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Original poster

If you were 44 and found out you were pregnant?

688 replies

HillsHaveEyez · 05/02/2021 21:00

Would you have it?

I’m not asking for advice for myself. Just interested in whether you personally would go ahead with a surprise pregnancy at such an advanced age.

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 06/02/2021 00:37

I was in perimenopause at 44 and DH had had the snip so it would've been a miracle.

However, if I had found myself pregnant at that age yes I'd have gone ahead, no question.

Youngest DS would've been 14 and wouldn't have been impressed.

ktp100 · 06/02/2021 00:37

Yup.

I had my first at 40. It's really no biggie.

CayrolBaaaskin · 06/02/2021 00:41

@VinylDetective - that doesn’t really translate into modern life though. Having no money or career at 21 would trap you in private renting now. There was cheap private housing and plentiful social housing in the 70s that we don’t have now.

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MagnoliatheMagnificent · 06/02/2021 00:41

Yes definitely. I already have an 18 year age gap between my 2. We experienced secondary infertility after dd2 so now at 48 I have been contraception free for 10 years with no pregnancy so would be really happy (and a bit shocked) if a baby turned up!

VinylDetective · 06/02/2021 00:44

[quote CayrolBaaaskin]@VinylDetective - that doesn’t really translate into modern life though. Having no money or career at 21 would trap you in private renting now. There was cheap private housing and plentiful social housing in the 70s that we don’t have now.[/quote]
I know it doesn’t ideally translate into modern life, although there are still plenty of people who do it. Nor does years spent travelling. It’s why I wouldn’t have had a baby when I was 44 though!

Weirdnessabounds · 06/02/2021 00:58

I chose to terminate when I found out I was pregnant at 43, it was the right decision for us. It would not be the right decision for other people. It’s an individual choice there is no right / wrong age.

Mustreadabook · 06/02/2021 01:00

What a strange question. Surely it depends if you wanted and planned a baby, whatever age you are? The main problem with being pregnant at 44 is that you are less likely to get pregnant, so once you are that hurdle is over!

Blondiney · 06/02/2021 01:01

If it was my first then yes.

RoseMartha · 06/02/2021 01:08

Well it would have been a miracle as I had had a hysterectomy by then.

However, hypothetically I would keep it.

PeachesandCream2020 · 06/02/2021 01:31

No, I’m 41 just now, in 3 years my children will be 24, 22 and 16! Stuff going back to the baby years!!

HarrysWife · 06/02/2021 01:36

Depends on my situation. How many DC I already had, how many bedrooms I had, whether I could support another child, how my relationship was with DH. Gut says have him/her :)

lighteincastlewindow · 06/02/2021 02:22

I would and I've had mine and don't want another, but sometimes fate gives you who is meant to come to you.

AnnabelleMarx · 06/02/2021 02:37

Yes.

Age doesn’t really seem the factor? Happy and able to support a baby seems more the issue.

I am in that position now at 43 and have been for around 25 years.

It’s never been about age for me.

But then I don’t join in the misogynistic flogging of women that tends to occur at either end of the age spectrum.

KobaniDaughters · 06/02/2021 02:45

No. When I’m 44 my DC will be 19&16 so no way would I want to go back to the baby stage

whatwherewhywhenhow · 06/02/2021 02:51

No

PrimeraVez · 06/02/2021 02:51

No. For the last few years, in conversations about potentially having a third, I’ve always said my personal cut off age would be 35.

However, I got married quite young (mid twenties) and had my first baby at 28 so I guess it’s easy for me to say all of that. I can fully understand why people don’t start having children until their forties.

MixedUpFiles · 06/02/2021 03:00

I had a very late period at 44 and I looked up my options for what calls I would need to make to arrange a termination.

I’m 46 now and for the last few years I’ve been battling an ongoing health issue. I know adding a pregnancy to the mix would just be impossible.

Thankfully DH had a vasectomy and 2 clean follow up tests so a pregnancy is incredibly unlikely.

DinosApple · 06/02/2021 08:19

Accidentally pregnant, yes I would keep it. However, by then our youngest DC would be 17.
And DH would be 63 and retired. At least no nursery charges.
It would not be easy and definitely is not something we would ever try to do.

DH's grandma had her last (13th) at 46. She'd hoped it was the menopause.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 06/02/2021 08:24

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

DD1 will be 24 when I’m 44 and DD2 will be 17. DH and I are hoping for a third at some point (DD2 is only 4mo so not yet) but I don’t want to be having babies in my 40s. DH and I will be starting to get our lives back at that point.

I don’t judge anyone that does though. Each to their own.

I should have added to this that my opinion would 100% have been different if I didn’t already have children. DD2 took over a year to conceive and that year was heartbreaking enough.

DD1 wasn’t planned and I was 19 (nearly 20) when she was born. I was very lucky that her dad, my DH, was the one for me and we just started our family early.

nitsandwormsdodger · 06/02/2021 08:25

I'm 46 and have a one year old
Don't consider myself to be at "an advanced age" !!

SavageBeauty73 · 06/02/2021 08:26

No way. But I'm a single mum to 3 teenagers and my daughter has health issues.

Ninkanink · 06/02/2021 08:30

Further to my previous answer: if I was 44 and didn’t already have children, the yes, I’d absolutely go ahead with the pregnancy.

Enb76 · 06/02/2021 08:33

No, I’m currently 44 and the thought of having a child now horrifies me. It was hard work in my early 30’s so I wouldn’t put myself through it.

Imapotato · 06/02/2021 09:47

I absolutely, definitely would not choose to get pregnant at 44, my dds would be 25 and 22! I couldn’t even imagine going back to the baby days then, I have plans that do not include a baby! And I definitely don’t want teen in my 60s!

But if I was to accidentally get pregnant, would I abort 🤔 I honestly don’t know. I better make damn sure I don’t get pregnant!!

CMOTDibbler · 06/02/2021 09:53

Ds would only have been 10, and I know personally plenty of people who had babies at 40+. A colleagues relative is having a surprise baby (thought she was post menopausal) at 51 - now that did make me a bit wobbly at the thought, but she is delighted after all the shock