Why are teachers still referred to as Mr/Mrs/Miss X?

[ChimaeraEgg]

Idle musing of the day but why do children still have to address teachers using their surnames? I assume that originally this was a respect thing and due to the fact that it was normal to address people at work or other adults as Mr/Mrs X? But I'm 32 and never in my adult life have I addressed another adult using their surname. School is the only place I have done it.

Eh? I’m not a teacher but am Ms X at work..

What is your job?

I'm not sure it's right to say it's unusual op- quite a few of the posters on this thread have said they prefer the formality.

That's fine, but personally I do find it unusual because it doesn't happen in any of the circles I move in. So for me it is unusual. For others it may not be.

It's an interesting discussion - all workplaces have different rules. I think the formality should apply to schools but in the civil service I call all colleagues up to and including the permanent secretary by their first name. Ministers however are referred to using their titles unless they have asked to be addressed by their first name (one of them requests this). I think the formality is helpful to keeping the appropriate distance.

@OhToBeASeahorse

Mine doesnt. Mine calls me by my title and surname.

Do you think we could have a separate teacher section for mumsnet? Ithe number of threads on one profession is becoming quite tedious

You didn't have to open the thread. It was bloody obvious what it was about 🙄🙄

Tbh it is more a thread about referring to people by their surnames in general now, isn't it!

My Gdcs’ teachers at their very good and over-subscribed primary school, are Mrs A and Mrs M. I can’t for the life of me see anything wrong with it.

I used to teach English as a foreign language to young adults, nearly all speakers of Arabic. This was not in the U.K. but the institution I worked for was British.

The house rule was first names for teachers - supposedly more cosy and casual, but many of the students weren’t happy with it, found it uncomfortable and disrespectful.
In their culture it was usual to address any adult whose name you didn’t know by ‘sister, uncle, grandmother, etc., according to age and sex. I always found it charming to be addressed as ‘sister’ by locals who didn’t know my name.

@LApprentiSorcier

I can totally understand why an extremely busy paediatric nurse who's just arrived on shift and doesn't know people's names, or have the headspace for them all, might refer to 'mum'

But staff on wards that aren't paediatric/maternity wards manage to use a name because 'mum' isn't an option.

Staff on other wards remember their patients' names, just as paediatric nurses do. They're unlikely to be expected to remember their relatives' names though, which children's nurses probably are.

Teachers at my children’s schools are all Sir/Miss (Midlands-it seems to be relevant in this discussion). I grew up in Lincolnshire and it was Mr/Mrs/Miss surname.
I am to mom when spoken to by teachers and hcps for my children...I’m okay with this-I am the kids mom after all and it’s a hard enough job without having to remember names.

Incidentally one of my kids teachers left the school they were at after teaching 3 of the 4 of them...we always got on well and when she left I asked if I could add her on FB. I did and our interactions now are always her to me Mama G (for my surname) and mine to her Mrs B. Despite the fact we clearly know each other’s first names!

By the time my dc were in Yr 13 we (DH and I) called both head teachers Jane and Andrew and they used our first names as did our DC's most senior teachers paradoxically. We are now friends with DS's Housemaster and he and his wife come to parties at our house (when not in lockdown). DS is now 26 and would never dream of calling him anything but Mr Carter.

DS's school was very formal for the boys all the way through 6th form; at DD's however the girls called some teachers by their first name. Not sure if that was a trend as dd is 3 years younger.

Both schools with clear boundaries and high academic standards and expectations for behaviour.

I am happy for my first name to be used in almost every environment: bank, solicitor, accountant, dentist, etc, because in those environments the other parties are happy with their first names being used, interestingly I prefer Mrs Hellebores when dealing with estate agents but I think that's a "smarm" issue.

I do not accept my first name being used in clinical settings. My GPs introduce themselves as Dr Blogs and that's how practice staff refer to them. Therefore neither they nor their staff may use my first name and it is an equality issue. Personally if any Dr in any setting expects to be referred to by title, then everyone else in that setting, including admin staff and nurses, should be afforded the same level of courtesy including by Mr Pompous-Arse consultant surgeon.

I can see that government ministers may expect to be address by title and can acknowledge they are above the hierarchy of an hospital consultant but having said that, all the Ministers I know generally use their first names, and I can vouch that John Major, David Cameron and Boris Johnson do. Having thought carefully of DishedUp telling me to get over myself, actually I think the boot is on the other foot.

