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Would you think this is no coincidence? Accusation of serious assault.

127 replies

Treatscatscrave · 31/01/2021 08:37

A close family member has been separated from his partner for 3 years.
He is lazy but good-looking and charming.
He basically lived with a woman who was nowhere as physically attractive as him that he was never really into in return for an easy life.

The price of this is that he had to deal with her obsessive jealousy of him. I witnessed this firsthand: he could not so much as say hello to another woman and she'd have a tantrum. I mean really lose it. Stormed into a family gathering once, totally blanked us all and glared at him.

I say this to show I think he is no saint.

Anyway, to get to the point: he has grown close to another woman lately and they bumped into her in supermarket.

Literally days later he has police asking him to attend the station. Turns out that she had made an allegation of a very serious nature over something that he supposedly did to her in mid-2000s.

This seemed really too much of a coincidence to me so I advised him that it would do absolutely no harm to mention the supermarket sighting that had occurred days earlier. He did. It seems to ME that nothing is going to come of this.

Anyway, am I right? It seems to me that the nature of the allegation is such that had she made it BEFORE the sighting ( it wouldn't have helped that he and his new woman were teenage boyfriend and girlfriend), they wouldn't have waited to investigate.

OR she'd made the allegation previously and the police thought it had no substance but, on seeing him with a new woman, she was on the phone pressing them to do something.

I have no idea how the police operate on this sort of thing, but if you do, please contribute.

I've changed some minor details of this. Namely place spotted, exact year of the time of alleged offence, and, of course, I'm not going to say what exactly he was accused of.

I'm asking here as I want clarity. I'm scared she'll do something else.

OP posts:
Krazynights34 · 31/01/2021 13:39

Ah, I’m thinking it’s neither a brother or father or son. This OP is the “new woman”. Hence she wants to believe that this Prince among men isn’t guilty of anything other than being very attractive and a bit lazy.
Obsessive jealousy isn’t characterised by “glaring” at someone. She may well have been sick of his flirting and shagging around.
But yeah it’s just a guess.
And has this “relative” been interviewed by the police yet???
Nope.
Because most of this story is bullshit

Treatscatscrave · 31/01/2021 14:06

OK. Had chat with family member and looks like this isn't being taken further. He's relieved. As am I.
I don't actually like this guy and as far as I'm concerned him and his ex deserved each other. Both pair of colluding toxic assholes imo.
But would you want this kind of accusation in your family? Worrying the people you love?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 31/01/2021 14:19

But would you want this kind of accusation in your family? Worrying the people you love

What? It’s not about the accusation, it’s about if he did it or not. And no of course no one wants an violent abuser or rapist in the family

Doesn’t mean we all blame the woman though.

Good day to you op.

Covidcorvid · 31/01/2021 15:13

@Treatscatscrave

OK. Had chat with family member and looks like this isn't being taken further. He's relieved. As am I. I don't actually like this guy and as far as I'm concerned him and his ex deserved each other. Both pair of colluding toxic assholes imo. But would you want this kind of accusation in your family? Worrying the people you love?
No I wouldn’t want the accusation. But nor would I want a relative who’s committed an assault. Guess you’ll never know if he did it or not.
cheeseybean · 31/01/2021 15:22

Funnily enough I was a jury member two years ago on a case so so similar to this.

A woman bumped into her ex in Tesco which brought back all these awful memories, she thought he had left town for good. They were together in the 90s, he abused her, raped her, etc.
The only evidence presented to the court was 'her word' some of it very very jumbled thanks to the fact it was many years ago and she was a teenage drug user at the time. No photos, no text messages.
Guess what, he was found guilty.
So yes, the police certainly in that case took it very seriously. The man is now in prison.

davidsSchitt · 31/01/2021 15:25

"Both pair of colluding toxic assholes imo."

What were they colluding? That's new. A couple of hours ago she was abusing and beating him.

Whether it's going any further or not, you're likely covering for and defending an abuser. Not nice.

Good day to you.

Treatscatscrave · 31/01/2021 15:29

Guess not.
I don't think so, though
You see it is entirely possible that he can be an using, cocklodging scumbag and her being obsessively jealous at the same time- the two aren't mutually exclusive.

I don't like either of them and moreover this new woman is probably groomed as a replacement.

But being a using scumbag doesn't make him violent and although it doesn't matter now, I'll always -given her past behaviour believe- that the sighting of him with another female prompted this allegation.

OP posts:
willFOURbagsbeenough · 31/01/2021 15:48

I'll always -given her past behaviour believe- that the sighting of him with another female prompted this allegation.

Not sure what you’ve posted for then If you’ve your mind made up that he is innocent.

Treatscatscrave · 31/01/2021 16:07

@davidschitt.
No sorry not true.

He's a user but that doesn't make him an abuser.

I've witnessed this woman barge into my home, blank everybody present and glare at him for chatting to his own niece, his friends not being allowed into their home, all kinds of abusive obsessive stuff from her.

Are all of his family and friends all lying when they say they've witnessed this, too?

And I certainly won't give this guy a free pass! He's the biggest cocklodger I've ever met. I can't stand him.

But then I look at the whole picture and don't assume an allegation of abuse is always true.

OP posts:
PatButchersRightEarring · 31/01/2021 16:18

The fuck I just read?!

Have one of these Biscuit

PatButchersRightEarring · 31/01/2021 16:20

He's a user but that doesn't make him an abuser.

Um kinda does though. If you use someone you’re abusing them. He sounds like a cliche abuser to me and you sound like you quite enjoy the drama of it all.

