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Would you think this is no coincidence? Accusation of serious assault.

127 replies

Treatscatscrave · 31/01/2021 08:37

A close family member has been separated from his partner for 3 years.
He is lazy but good-looking and charming.
He basically lived with a woman who was nowhere as physically attractive as him that he was never really into in return for an easy life.

The price of this is that he had to deal with her obsessive jealousy of him. I witnessed this firsthand: he could not so much as say hello to another woman and she'd have a tantrum. I mean really lose it. Stormed into a family gathering once, totally blanked us all and glared at him.

I say this to show I think he is no saint.

Anyway, to get to the point: he has grown close to another woman lately and they bumped into her in supermarket.

Literally days later he has police asking him to attend the station. Turns out that she had made an allegation of a very serious nature over something that he supposedly did to her in mid-2000s.

This seemed really too much of a coincidence to me so I advised him that it would do absolutely no harm to mention the supermarket sighting that had occurred days earlier. He did. It seems to ME that nothing is going to come of this.

Anyway, am I right? It seems to me that the nature of the allegation is such that had she made it BEFORE the sighting ( it wouldn't have helped that he and his new woman were teenage boyfriend and girlfriend), they wouldn't have waited to investigate.

OR she'd made the allegation previously and the police thought it had no substance but, on seeing him with a new woman, she was on the phone pressing them to do something.

I have no idea how the police operate on this sort of thing, but if you do, please contribute.

I've changed some minor details of this. Namely place spotted, exact year of the time of alleged offence, and, of course, I'm not going to say what exactly he was accused of.

I'm asking here as I want clarity. I'm scared she'll do something else.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 31/01/2021 10:36

What does it even mean had a long relationship with a less attractive woman for an easy life?

That attractive women are hard work? That because she was less good looking she should be expected to know her place? How lucky she was to have this prize ?

And to think your brother, or whomever it is, is better looking than nearly all other men is simoly disturbing.

davidsSchitt · 31/01/2021 10:42

Your brother has been accused of attacking his ex. She's probably telling the truth and if she acted in a deranged manner it's probably because he abused and gaslighted her and made her think she was going mad.

I'm sure none of you helped at the time as you clearly thought she wasn't worthy of this utter hunk.

The fact you think he's more attractive than 99% of people is a bit creepy OP 🤢

davidsSchitt · 31/01/2021 10:44

Ha. Snap bluntness. It's clearly the brother. Feel a bit ill after reading this thread.

The supermarket meeting just triggered enough in her to decide she wasn't going to let him get away with it, or do it to anyone else.

davidsSchitt · 31/01/2021 10:44

"I’m sure ‘the coppers’ will appreciate you handing the case over"

Grin
BilboBercow · 31/01/2021 10:50

Your relative is a prick HTH

davidsSchitt · 31/01/2021 10:52

Actually, I take back the supermarket analysis because you are the OP of the car overtaking thread from yesterday.

Your brother is clutching at straws claiming (lying) that she must've seen his new girlfriend in the passenger seat as she overtook him and become insanely jealous.

The truth will be that she never passed him in her car but it's the only thing he can come up with that people might believe and nobody can disprove. He's a liar.

Treatscatscrave · 31/01/2021 10:55

I mention his looks to paint an accurate picture of what he is. A good-looking loser, a charmer who used a woman who had low self-esteem ( NOT cause of looks but other issues) and took the piss.

He used her. No doubt.

I don't like him for this. I really really don't. All of us wish he'd get off his bottom and do something.

But does this make him guilty of a serious crime? Not sure.

Maybe it reminded her and she wanted to protect new woman or maybe it was jealousy. I don't know.

Thanks for replies

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 31/01/2021 10:57

This thread is really very disturbing, it really is

And what makes it worse op is you can’t see how wrong your own thought process is. And you’re a middle aged woman too.

Hazelnutlatteplease · 31/01/2021 11:03

Oh lordy!! Please say this this isnt the boyfriend who you also describe as being a bit lazy in a padt post who you got back together with recently after dating him in your early twenties?!?! You say you changed a few key details

Run, run like the wind

davidsSchitt · 31/01/2021 11:13

"Maybe it reminded her and she wanted to protect new woman or maybe it was jealousy. I don't know."

Or maybe she never overtook him in the first place and he's a bullshitting bastard.