@ChimaeraEgg

Again, if the GP calls me they ask for first name last name, not Mrs last name.

What do you call the GP?

Palavah if you read my other posts, I've already been through that.

It's weird. I went to an Indy school where 1st name was normal address. So it's really weird for me.

It did not affect in any way my level of respect for my teachers. I'm still in touch with some now and I'm 41. They were really amazing human beings whom I gained a lot from.

In my sw role I'm only ever Ms Never in court. That's court formality.

With clients I would never expect them to call me Ms anything.

School staff try and introduce me to young people with a title sometimes. It's actually the only setting this ever happens.

@TheYearOfSmallThings

In my DS's primary school they call the teachers and even the headmaster by their first names.

It freaked me out the first time my 5 year old casually said "Hey, Adam" to his principal . Wouldn't have happened in my day.

Yes, at DS’s school, all teaching staff and the Head are addressed by their first names. It’s a great environment, and an attractive change from his old school, which insisted rigidly on titles and surnames for all staff — despite the fact that dozens of the children knew one PT TA as Julie (she had been childminder and kindergarten assistant to generations of village kids) out of school, there was a completely demented stress on the need to address her as Mrs Smith once through the gate. She had my five year in wraparound care so he would walk to school with ‘Julie’, have a supervised reading lesson with ‘Mrs Smith’, and then go home again with ‘Julie’.

Interestingly @nevernotstruggling the only time a social worker has ever telephoned me he introduced himself as Mr xxxxx and attempted to use my first name. It was incredibly rude and reductive and felt designed to put a mother whose child (of 17) had MH problems in their place. Wholly unacceptable. In that situation it's Mrs Hellebores and that is not negotiable.

This is fairly obvious about having a boundary between an adult and a child. Teachers are not friends nor are they family. There are very few adults who will interact with your child who are not friends or family other than teachers. It makes sense for their to be a boundary which makes the relationship different. As adults we do sometimes adopt first names with people who are not friends or family, but we are able to recognise that the professional relationship still applies. Children will not be able to make that difference and the formality of using Sir or Miss helps to maintain that boundary.

I'm in my early 40's
I still address my parents old neighbours by their surname.
I couldn't say hello Margaret it's always hello Mrs smith😂😂.
My mum would have slapped us if we called an adult by their first name🤣🤣

@ChimaeraEgg

Idle musing of the day but why do children still have to address teachers using their surnames? I assume that originally this was a respect thing and due to the fact that it was normal to address people at work or other adults as Mr/Mrs X? But I'm 32 and never in my adult life have I addressed another adult using their surname. School is the only place I have done it.

Do you use your doctors first name or do you call them dr xxx

So do you say to your children 'We are going to see Dr. Smith' or do you say 'We are going to see Bob'?
Or is it just teachers you don't like having any form of 'respect'?

Do you use your doctors first name or do you call them dr

RTFT!

@ChimaeraEgg

Eh? I’m not a teacher but am Ms X at work..

What is your job?

Barrister. I’m Ms X in court and the judge is my lord / my lady / your honour etc.

We are going to see Dr. Smith' or do you say 'We are going to see Bob' Or is it just teachers you don't like having any form of 'respect'?

OK well firstly I'd say we are going to see the doctor, and no I don't know which doctor it is til we get there because our surgery runs an open children's clinic every afternoon, so you never know who it is til you get in and I can't recall them ever saying hello I'm Dr X regardless.

And secondly I have already stated that I don't agree that it is inherently more respectful to address someone by their surname. I don't see how it makes any sense at all that it is rude to call someone by their actual given first name.

@ChimaeraEgg

Do you use your doctors first name or do you call them dr

RTFT!

I don’t have time to read the best part of 200 posts.

Ah, yes, I see that saraclara and take your point.

Barrister. I’m Ms X in court and the judge is my lord / my lady / your honour etc

OK cool, see I hadn't thought of court! That was the point of my post, that I couldn't think of another situation where you'd address adults by their surnames. Was nothing to do with having a go at teachers.

I don’t have time to read the best part of 200 posts.

Then I don't have time to repeat my extensive answers on the same question. Have a nice day.