Do you know anyone who did the "I'm just going to the shop to buy a paper" thing and who then disappeared forever?

[AliceAir]

Another thread on here reminded me of a girl I was in school with years ago. Her mother apparently popped to the shop to but some potatoes and never came home, and was never heard of again.

I'm not meaning people who have met with foul play but people who have decided to disappear and then done so.

I'm so sorry @CoodleMoodle - that sounds so awful and I hope you're happier now.

I was very close to doing this years ago (pre children and marriage). I bought a train ticket but was too scared to go through with it.

To all those saying it is selfish you obviously have nice lives and supportive families. My upbringing was toxic and I was desperate for a clean break. I am very low contact with my family now which is great but I have had years of upset to get here.

My bio sperm donor. I waited on the stairs by our front door for him to pick me up and take me to the cinema, Burger King etc and he didn't turn up. I sat there for 30 minutes at first and my mum phoned him. He answered eventually and said "Don't phone me, don't look for me, as far as I'm concerned 'Cleverer' is dead' and hung up.
I think that broke my mum bless her. It was destiny though, I met the man who would become my dad and he raised me and adored me.

I know afew

Bloody hell. I thought the thread about acts of unkindness was sad but this is awful. to all of you.

Jovial said she didn't want questions, please stop asking.

To all those saying it is selfish you obviously have nice lives and supportive families. My upbringing was toxic and I was desperate for a clean break.

^
This too. 2 sides to every story.

I’m wondering though how families know if their loved on has left of their own accord or if the they have come to foul play? Must be hard to k ow if there is no contact at all and they leave out the blue?

This. For the ones who have zero contact from the day they go, I dont understand at what point you stop searching. I know its been years for some posters but you just sound so accepting of the fact they walked out. But if you had no contact since how are you so sure they werent taken or in an accident etc? Or did the people in question give you reason to doubt them before they left.

How strange. You've started a thread when you know there is one already.

Yes happened to me... well sort of

Growing up my dad was a long distance lorry driver so not around a great deal. He was an older dad when I was born and had an ex wife and 4 adult children who I never met as apparently they didn’t approve of him moving on and meeting someone else and having another child (me) when I was 17 the story goes he was made redundant and he was struggling to get another driving job due to his age at this point. His grown up daughter lived in the Channel Islands with her husband where they owned and ran a farm . So he was offered work on the farm with them which he took. He literally fucked off there and was never seen or heard of ever again by me. There wasn’t even a goodbye kiss your arse see you later or anything. According to my mother it was to be a short term arrangement until he found something more suitable here however I fell pregnant at 19 and she says he was so disgusted by the news that he ‘washed his hands of me’ and decided to stay there.

So far so good.

Later it transpired that he was actually married to the mother of his four grown up kids and had been living a double life with my mum and me (when he was around ) for the past 25 years! He hadn’t been made redundant and gone to work with his daughter and son in law. Him and his wife had sold their house (which was just up the road to us ) and had retired to Devon!! Hence him never coming back again. And to top it all off he wasn’t actually my dad. My mum has been sleeping about and someone else had fathered me. However he to this day (if he’s even still alive) isn’t aware that I know any of this information so Christ knows what he thinks I was told . He upped and buggered off without a backwards glance and never contacted me ever again. That was 18 years ago !

@EvilEdna1

The inquest which determined Natalie Putt is dead stated she had probably died (been killed) at home. Bit unfair to include her in this thread.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-46920650

They found spots of blood on her t-shirt in the loft so it looks likely she came to an untimely end rather than walked out on her baby tbf

No experience of this myself, however i do often wonder when i see missing people ads on Facebook from the "missing" charity as to how many of them have chosen to leave etc. I imagine with the amount of cctv and mobile phone tracking, bank account tracking etc it'd be very hard to just dissappear in this day and age without a trace.

@Feelinglost006 however I fell pregnant at 19 and she says he was so disgusted by the news that he ‘washed his hands of me’ and decided to stay there.

how did you feel about the fact your mum said this (after you knew the truth)? to hide the fact you werent his she basically blamed you for him not returning.

