Are your Zoom meetings ever like this? Parish Council meeting descends into chaos

[chomalungma]

There is some awful behaviour on here.

It breaks down badly at 4 minutes.

@Arobase

Poor Sue was left as the only reasonable one at the January meeting. Where were Can, Mr Moore, Mr Smith,and Julie's iPad? I wonder if they deliberately arranged the meeting at a time they couldn't make, or "forgot" to tell them about the meeting.

I thought maybe they all decided it was an illegal meeting and refused to attend.

Wasn’t there someone that refused to apologize for not attending the meeting? (I read the minutes but not sure if that was Jan or an earlier one).

Thank GOD that doesn't only happen in the USA! Good to know we haven't cornered the market on bad behavior by those who ought to know better! Funniest thing I've seen lately!

Whats bizarre about this, is a drama teacher/actor friend decided last year at the start of lockdown to get some of us together on Zoom, give us a subject about a local council meeting and give us a template for our characters to develop.

After the first crazy session where we worked ad-lib, he wrote the script for all the characters in this which he has continued to develop

Generally speaking we meet once a week/fortnightly on Zoom to practice our lines and the play. Its bizarre and good fun.

Seeing this on the news had us all laughing. The intent eventually is to either get it on a radio play or filmed to go live on a virtual theatre production

To be fair to the chair, he probably isn't a huge bully in real life- it's probably organised so he doesn't need to be. I know a few like him who are convinced they are right but generally very agreeable. Everyone behaves in accordance with 'how things are done'. They don't need to bully, because 'how things are done' generally works for all involved. Occasionally they rub up against a situation where things are done differently and they are all at sea. To chair a parish council meeting where there are disruptive members or residents, you have to be able to be quite authoritative at times, or you won't get business done.
He may not be a bully in real life, just a stick in the mud!

Clerks are strange beasts, hierarchically. They do a lot of boring admin stuff, but need a thorough understanding of parish council law and be able to manage relationships with 7-9 councillors and members of the public. They have a lot of responsibility while appearing to have a modest role.

Well... to my mind.... if a man insists that things are done in a certain way in a home, they are not a stick in the mud, they are a bully !

Not agreeable at all. Unpleasant if you don't toe the line exactly how they want you to. Their word is final and don't you dare question it. Thank god I married someone who goes with the flow, but I do have experience of this in childhood.

The chair of the meeting in this case was the one being disruptive, not the general public. I call it 'throwing your weight around because you are a bully and your word should be final'.

To be fair to the chair, he probably isn't a huge bully in real life- it's probably organised so he doesn't need to be

I call that treading on eggshells so you don't upset the bully in the house. Horrible.

He’s not authoritative at all, or assertive. He’s aggressive and unreasonable. Forgiving that behaviour because he likes things as they are and gets stressed when they’re not helps to normalise it.

@Maskedcrusader

Thanks for posting this, it really cheered up a long nightshift. I just sat with one of my residents, we had a cuppa & watched it. I haven't heard her laugh so much in a while. Well done Jackie.

Awww that's lovely. Your resident sounds lucky to have to looking after her as you sound like you genuinely care.

We needs as many of you as we do Jackie Weavers

[quote hannayeah]@ReceptacleForTheRespectable

Was Brewerton the one whispering angrily off camera like Gollum? It didn’t dawn on me that he could be talking to anyone physically present in his house. He seemed so awful I thought both he and laughing hyena guy must be both people with no friends or spouses who got together at his for the meeting.[/quote]
Yes, he was saying "we're in a teams meeting you fool" repeatedly, to someone off camera. He sounded vicious.

@JackieWeaverExistentialQTime

It's

And do I believe we get a reveal of Julie's iPad?

I am gripped by this! What happened to the £5000? Where was Angry Aled going that was more important than the Parish Council?? And Sue!

God, the whole team need to gang up and rid HPC of the corrupt bully trio of Aled, Barry & Tolver! I am so over-invested in this now!

In the comments on the YouTube video, someone posted that Angry Ass Aled was going to a poker game .

@Roussette

To be fair to the chair, he probably isn't a huge bully in real life- it's probably organised so he doesn't need to be

I call that treading on eggshells so you don't upset the bully in the house. Horrible.

It would be treading on eggshells if you didn't like that way of living- but they probably are surrounded by people who arrange things similarly. 'People like us'. People who know that you drink after 5.30pm, that having the tv on when there are visitors is rude, that you mustn't keep your bins at the front of your house. That you don't interrupt the Chair, that you don't drink tea or coffee with a meal etc etc.

Groups of people gather around a set of shared expectations. They aren't at all unpleasant the vast majority of the time, and wouldn't consider themselves and would be considered bullies- because it's a shared culture. It's the status quo. No one needs to throw their weight around because everyone knows how things are done. No eggshells necessary. It's all fine until someone comes along and rocks the boat.

I've been the boat rocker. I got involved in local politics/governance some years ago, and it was all very pleasant, ticking along nicely the way it had for donkey's years. Then I cropped up and rocked the boat.

The hissing guy is without doubt a very nasty piece of work. The Chair may well be, too. In his every day life though, I doubt he needs to be.

I appreciate your post. I just read it differently, that's all !

But I do get what you're saying.

I would hate to think I had to organise a family around someone who likes things done in 'a certain way' but I understand you are saying that both (husband and wife) like it done in that way perhaps...