DWPmisery1972 · 31/01/2021 11:15

You admit he’s a lazy loser who uses women... I mean it wouldn’t exactly be shock of the century if he had been knocking her about surely?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 31/01/2021 11:23

I'm really astounded by the misogyny from you OP. Have you heard of 'handmaidens of the patriarchy'?. I have no other words. Angry

Jellycatspyjamas · 31/01/2021 11:47

*I mention his looks to paint an accurate picture of what he is. A good-looking loser, a charmer who used a woman who had low self-esteem ( NOT cause of looks but other issues) and took the piss.

He used her. No doubt.*

What is it about this prize of a human that inspires such loyalty in you?

FatCatThinCat · 31/01/2021 11:51

I think I'd probably become obsessively jealous if deep down I knew my partner didn't love me and was only with me for convenience. Your family member is reaping what he's sown.

user13752257 · 31/01/2021 12:04

There seem to be a lot of problematic men causing drama in your life lately.

DWPmisery1972 · 31/01/2021 12:15

He's more attractive than 99%most people!

Have you ever heard the phrase ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’? It sounds like you have crush on him tbh. Creepy.

Treatscatscrave · 31/01/2021 12:15

FatCatThinCat, oh sure he deserves a lot of shit.
Prison, though? Not sure about that.
Amidst all the accusations of misogyny put towards me here, nobody sees to have answered my question, though.

Isn't it a little bit too much of a coincidence that someone is accused of something bad by an ex who is obsessively jealous of their interactions with other females a few days after them being spotted with another female?

I think it is personally. I mean to ME it's just so obviously the case. Is he guilty? That's for the criminal justice system to investigate. Not me.

If the allegation had been made WITHOUT him having been seen with a new female, I'd be much more likely to believe her. Of course I would.

Thanks all for replies.

OP posts:
DWPmisery1972 · 31/01/2021 12:18

No it’s not a coincidence, maybe she finally got the confidence to report. Maybe she confided in a friend about what had happened after seeing him as it brought it all back up for her and her friend encouraged her to report. There are a myriad of reasons why women don’t report, and your spiteful remarks about her looks and doubts about her are perfect examples of exactly why.

davidsSchitt · 31/01/2021 12:20

"Isn't it a little bit too much of a coincidence that someone is accused of something bad by an ex who is obsessively jealous of their interactions with other females a few days after them being spotted with another female?"

No. It's not. It either brought it all back or she realised she's not scared anymore or she is looking out for the new girlfriend. Plenty of people answered that here but you are refusing to read it.

If he's telling you she overtook him and must've seen his girlfriend in the passenger seat and got jealous then it's probably lies he's telling you.

user13752257 · 31/01/2021 12:21

If the allegation had been made WITHOUT him having been seen with a new female, I'd be much more likely to believe her. Of course I would.

Sure, because then all of your emotional investment in defending him would evaporate, right?

You're saying you don't find it credible that a rape victim would encounter her rapist with a new woman and feel driven to do something to try to protect that woman from also being raped? Ok.

CJS only attempts to establish whether the threshold is met for the state to impose punishment anyway.

davidsSchitt · 31/01/2021 12:23

And you are a misogynist @Treatscatscrave

and you appear to have a crush on your relative. He's lying to you.

Treatscatscrave · 31/01/2021 12:23

DWPmisery1972, plausible if it were not for the fact that she was obsessively jealous of him and that he could not even politely chat to other women without getting glared at.

Or his entire family being prevented from speaking to him if we called their house, or the bruises that he seemed embarrassed about...

OP posts:
DWPmisery1972 · 31/01/2021 12:24

CJS only attempts to establish whether the threshold is met for the state to impose punishment anyway.

Exactly. And for the CPS this threshold is extremely high.

Just back down op. Stop using this ‘other female’ bullshit as a cover for your concern that someone you thought you could trust might actually be an abuser.

PegasusReturns · 31/01/2021 12:25

• She could have been triggered by seeing him.
• She could have thought the fact that he is with another woman might offer some protection from him harassing her.
• Maybe he sneered at her, looked at her in disgust, said something inappropriate and something snapped.
• Maybe his being with another woman made her realise he was never coming back and so she no longer felt the need to protect him
• Maybe seeing him living his life made her think how unfair it was after everything he did to her and question why he should get away with it.

There are a multitude of reasons why women don’t report at the time if an incident and why they later choose to. Ascribing it to her being jealous and wanting to punish him in some way is reflective on a pretty crappy attitude.

Bluntness100 · 31/01/2021 12:27

You don’t even know if she saw them

This is just horrific. That poor woman. To have been with someone who was with her but deemed her lesss attractive, wasn’t into her, and felt that because of this they would get an “easy life” in return, and his sister perceived her like this snd also put her down as an obsessive jealous person, clearly also disliked her intently, and felt her own brother was one of the best looking men to exist.