Bluntness100 · 31/01/2021 16:22

I've witnessed this woman barge into my home, blank everybody present and glare at him for chatting to his own niece, his friends not being allowed into their home, all kinds of abusive obsessive stuff from her

How many times are you going to keep mentioning this one incident?

Reinventinganna · 31/01/2021 16:31

Good day to you all made me smile.

Me thinks you doth fancy your family member. Does thou?

Woolff · 31/01/2021 17:48

@Jellycatspyjamas If it was a serious assault, for example, she would have needed medical treatment.

I assume you mean 'If she had had sustained serious physical injury as a result of the assault...'

Don't minimise assault, especially if it's potentially sexual. It can still be serious even if not obvious to everyone else.

davidsSchitt · 31/01/2021 18:07

But she didn't speak so how do you know her reason for glaring? Or was it el hunk himself that told you?

Treatscatscrave · 31/01/2021 18:56

Look they're both a pair of scumbags. They BOTH did something at the start of the relationship that's morally abhorrent.
Really shit. Trust me it really was.
Also, when they got together she was sleeping with her best friend's husband when her best friend had just given birth. She's admitted this herself.

I don't particularly care for either of them.
He deserves to be alone now but so does she.

I just think it one hell of a coincidence that she seems him and his new woman a few days later this happens.

That's all. I don't want to start an argument and I know too well that the vast majority of women don't lie about allegations, but I don't think she's one of these majority.

Now without any sarcasm, I'll leave this thread now.

OP posts:
davidsSchitt · 31/01/2021 19:15

Ok, good day to you OP x

Treatscatscrave · 01/02/2021 08:48

Hi to anyone still reading this thread.
On reflection, my opening post here was very badly worded.
No wonder I got so much flak.
The truth is that my relative and his ex are both highly immoral people.
When they were not even a couple they both conspired to con a mutual friend out of money.
Indeed before they got together, she seemed to make a point of having affairs with men whose wives had just given birth. Even her best friend's partner.
I say this not to slut shame, but to illustrate that this is a woman who has no guilt about lying and cheating.
Their relationship was highly dysfunctional with him trading his sex appeal for an easy life. In return, she wouldn't let him even chat to other females.

Now I know - I really do- that the vast vast majority of allegations of assault ARE true. But given THEIR relationship history, I don't find it difficult to believe that him being accused of something is related to her getting angry about seeing him with new female.

So to all the genuine victims of abuse who I've upset by this thread, I'm sorry. I do believe you.
But some people do just make these things up.

OP posts:
Hazelnutlatteplease · 01/02/2021 09:24

So hes a scumbag...

but because she had an unfortunate relationship she definitely made the allegations up....

Because a scumbag is never violent.HmmConfused

That's rather a lot of misogyny there

Bluntness100 · 01/02/2021 09:37

I’m sorry op, but firstly you don’t even know if she saw them, they were all in seperate cars, and secondly being a con artist or a cheat doesn’t mean you made up a false allegation of serious assault. I think deep down you know this, no matter how much you dislike her.

I don’t think there is any benefit to you in constantly stating you’re leaving the thread, then repeatedly coming back with another drip feed to try to justify your thought process.

People who may not be very nice, do get assaulted. It’s not just good people. And as he himself has now moved from being charming just lazy to also a scumbag, then you must know none of this precludes him as capable of it.

Treatscatscrave · 01/02/2021 09:46

They're both scumbags. Did you not read the bit about them conspiring to con a mutual friend BEFORE they became a couple or her string of affairs with married men (one of whom was her best friend's partner who had just given birth?).

Look none of this matters now. The police have dismissed her claims.
Maybe - maybe-they believe as I do that this is no more than the latest move in a game played between two highly immoral people.

I only came back to apologise to those here who are genuine victims of abuse.

Yeah yeah maybe he was violent. But it's equally plausible that this is just a bullshit claim from a woman who has no compunction about conning and lying to others-even her best friend.

OP posts:
SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 01/02/2021 09:55

'The police have dismissed her claims' can also mean, "It's her word against his, and we won't be able to get the CPS to prosecute, because the chances of getting a conviction in court are slim to none'. Speak to Rape Crisis if you need to be reminded just how low the conviction rate is for serious sexual assault. Angry

Or, TLDR. The fact that the police are not proceeding with it doesn't mean that she has made it up! You've said yourself he's a scumbag Angry

PS. Every time you flounce, it makes the idea that you will actually leave the thread less believable.

Treatscatscrave · 01/02/2021 10:40

Allright.
These are my final words here.
Look, we're all just strangers in the internet, we'll never know the truth.

All I'm saying is that I won't take an allegation from someone I know to be a con artist and a liar as gospel truth. It could be true of course and you're right, he's a scumbag but so is she.

I'm not automatically going to take it as true. I just can't.

Moreover, it wouldn't surprise me if after all this they got back together. Some people enjoy this sort of masochistic relationship where she knows deep down she's being used and he can't even talk to another female without getting flak. Neither of them are mentally healthy people.

Once again, I do believe that the vast vast majority of women are telling the truth. I do appreciate that it takes a lot of courage to come forward.
So I'm genuinely sorry if I've upset such women.

But you know some people do make allegations up.

I've tried to be respectful here but am now going to let this thread die. Thanks for replies.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 01/02/2021 11:28

All I'm saying is that I won't take an allegation from someone I know to be a con artist and a liar as gospel truth

And yet you started off believing him,..

PatButchersRightEarring · 01/02/2021 17:45

I mean, I just don’t know what to say 😂