OK, who else is struggling?

[Thorilicious]

Lockdown 1, I was doing new activities, baking, cleaning and exercising.
This time round, I'm tired, my sleep is all over the place. I end up at least once a day arguing with dcs about doing their school work. I have no escape from the dcs, when normally they'd be at school and I'd be at work.
I know it won't be like this forever, but just need to know I'm not the only one...

Me too. Is there any point to life if we continue to live like this?

My anxiety is really awful at the moment. No amount of meditating is helping.

It doesn't bother me but I no longer have young children at school. I'm sure if I had, we would enjoy the time but who knows? I'd be fed up if I had no break and couldn't go out to work but my husband would have been here to take over at times and give me some freedom.

As things are, lovely. I enjoy the solitude and privacy.

@colouringindoors I'm so sorry, you must be feeling rubbish if you were already having to recover from Covid and now have something else to deal with.

I seem to have levelled out a bit after the weekend, as though I hit some kind of limit and by brain has just sent everything else down an overflow of some kind.

Thanks gliblet i feel like I'm in a nightmare today. Hope you can find something a bit nice to do today

Really struggling again today and DS is struggling too. I dont know what to do.

LizFlowers

Not sure this is really the thread for you

It’s bloody siding miserable. I’ve got 4 DC under 7 and have always home educated so I’m used to us all being together anyway and usually love it. But this is a nothing like my normal life and I’m so utterly fed up. I increasingly feel angry a lot of the time and don’t have my usual patients with DC (or DH for that matter). I’ve took it largely in my stride for almost a year and now I’ve had enough. I keep saying to DH this week ‘enough is enough I’m going to start going out places’ but where the bloody hell can we go anyway. It’s awful. I’ve been through much worse in some ways at various points in my life, some quite harrowing medical and family stuff.. but this is different.. everything else has always passed but this just goes on and on. My two littlest have never really experienced normal life and my older two are beginning to forget what it was like. A lot of people I know seem to have completely withdrawn, as a coping mechanism I guess. Actually that’s probably what I have done too.

Hideous amount of typo’s, apologies! Am wrangling a hair pulling, breastfeeding baby as I type.

@LizFlowers - just an FYI: generally I wouldn’t comment in that case unless you have specific advise to give? I wouldn’t comment on weight loss/infertility/post natal depression/getting out of debt threads just to say ‘Hi folks, just popping in to say I don’t have these problems’ 💁🏻‍♀️

"I enjoy the solitude and privacy."

What is this again, solitude and privacy? Have not experienced these things in months!!

13yo DS hugged me yesterday when he saw I was in tears just trying to get through another day. Today been easier, sun was out and took younger DC out to the park. Fresh air was just the tonic I needed after being stuck in all weekend. to everyone else having a seriously sh*t day. It can and will get better.

I agree Lesserspottedmama.

I'm not struggling but ds13 and dd11 are struggling big time. In bed all day. Tired. No motivation to do anything. Yesterday DD missed 2 meals because she was just too tired to get up. I try and set the example by exercising every day and drinking water and playing music to cheer us up, but nothing works. I love them and feel fed up of them in equal measure. It's rubbish...

Struggling so much. The DC's have lost their spark and I'm so touched out I want to scream! I'm doing all the 'right' things and yet I still feel absolutely shit.

I'm up and down, but I'm much better with something to look forward to. I have booked totally refundable cheap UK holidays. It almost doesnt matter if they get cancelled last minute. It gives me focus.

I was day dreaming about when non essential shops reopen yesterday. It didnt take long to remember it will be limited loos, queues etc for that to come crashing down.

I have a small list for a realistic non essential shop.

I dont know, looking forward to realistic time treats while daydreaming big. Theres not much else we can do is there? I'm finding lowering my expectations also helps a bit. How sad is that? It keeps me ticking along I think

It's bloody depressing being locked in. I have a zoom call twice a week with friends and every time my DH finds an excuse to come in and interrupt me (once to ask what was for lunch and the other to ask when we bought the microwave so things that easily could wait an hour) I go into my craft room and he follows me in and talks at me, I start reading a book and he talks at me. I look at the news and he explains what I've just read. He's tried telling me how to wash up (he can't do it at the moment because he has a poisoned finger - last week I was really genuinely hoping that the infection would get worse just so I could have 5 minutes peace! 🤯

We do sit and chat, I'm not ignoring him but sometimes I just want my own thoughts and time to do my own thing! I'm glad the weather’s improved so he can go out in the garden again. Never felt so down and oddly, alone.

I'm doing okay although I'm angry that we didn't lock down properly in the first place. I hated the last lockdown because despite the good weather I couldnt enjoy it because my neighbours played loud music and messed about loudly in their hot tub all day and all night. They absolutely didn't get that I was working long hours in a pandemic.

We moved and it is alot better but it has left me so anxious. I am worried about the lockdown lifting and the noise it will create on top of possibly more cases.

I've had a couple of good days in a row, and am using it to sort things out in the house that I've not had the energy to do recently. Today is make space in the loft, and take some stuff in our spare room up there.

I think you have to accept that there will be good days and weeks and ones where you struggle.

Having said that, I’ve run out of optimism. The relentless rain and cold doesn’t help, nor does the fact that I see people going out in cars and doing the things we’re not. I can honestly say that we have stuck rigidly to the rules, but for what purpose?

Had to ring into work today.
Heavy snow. School and nursery shut. And unable to work from home because of the kids.
Really stressed in the morning when trying to decide what to do. But I had no childcare and road conditions horrendous. Had to take the day as annual leave. Only so much annual leave I have that I can take.

New record here today, I cried by 9.20, usually I make it til 11.30 before it gets too much..

Then the wifi went off around 10, and wont be back til late afternoon so Ill have to work late into the evening to make up the time.

thesaga oh no that sounds rubbish. Cried again this morning. Can't remember the last time I've cried so much/days. pnd?

Well ds has just whispered he doesn't love me, so I'm feeling great.... He's only little so I know he doesn't mean it, but doesn't stop me feeling a bit sad.

You think you may have pnd @colouringindoors? I've been there and its so tough, for you.

Aw @Thorilicious he didnt mean it but I know it still hurts to hear that.

I keep venting on the phone to dp. He works away Monday to Friday so theres very little he can do to help though . Neither of us can take time off work as it will affect the mortgage we are in the middle of drawing down.

Its been nearly a week since I asked HR at work if there are any options available (early shift/late shift/split time/ varied days) and I have had no reply.

I desperately need help somehow but no body can help.