At what age did you lose your virginity?

[toucanem]

Inspired by another thread. I think I was quite late losing mine, I was 25. What about you?

13

16

15

16. He had been my first boyfriend when I was 14 (he was a year older) and we went out for about 6 weeks. After I turned 16 he asked me one day if I was still a virgin, as he'd had sex for the first time on holiday (with his french penpal), but he'd like to be my first. So we did, and it wasn't amazing, I don't think he even came, but we were good friends and it got it over with. I didn't bother again until I was 18 and at uni and met my first real love and had really great sex Still friends with the first guy and even met up at a school reunion. We're both married with kids but he still made me a bit weak at the knees...

14 - i have no feelings about it either way. It did not seem important at the time and still doesn't.

17 very nearly 18 with my first boyfriend. He was lovely and waited for me to be ready (and he was a massive cheater which is probably why he didn't mind waiting... you live and learn)

14 still on friendly terms 30 years later

19 - almost 20

16 it wasn't special but I don't regret it.

14, I did it with a friend to 'get it out of the way' it was ok and we were both on with it.
I didn't do it again until I was 16.

15

@ktp100

13. Pissed at a party. My best friend's boyfriend, who had just taken her virginity, came into the room I was in and, well, 'climbed on' is the best way I can describe it. I didn't freak out really, I was so drunk, it just happened without my input and then he got off and then openly talked about it as if he was a big man. As an adult I feel weird about it but back then it was just brushed over. I was more upset that my friend found out, we're still good friends 30 years later and she still rags me about shagging her first boyfriend but I'm not sure if I did 'shag' him now.

Isn't it just a sad and depressing illumination of just how conditioned we are as women in this society that is has taken me 35 years and the words of strangers on an internet forum to make me realise that my first experience of sex was being raped.

I'm fine (although I can totally see how this event fed into 20 years of low self-worth & sleeping around) but I do feel so, so sad for the girls of today who, if anything, have it worse than we did. Nowadays they believe being choked during sex is acceptable and that anal is standard and to be expected from them. It's just shocking, really.

We've gone so, so wrong with this. 20 years of things becoming steadily worse while we're being told it's so much better & we're now expecting too much.

Just incredibly sad, really.

14

18 - first term at uni

14

I was 26, first proper relationship, there is absolutely nothing wrong with casual sex but it isn’t something that would be right for me.

16

Yes, the culture at my school was also about shaming virgins - I remember girls being called "frigid" from about age 11. I didn't feel ready for sex at all while still in school - at the time I assumed everyone felt that way and just had sex due to peer pressure. Was assaulted by an older boy who tried to rape me, though, so I saw sex as risky and men as a potential threat.

First time at 23, was a good age for me.

18 and in a relationship.

Agree, ktp100, I'm glad you are ok.

If it is any consolation, I have more than one similar experiences to reflect upon thanks to MN's wisdom. I was prompted to speak to Rape Crisis, who helped clarify my thoughts - I am not traumatised because I wasn't scared at the time and it was all a long time ago, but, I was raped.

It has made me vigilant around my kids understanding of consent though.

Best try my best to turn my sons loose on the world with the understanding that I'd really prefer for them to not be rapists, I guess.

20

22. I had very strict parents so didn’t really have any social life until I went to uni. It was with my first proper boyfriend and he was amazing at it

Is it terrible that I dont remember? I think 21 but could have been 20 or 22.

14

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