@AtlasPine
The father moved, not to the other side of town or a neighbouring city. He moved to Spain. Like a PP said, we don’t know the ins and outs of why he wasn’t available to do half of the childcare of this poor little boy but he wasn’t there and she was, and she broke. Hugely sad to think Dylan’s short life was brought to such a tragic end but like others, I have a great deal of sympathy for his mentally ill mother. She’s been failed by her ex and by the local council (who were in turn failed by the lack of funding available for services which might have helped her).
It’s made to feel so impossible to abandon your child when you can’t cope if you are the mum. No flying off to Spain for her. She would have been painted as a most evil and unloving mum if she had taken Dylan to the offices of Ealing child and families social care and left him citing her inability to cope.
It should be made more ethically possible for parents in her situation to insist on respite care when they get to this stage without being judged harshly.
This, this.
Except you have been a parent in these conditions you cannot truly understand the weight of making constant decisions.
Could you do more to help your child progress? You want to do more? You want to prove those 'naysayers' wrong?
You can't cope, but you don't want to abandon your child, you don't want them to leave - it means you've failed your child.
You have doubts anyone can care for them well enough - that should be you - it's your duty, your reason for being a mother.
You are terrified, your child will be taken away, if you ask for help. Then who are you? what kind of mother are you?
You want your child to die before you, because who can you trust to truly care for them, when you are gone!
Add to these constant thoughts, lack of sleep, lack of respite by family or friends, depression, the constant pain in your heart that this is it forever.
She cracked under intense and constant pressure. Many us of do, but luckily, something or someone intervenes just before we break, and diverts our attention with yet another crisis. The times I have wanted to run away and die. But you can't.
Most mothers can't leave their children, and quite simply she didn't want to leave without him.
But for the grace of God. May his sweet soul rest in peace. May she find some kind of peace and forgiveness.
For anyone out there, feeling they cannot cope, please reach out; ignore the idiots who lack empathy, you are human, your child is human and your situation is real. Talking to Samaritans or true friends can lessen your pain by some degree. Getting practical help may seem impossible now, but every little bit helps. Hold on to that.