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Do you know anyone who did the "I'm just going to the shop to buy a paper" thing and who then disappeared forever?

462 replies

AliceAir · 29/01/2021 22:07

Another thread on here reminded me of a girl I was in school with years ago. Her mother apparently popped to the shop to but some potatoes and never came home, and was never heard of again.

I'm not meaning people who have met with foul play but people who have decided to disappear and then done so.

OP posts:
HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 29/01/2021 22:10

Not directly,but know of it. It’s certainly life changing for those left behind
All the what ifs, the Whys

Blackcountrychik · 29/01/2021 22:22

The story of Natalie Putt , the 17 year old girl who left her 11 week old baby and popped to the shop for cigarettes in 1993 and never came back , she’s suspected to be dead ,

AliceAir · 29/01/2021 22:24

My own mother went to work one day when I was 11 and didn't come home again. But we did get a message that she was safe and we weren't to look for her.

OP posts:
peanutbutter00 · 29/01/2021 22:27

Yes my mums dad did it to her when she was 3 years old. She met up with him again years later but lost contact. Got contact again a few years ago but he won't make an effort with any of us. My mum doesn't feel the need to have him in her life now and neither do I. I have never met him.

peanutbutter00 · 29/01/2021 22:28

So sorry to hear of your experience @AliceAir

McCorona · 29/01/2021 22:33

My best friend's dad, when she was about 12. Parents were separated since she was a baby but he was a devoted dad and came every weekend to take his daughter out. Then one weekend he didn't come, didn't answer the phone and she and her mum never heard from him again, apart from money in a card every birthday and Christmas.
He never remarried or had other kids and after he died decades later, she found that she had been left his house and entire estate.

AliceAir · 29/01/2021 22:37

Thank you @peanutbutter00 and I'm sorry for yours too.

@McCorona that's so sad. I wonder what made him do that.

OP posts:
Capetownmothercity · 29/01/2021 22:43

My uncle age 17, we worked out he had changed his name, got a passport and quietly slipped off to the usa. When my grandmother died we had the salvos trace him to let him know - which they did - but he didnt want to be found or contacted.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 29/01/2021 22:45

It’s complicated and terribly sad. The adult who disappeared and those left with all the whys

LaChatte · 29/01/2021 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. We've deleted this one as we think it could be identifying. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CoodleMoodle · 29/01/2021 22:55

Not exactly, but sort of. My father used to travel to China a lot for work. He went fairly frequently and for a few weeks at a time, but he always came back for a bit before going off again. Then when I was about 15 he went off as normal and just... didn't come back. He kept giving us excuses for why he couldn't, how he was sorry he was going to miss my 16th birthday, hadn't met my first ever boyfriend, couldn't help me through my GCSEs, etc etc.

Turned out he had a girlfriend out there and had been living with her for pretty much the whole time, and he wasn't going to come back. Relations between him and my DM were strained but we never expected any of this. He left us with thousands and thousands of pounds of debt, we had to sell the house (eventually got evicted), DM suffered with horrendous depression which still rears up every now and then. She's still suffering the effects of it, tbh.

This was 15+ years ago. I saw him once at my DGM's funeral in 2012, and once when he flew back under duress to help care for my DGF who had severe dementia, but never since. He refused to come back for my DGF's funeral a couple of years later, because my two Uncles (his younger brothers) wouldn't pay for him to fly business class! They told him to fuck off. I was heavily pregnant with DD then and was glad I didn't have to see him because I didn't think I'd be able to handle it... although I did miss the funeral in the end, because I gave birth three days previously, but I was anxious about seeing him until then and DH&DM were probably worried I was going to go into labour with the stress!

He still sends me eCards on my birthday and Christmas but they go straight into spam. Somehow he found out about my two DC, but as far as I'm concerned he'll never meet them. He missed me going to uni, my wedding, his grandchildren... but that's all his loss. I hate him.

Sorry that was so long, I get a bit fired up when I think about the arsehole!

Aquamarine1029 · 29/01/2021 23:02

2 stories. The first, I knew the wife and children when I was a child, but years earlier, before I could have remembered him, the husband went out to the store and never came back. Supposedly, he ended up having a whole new family, but his "original" children never heard from him again.

The second was my aunt's (by marriage) mother. The mother's husband abandoned her when she was pregnant with my aunt, so she moved back to live with her mum and dad. My my aunt was 2, the mother said she was going to visit and friend and never returned. My aunt was raised by her grandparents. They received a few letters over the years but never saw her again.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/01/2021 23:03

Sorry for my typos. I have a new phone and it's like learning to walk again.

JovialNickname · 29/01/2021 23:05

Me. I did and am still officially a missing person.

The police are aware I am alive and safe, and have relayed that to relatives with a message they're not to look for me.

(I won't be responding to any questions about the situation.)

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 29/01/2021 23:05

I know a family with three u/8s where the mum woke up to a goodbye note and a friend of mine whose father just posted his key through the front door.... Angry

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 29/01/2021 23:06

Hope you're ok jovial.

OrangeBananaFish · 29/01/2021 23:06

Someone from DHs extended family used to do it regularly. He would have some cash to go to the shop for supplies (bread, milk etc), but would then go missing. 3 children left behind. A few years ago he moved back to the city he's from and settled. His (now grown up) children seemed to forgive him and all was well until he did it again 3 or 4 years ago. He's back now, but 2 of the 3 children dont want anything to do with him.

BrieAndChilli · 29/01/2021 23:08

Not long term but when DH was a toddler, His Dad and grandad went to the pub (in the daytime) saw a cheap holiday to Malta so off they went. Needless to say when they came back a month later MIL dumped him! I’m not sure at what point he let her know where he was but it wasn’t straight away!

StormBaby · 29/01/2021 23:12

My dad disappeared ten years ago. He’s a sailing fanatic so I think he bought a yacht and fucked off

Raaaaaaarr · 29/01/2021 23:14

@JovialNickname I don't even know what to say....I really hope you didn't leave any kids behind.

NOTANUM · 29/01/2021 23:15

Surely it's much harder these days with social media? It is harder to start again I'd say.

Woulditbeworth · 29/01/2021 23:18

@JovialNickname - No questions, Just sending love, whatever the situation. x

IEat · 29/01/2021 23:18

My mother went to the shop for wine one Sunday afternoon and came back 6 weeks later. Said she ‘woke up’ on the train to on the North of England, age a break down. Being a heavy drinker didn’t bloody help .

AliceAir · 29/01/2021 23:18

@CoodleMoodle I'm sorry, that sounds very difficult for all involved.

@JovialNickname I hope you're safe Jax well.

OP posts:
willFOURbagsbeenough · 29/01/2021 23:21

@Blackcountrychik

The story of Natalie Putt , the 17 year old girl who left her 11 week old baby and popped to the shop for cigarettes in 1993 and never came back , she’s suspected to be dead ,
Sad

Was the baby left alone or with someone?

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