[quote elkiedee]@ListeningQuietly The details of election results you posted are for the Handforth wards of East Cheshire council, I think, not the parish council. There is an overlap in elected membership though.[/quote]
No. They are Parish Council election results.

@thecatfromjapan

To defend Councillors: our local Councillors are amazing. They became Councillors in order to help people, they're communicative, great listeners, committed to equality.

But, yes, political culture needs a massive overhaul.

There's a MN poster who always says that we need many, many more people - specially women - to get involved in politics. That's how we change it.

So, if you watch that and find it off-putting - please also remember that you are the sort of person who could and should get involved in politics. You are way better than those men.

Be the change our children need. 😁

And there's also a group, Compassion in Politics which is trying to work to change the culture of politics.

I was in committee for a sports club my ds was in.

That was heavily woman.

Believe me - it wasn't any better. Our officers always complained about x y and z. They wouldn't offer solutions, they wouldn't like anyone else's ideas and when we got to meetings to discuss they'd make sure there wasn't enough officers to take a vote and even say "x cannot attend so we can minute or vote".

It's a complete shambles and it's now ended up most of us leaving and even moving our children to another club.

Amateur committees are often awful, whatever sex is involved! There are definite elements of that in this meeting, with the obsession with irrelevant standing orders badly understood. I’ve run a mile from any but have been perilously close to both mixed and all-female ones that were just pointless power trips! Another tell-tale sign is the dreadful ‘official talk’ that they all model in which everyone uses over-formal and stilted language like someone giving evidence in court. It drives me mad.

I was sent this by a friend on WhatsApp.
Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to members of local councils, or central government for that matter. They all have ideas above their station and personally I wouldn't pay them with washers.
Terrible people!!

@Dailyhandtowelwash "Another tell-tale sign is the dreadful ‘official talk’ that they all model in which everyone uses over-formal and stilted language like someone giving evidence in court. It drives me mad."

This happens because there is an issue that needs sorting out. Usually, standing orders don't come up from one year to the next. We may occasionally ask the clerk if the finance regs allow us to do x,y or z. When there is a problem though, the standing orders regulate how you go about resolving it. They are there to prevent cliques like this one carrying the day, but it is a painful process.

@Diggydog across the country many many people are quietly working away, unpaid, making sure that their community is represented in decision making. They are getting playgrounds renovated, making sure planners are aware of the significance of local landmarks, organising events, flowerbeds and Christmas lights. They are not dreadful people!

[quote picklemewalnuts]@Dailyhandtowelwash "Another tell-tale sign is the dreadful ‘official talk’ that they all model in which everyone uses over-formal and stilted language like someone giving evidence in court. It drives me mad."

This happens because there is an issue that needs sorting out. Usually, standing orders don't come up from one year to the next. We may occasionally ask the clerk if the finance regs allow us to do x,y or z. When there is a problem though, the standing orders regulate how you go about resolving it. They are there to prevent cliques like this one carrying the day, but it is a painful process.

@Diggydog across the country many many people are quietly working away, unpaid, making sure that their community is represented in decision making. They are getting playgrounds renovated, making sure planners are aware of the significance of local landmarks, organising events, flowerbeds and Christmas lights. They are not dreadful people! [/quote]
And hurray for good local government. I’m so pleased that Jackie is using her moment in the sun to encourage people to get involved.

But the dreadful stilted English is endemic, and happens at all committees I’ve ever seen in action. It’s as if people’s personalities change when they’re in this situation. Pomposity rises to the surface. Standing orders are the rules that provide the framework, and bringing them in will always be necessary sometimes, but saying things like ‘at this moment in time, I did not deem it necessary to request additional sugar for my libation’ is just mind numbing.

Lord no! I'm with you there. We have the odd bod that tries to be highfalutin- actually, they're all men now I think about it! 😂

So lucky where I am. The Chair of our parish council is blooming fantastic - keeps everyone updated on issues, really proactive at sorting (or trying to sort) problems, escalating to county council and various agencies, always out and about keeping footpaths cut/strimmed back. He’s an absolute gem and most people in the village are very appreciative.

My local town council meetings have been similar to this. Police and security present pre covid meetings! Town mayor voted out midway term & clerk currently suspended and under investigation! The bullying has been in our local newspaper multiple times and solicitors currently involved to work it out!

@ReceptacleForTheRespectable

He did sound really horrible and I was glad they were on video and not in person. I really thought he’d lost it and was saying all that to the universe/himself/the council.

@keffie12

That’s really funny! Like an updated dungeons and dragons.

No one needs to throw their weight around because everyone knows how things are done. No eggshells necessary. It's all fine until someone comes along and rocks the boat.

"Live by these rules or else" is walking on eggshells. Because they are invariably rules set by one person and there is no flexibility. Expecting your household to follow all your rules is bullying.

No minty, that's not what I mean. I'm talking about cohorts who flock together because they are alike. They only mix with 'people like us', and so don't offend each other. They are all happy. It tends to be gated communities, Bowling clubs, etc. Extended family groups. Couples who agree with each other about how things should be done. All very happy as long as no one new comes in and does things 'wrong'. Cliques, basically.

I live in a small village and it's strikingly obvious. Little groups very happy with how things are done, no one bullies anyone because everyone knows how things should be. Then a new housing estate is built and the new people don't fit in. That's when you see who's a bullying arsehole (and it's often both the husband and the wife).