OK, who else is struggling?

[Thorilicious]

Lockdown 1, I was doing new activities, baking, cleaning and exercising.
This time round, I'm tired, my sleep is all over the place. I end up at least once a day arguing with dcs about doing their school work. I have no escape from the dcs, when normally they'd be at school and I'd be at work.
I know it won't be like this forever, but just need to know I'm not the only one...

The social isolation and unreasonable multi-tasking demands are tough. I work in child protection and I’m in back to back case conferences and strategy meetings all day long, without the quick chat/grab a coffee/find out how your colleagues are on your way to a meeting-type interaction I’d normally have.

Yesterday I was in meetings from 8.30-2.30, no break, then delivering training from 3-5. DH was chairing an online conference all day. Teenage DS (autistic) and younger DD were home schooling and having various mini crises, the internet was dodgy and I felt like I was being pulled in a thousand directions.

I coped in the last lockdown because by 6pm I was outside - garden or park - and spent all weekend outdoors too, having barbecues or just reading in the sunshine. It felt like there was some respite. But by the time I finish work now it’s dark and wet and the whole family are like hunched little goblins lurching from Zoom to Netflix. Arghhhh! Really cannot wait for Spring!

I think survival mode is right. I don’t feel like I can do anything more right now other than make sure I keep a roof over our heads and that my children are safe.

I'm Struggling. I have 3 children remote learning, rural location with not enough internet capacity for live lessons. My eldest has a history of MH issues and is once again feeling suicidal and we have zero support.

I lost a parent in September to Covid who isn't in the same country.

I can't continue fit much longer.

I tell DS (10) to leave his school work at 10am and we take puppy out for a walk to do heel work training. DS is learning valuable life skills so I am making sure not to get hung up on him completing all academic work. We can't be too hard on ourselves just now. As a PP has said, it's survival mode each day to get through this.

Had a call from DDs teacher yesterday to say she's not doing enough school work, so today I'm not getting my work done to make sure she gets her work done. She's cried because I can't explain her maths work to her in a way that makes sense. It's not sustainable at all. I could cry. But DS is in a video call behind me, so would rather a class of 8 year olds didn't see me sobbing at my desk.

WotAComplete I think you're right about survival mode. We (I'm in UK) take a lot for granted, but if you're able to keep your children, warm, safe, fed and loved that is a good achievement.

Medusa if you have a chance to message your DD's teacher explain your circumstances and that you can only manage within your limitations. I am sure they will understand. I had to explain to DS1 that I couldn't do his home economics homework during weekdays as I have small DC to look after, it has to be done at weekend instead. He passed this onto his teacher and she was understanding. As long as it got completed this is what matters.

I feel like a fraud because I don’t have as much on as other people. I’m a SAHM to a reception aged child, admittedly with ASD but he’s not as severely affected as many children by this. But it’s a struggle with DH working upstairs, trying to keep DS from pestering him or making lots of noise; DS doesn’t want to do his schoolwork and can’t engage with online learning very well; and the plan was that I’d be job hunting or perhaps even have a job by now, but that’s all parked for goodness knows how long. I feel useless and so lonely - we’re rural which has many good points, but the weather is bleak at the moment. We can’t really use the garden much and the house is really small, so we’re all on top of each other. If DH gets stressed out he bottles it up until he explodes so I’m desperately trying to keep him on an even keel, otherwise I end up with DH yelling and DS crying and frankly all I want to do is join in - with both of them. At once. I’m so tired.

Yes I have hit a bit of a brick wall with it all this week.

DD gone back to uni to be locked in her flat yet again and all teaching and most social life through screen. Bloody uni has done fuck all to help them have any interaction or any fun, it's a disgrace the way freshers have been treated (not to mention those further on in course). All this is making me feel really angry on her behalf, especially at the thought of all the money paid out for this.

DS 22 finished degree last Autumn and has zero motivation and has had what bit of a job he had taken off him for now. Lockdown aside he is a lazy a* at the moment anyway and being stuck under a roof with him lolling about 24/7 is pissing me right off.

to everyone and solidarity to be supportive to each other.

I keep thinking why don't we do something at the weekend and then remembering how there is fuck all to do now. I'd love to go to a farm or a zoo or something.

@SnuggyBuggy agree. Little ds got an award at school this week, and I immediately thought that we could maybe have a meal out. And then remembered that we can't...