Yep, I know someone who did this. Keeping it vague because it’s not my story to tell, but before leaving said person completely wrecked the lives of their children. Visited them twice and then officially disappeared. Bankrupted the family, too. Then never contacted them again. Person’s grandparents were in on it too. Never wanted to see their grandkids. Shunned them. Aided person in stealing their own children’s furniture from their own rooms as well as the rest of the belongings from the house. Utterly horrid.

Said person has missed the births of their own grandchildren, marriages etc. Still not a word.

They’ve caused irreparable damage. Reading this scenario I’m sure you all think it was the dad in the relationship. But, no. It was the mum. Really horrible and unforgivable in my opinion.

@HarrysWife oh I was fucking angry. However on the list of things to be angry with her about this ranked fairly low down on it behind the fact that she spent from me being 17 until I was 33 lying about the identity of my father and further revelations that it was one of 4 potential people while she sat back providing no help and let me go off spending years of my time and lots of my money tracking them down one by one and taking dna tests.

As a footnote I did discover my fathers identity a couple of years ago, found out he died when I was 15 and that he’s buried a stones throw away from the home I was born and raised in !

When I was at school a friends dad didn’t return from work. It was strange as he was an absolute doting soft dad of two in a lovely village. No contact at all until I think he turned up about 5 years later.

I also know of a poor guy who had a woman with three kids latch onto him, he paid for everything and was delighted that he had a ready made family and then they did a (middle fo the day) flit and it turned out she’d run up massive credit card debts and loans in his name.

It sounds horribly common. to everyone affected.

02:01BooBahBoo
A special place in hell waiting for this 'mum'. Abandoning your own kids AND stealing from them!

When I was growing up, I always hated my grandmother. She was bitter and angry. Very Catholic and used the Bible as a weapon. We often heard about my “slutty” Aunt who walked out on the family at 17, and the shame she brought on the “good name”, etc... Another Aunt and I found her when I was about 20. We found out that my Catholic grandmother with 8 children had punished her severely for falling pregnant at 15. She had chosen not to believe her when she told her she’d been raped by the parish priest. Instead, she’d had this vulnerable, pregnant child subjected to an exorcism performed by her rapist, and explained the weight gain as a “thyroid problem” to the neighbours. She gave birth alone in a closet and smothered the baby. She and her older sister took it to the beach and disposed of it there. My grandmother had always been horrible to her. She was even worse after that. Never asked what happened to the baby or took her for medical attention. No wonder she just left as soon as she did. She thought that everyone hated her. She had been an alcoholic and straightened herself out. Unfortunately it took a toll on her health and she died young. (54)

@NotGoodEnuff

01:07Pyewhacket

There's plenty of missing people on police websites - so they haven't been solved easily on most police stations around the country.

I can only tell you what my step sister told me, and she’s pretty honest about what she does. The only time she had a problem was with a young female from a south Asian background. She went “home” and was never seen again.

Gosh this is sad.
DH has a friend who waited til his partner went to work one day, then just moved out. He's a dick but at least he doesn't have kids.

02:14Pyewhacket

I'm from an Asian background, some people from those communities often joke about taking disobedient family members back home for a 'holiday'.
Poor woman is probably dead.

This is such a sad thread.
Kim Catralls grandfather disappeared to Australia for a new life leaving a wife and children.
My hobby is family history, I discovered someone had run away to America and remarried while his wife thought he had died..

My friend's dad had some kind of breakdown, leaving her mum and three adult children. They were about 20, 18 and 15. He left one day and refused to acknowledge them ever again. This was about 15 years ago. The weird thing is, he didn't actually disappear. He started a new life in the same town. Started a new job, made new friends, carried on. But refused to speak to any of them. He is still there to this day, although eventually the rest of them moved away.

This happened years and years ago, my late DMs friend, husband and young children decided to emigrate to Australia. Lots of planning obviously, they were sailing there. Finally the big day arrived, all on the ship ready to leave, husband went off to do something.......visit bathroom, buy a paper, I don't know.......never fucking came back!!!
According to DM the poor woman had no choice but to sail off without him! DM often spoke about it, I don't think she ever got over it, never mind her poor friend.