What kind of basic recipe can you not cook?

[OnlineMadNess]

Omelettes :( They either burn or they're raw in the middle.

@Preech

Soft boiled, eggy soldier dippy egg. Doesn't seem to matter how much advice I look up, timers I set, devices I try, or cold water baths I use: they come out solid. My DDs ask their dad to make them dippy eggs.

This is our standing family joke. I love to cook and can whip up most meals with ease.

Dippy eggs though? Nope. Impossible. Maybe 1 out of 10 is successful and soft boiled.

Every time I try, my teenager gets on the phone after to report to my mother another pitiful, failed attempt so they can both take the piss. For some reason my mother is unable to get it wrong and they're perfect every time.

Yes to the flapjacks turning into granola
Yes to the omelettes turning into scrambled eggs

Steak - I brush the outside of mine with a tiny bit of Mayo. V hot pan (I love my cast iron) with oil and butter and then sear. Leave it alone to get a crust. Season and turn over. Make sure you rest it before serving. I also always always use a thermometer. No more guessing and perfectly cooked every time.

Cooking and baking are two things I am reasonably confident with, but like a PP my poached eggs also tend to turn into big, puffy, watery clouds, even when I follow online advice! I have some little cups to broil them now, very similar to poaching and much neater.

@RedCabbageHowMuch fruit pudding is made with beef suet, oatmeal, spices, raisins and other stuff in a sausage shape and cut into circles to cook: www.westcoastfoods.co.uk/shop/store-fruit-pudding/

Very yummy!

I've just realised, I didn't include my nemesis - rosti. Never holds together, just a big, potatoy mess.

Can I suggest to those struggling with flapjack they bow down at the altar of @SoupDragon? Recipe is the second post down on here Amazing. I recommend doubling the recipe to start with - it means you are not left with half a tin of condensed milk, and they are that good you will only end up baking a second batch anyway so you might as well do a bigger batch to start with

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g the scone thread was mine! I now use the bbc good food recipe and can just about make them.
Gray I still can't make
Lasagne- oh my goodness yes you need to make the meat sauce and cook it to nice luscious texture before putting it in with lasagne sheets

I'm shit at fried egg.
More like fried slop
Although I am getting better ....

Omelette, I'm beyond rubbish at it! Can whip up all sorts of tempting delights but omelette is my nemesis!

@steppemum Please could I have your thick, rich lasagne sauce recipe? I'm crap at lasagne/spag bol and would love a decent recipe and instructions for idiots!

With rice, particularly basmati rice, it makes a HUGE difference if you're very gentle when washing it. Don't use a sieve but put it in a bowl and rinse it about 7 times under running water. Swirl it around gently with your hands. Cook in water for exactly 7 minutes, drain and then tip into a shallow dish and spread it out so it doesn't continue to cook. Use a fork to gently fluff it up. ALso good at this stage to add some ghee or melted butter with some dry fried cumin it it.
It;s a bit of extra work but well worth it!

I second that recommendation to use @SoupDragon's recipe for flapjacks. The original one has sugar as well as condensed milk and golden syrup and she says herself it's not necessary. Plenty of sugar in the two sticky liquids!

I learned a lot of basic recipes from Delia Smith's various books. I love them. Clear, reliable and (for me, anyway) pretty much foolproof.

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

I second that recommendation to use *@SoupDragon*'s recipe for flapjacks. The original one has sugar as well as condensed milk and golden syrup and she says herself it's not necessary. Plenty of sugar in the two sticky liquids!

I learned a lot of basic recipes from Delia Smith's various books. I love them. Clear, reliable and (for me, anyway) pretty much foolproof.

Can you post SoupDragon's flapjack recipe, I am sure I saved a thread with it on but can't find it!

Thanks.

It was linked above, but here goes:
**
250g porridge oats (the cheap type, not large ones),
150g Butter,
2 generous table spoons Golden Syrup
half a tin condensed milk,
100g demerera sugar [you can leave this out]
baking tin, no bigger than about 18cm x 28cm

Method: 1. Preheat the oven to 160 degrees c

1. Line the baking tin with baking parchment.
2. Melt the butter in a large saucepan over a medium heat and add the sugar and syrup. Keep gently heating and stirring until all is melted and mixed. If it starts to boil take it off the heat!
3. Add the condensed milk and mix. Bring to the boil for about a minute.
4. Remove from the heat and gradually add the oats, folding them in. All the oats should be coated, and the mixture quite dense, but still sticky. Don't add so many oats that the mixture becomes dry.
5. Pour the mixture into the tins and spread about so that it lines the tin to a depth of 2-3cm. Don't squash the mixture in, just spread it evenly.
6. Bake in the oven for about 15mins. You should take them out when they just start to go brown round the edges, don't leave longer than this. If they're still squidgy in the middle that's fine, they set on cooking.

You can substitute honey for the syrup and change the amount of sugar - I use less as they can turn out very sweet. I've also substituted some of the oats for assorted seeds and they're fab covered with a layer of chocolate.

They taste just like the soft gooey ones in M&S.

Kedgeree. Rice, bit of spice, fish, eggs.

Made a complete bleeding hash of it!

Thank you so much Gasp I quickly went through this thread looking for it but somehow missed it!

@MindGrapes

Poached egg. I just do a softish boiled egg instead.

Try a frying pan with water in

@CoodleMoodle

Lasagne. I've tried it so many times, with loads of different recipes. It never, ever tastes right. I hate when pasta goes crunchy and the sheets always seems to, no matter what I do with them. Bleurgh.

You need a wet mix, much wetter than for spag Bol

A fried egg. Burnt underneath, raw on top, every time.

I've made my peace with it tbh and now only dh fries our eggs.

You need a wet mix, much wetter than for spag Bol
You really don't. Nobody likes a sloppy lasagne!

@steppemum

I can cook most of these (and I don't do my dippy eggs, rice, lasagne poached eggs, or omlettes anything like the people advising on here! (seriously who puts a lid on when cooking omlettes)

Which just goes to show that there a many ways of cooking different things.

The ones I can't do are
scones - I can bake other things, but not scones. Always flat and rock hard
bread (mind you, my local bakery sells lovely bread, so I am not sure why I would bother, it takes so LOOONG, and is then too solid)
anything in a slow cooker - I have tried. Really I have tried and followed recipes etc, and no, always comes out less good than the same thing cooked in the oven.
homemade pizzas well, I can do them if I roll straight on to a pan, but you know how on TV they slide a wooden paddle underneath and lift it up? How? Mine sticks to the table!

Slow cooker - worse in what way? You need less liquid than the oven, if it's watery you can leave the lid off got a bit to reduce

I'm very good at eggs.

However every time I've tried to make cornflake or rice crispy nests, I split the chocolate. I make complex decorations out of buttercream, yet can't manage to melt chocolate without ruining it 🙄

@LadyDique

A fried egg. Burnt underneath, raw on top, every time.

I've made my peace with it tbh and now only dh fries our eggs.

Again, reduce heat and out a baking tray ontop of the frying pan @LadyDique Works for omlettes and fried eggs.

@Sometimesonly

You need a wet mix, much wetter than for spag Bol You really don't. Nobody likes a sloppy lasagne!

Mine is never sloppy but the pasta is cooked!

Brownies!
They're never cooked in the middle, and still a sloppy batter, but absolutely perfect the first inch round the tin.

Biscuits, they always rise and go cakey whatever I do. I've tried different recipes, tried refrigerating the dough, nothing works