Really struggling today. Have made 2 mistakes with my work this week, one noticed today by a senior client who was 'not happy at all' .

I've emailed HR to see if there are any supports available - last time schools closed they said we could change shift time/ do split hours/ take time off for childcare. This time nothing has even been mentiones.

Ds7 has done no school work today.
Ds1 is going wild. He keeps opening the fridge, moving everything around and closing it again. I dont have the energy to try and stop him or direct him to try and do something else.

spudlet def not a fraud. Btw your DH could do with finding a better way to manage his stress than bottling up and exploding. Seriously not fair on you. Can you kick him out for a long walk every day?

Hit a wall now. Hideous sciatica not helping. Just want to go to bed now.

It's crap and you're not alone.
I started 2020 with a daughter. Looks like I'll end lockdown 1 million with a trans child and I'm feeling conflicting feelings. I'm not sure if I'll be able to complete the parenting journey. She requests to be called by a specific boy name and wants the school made aware. I said I need alot more time to process and feel unable to call her xxxxxx atm. She wants to buy a binder, I've told her I cannot agree to that as it damages the body. I gave birth to her I cannot condone body mutilation. She's 14.
Nothing to get her out of herself atm.

@colouringindoors That is exactly what he’s doing - we had a long talk about it last week. He knew he was being a grumpy arse and apologised without my raising it, then we agreed on a strategy to make sure we both get breaks and a bit of downtime. So we take it in turns to dog walk, and the non dog walker goes for a bike ride (him) or a run (me). This week has been much better, to be fair.

Love to everyone here. It’s bloody hard work whichever way you slice it, isn’t it.

That's good spud. Yes it bloody is.

chimera sympathies, I've been very, very close to where you are now.

Are you aware of
www.transgendertrend.com/

Sorry, too knackered for long reply. What helped: Lots of listening, talking. Sports bras rather than binder. Talk to GP about puberty. My dd is ASD which makes puberty v hard. Any underlying mental health difficulties? Check what she's looking at online. Constant reinforcement that we love her, that as a female she can dress, makeup, hair, career, interests whatever she likes. But biological sex is unchangeable. Some girls identify as boys to escape misogyny, all sorts. Some good threads in Feminism section. Best wishes.

Oh gosh I’ve just burst into tears as I couldn’t face my DDs bedtime. I’m exhausted, lonely, isolated but the house is full. I’m not doing well enough at work, I’ve no motivation and I spend 9/10 hours a day at my desk in the spare room. Day in day out. It fucking awful

Hope everyone has had a better day, but if you haven't.

This morning was an absolute disaster for me.

Ds7 (with sen) stormed off from his one to one zoom with support teacher as something had upset him. I had to try and get him back, which took a few mins. In the meantime the tesco delivery man was waiting outside for me to unpack my shopping, while I had to leave the crates in the doorway so 19 month old couldnt escape .

Just as I was telling the teacher we would try again on Monday, ds came back and continued the zoom. I managed to get the shopping out of the crates so the delivery man could leave. For the next half an hour of older ds zoom , 19 month old was complaining and demanding my attention. All this time I was supposed to be working . I got no work done at all for that full 45 mins.

Somehow, miraculously, I managed to get on top of my work by the time I finished this evening. Dp is home (he works away Monday to Friday) and has gone to get takeaway and wine.

Apparently my HR adviser will be in contact to discuss my options - I think I'll have to try the split shift option (if it is an option) to have any chance of surviving the next month.

to all.
I seem to be ill now on top of everything. Had Covid in Dec so have managed, God knows how, to pick up another bug. Nausea, headache, immense fatigue. I am sooooooooo fed up

Big virtual hugs to every single one of you, it’s all so shit, but we are doing it, we are getting through each day, it’s getting lighter and brighter every day. I think everything will feel a bit better in the spring when we actually want to go outdoors and the world looks a bit less grey.
Those of you juggling children and work at the moment I am in awe. I’m a SAHM and I feel like I’m drowning, you are absolute superheroes and I see you

This weekend, we have spent time sorting dc and our bedroom out. Its been cleaned top to bottom, dusted, vacuumed etc. Hoping that will help with the sleep side, as now it's clean, I can relax a bit more in it.

Its awful.

Ive not had it anywhere near as bad as many of you but am finding it now terrible.

Im out of words really.

I can't stop crying this morning.

I seem to just be going from one disaster to another atm.