · 05/02/2021 22:20

Yes