What kind of basic recipe can you not cook?

[OnlineMadNess]

Omelettes :( They either burn or they're raw in the middle.

I have a problem frying chicken breasts - I can't get it to cook all the way through and remain tender. Have tried flattening with a rolling pin but it doesn't seem to work.

I have had no luck with meringues either!

To those who struggle with white sauce - the best way to do it is put all the ingredients in together at the start and whisk continuously until smooth and the butter is melted - no lumps! I got this from the Delia Smith How to Cook book - I think it's listed as 'quick white sauce'.

Curry

Delia Smith's omelette tutorial:
Since I watched this I have not gone wrong.

Fried egg. Looks scrambled. Didn't bother me when I used eat egg but it looks messy when I serve it😂
Ditto lasagne. I like it sloppy though🙄

My Yorkshire pudding recipe, does 12 or a couple medium toads, DW is veggie. Scale up or down as you like.

If you have digital scales:

Crack a couple of eggs into a mixing bowl and weigh. Add the same weight of plain flour and the same weight of milk (preferably whole milk). Whisk and gold gently with a balloon whisk till the lumps have gone. Add the same weight of cold water or beer and whisk gently till smooth, leave to stand for half an hour plus. Add salt to taste, 1/2 teaspoon typ.

We use a fairly deep non stick muffin tray that we keep specially for yorkies. The oven needs to be quite hot, our old 220 our new one 200. A little bit of oil, about a teaspoon, in each mould, then pre heat the tray, probably 10min +. Once hot, give the batter a quick stir, take the tray out, close the oven to keep it hot, and pour in the batter to about half or two thirds, till it's all gone. Back in on the top shelf for twenty minutes to half an hour, till they're done. I sometimes turn the oven down towards the end if they are a bit over enthusiastic or I'm running behind with veg.

Tips:
Different milk makes a difference, we changed to unhomogenised from the local farm and use slightly more water rather than slightly less. Skimmed milk you could probably do all milk.
If you don't have scales two eggs normally weigh about 120g but again we get eggs from the farmer so can be pretty random. Avoid really fresh eggs, older eggs maybe a touch more milk. There's something going on with the protein/fat/flour/liquid. If you have oven proof ceramic or pyrex bowls they make for great large yorkies, particularly with a single egg mix.

They freeze and reheat well, I like them cold. My Mum used to do apple Yorkshire.

So just to confirm, equal weight of egg, flour, milk water.

Sorry not clear.

I used to be useless with omelette ,they turned into a kind of scrambled egg mess ,o watched a you tube video and can now make a pretty decent omelette 🤣I recently invested in an omelette maker and they are perfect every time ,steaks are very hit and miss I find , vacuum packed ones seem to cook better IME ,I sometimes can cook a lovely tender steak but quite often they are like shoe leather 🤷

I do everything perfectly. Including everything I cook. And it all looks like it's ready for a gourmet magazine photo shoot.

I'm also drop dead gorgeous, have a perfect family and am well off so can afford the most marvellous house in the best neighbourhood.

And then I wake up.

I used to make great yorkshire puds but now depend on Aunt Bessie.

Scones are my nemesis! I posted on a thread about this during first lockdown and was supposed to try the recipe recommended there which insisted on block butter and I even bought block butter particularly and never bothered to do it! Need to get my arse in gear and try it

Rice is hit and miss sometimes lovely and fluffy, sometimes sticky sometimes plain inedible!

Weirdly I apparently do a good job with steak I'm told - I'm told because I'm veggie, have been for over 30 years and have only eaten steak once in my life! It's pure observation of many cookery shows and I can cook it "to order" too and no the eaters aren't just humouring me as if they are coming to eat they'll request I do steak without me offering. The price gives me a bloody heart attack though! I don't know how you meat eaters manage with the cost of meat!

My mum, who is generally an amazing cook and baker cannot do delicate pastry things, choux and even puff pastry totally defeat her! Yet she can knock out "regular" bakes purely on sight and practice! I've said before on here that she and my grans all baked without the use of any measuring equipment I wouldn't even dare try that! She can knock out a batch of scones - cooked - in 15 mins flat while on the phone! And they're beautiful every time! How??

@Gobacktothe90s I've just had a fry up and I have to say I manage perfect soft yolk cooked white fried eggs almost every time.

My method:

Eggs out of fridge until up to room temp (I would store at room temp but I haven't the space and if I tried to I'd probably end up with an eggy floor!) it's the first thing I do when I'm doing a fry up.

Heat the pan and a LITTLE oil they really don't need much, hotter side of medium

Once the pan is heated crack the eggs SWIFTLY AND DECISIVELY but not so hard as you reach the yolk and split it using a sharp knife (my mum winces watching me do this, she's convinced I'm gonna cut a finger off!) you just want to break the shell and barely touch the white even hard to explain and I'll admit takes practice - a chef taught me this method of cracking eggs as less chance of ending up with shell in the dish as often happens with the "cheffy" method you see on tv shows.

Again SWIFTLY AND DECISIVELY totally open shell and drop egg into pan but I agree do from a low height

Tilt the pan so the egg doesn't spread out too much and has a nice shape

When the white looks solid lift the edges with a slice and shake the pan to loosen egg.

I usually do 2 eggs so I repeat with 2nd egg

Leave to cook until whites definitely cooked, flip to cook on top side for literally a count of 5 (mississippilessly! Don't be Ross!) flip back and serve

I honestly get perfect recipe book looking fried eggs the vast majority of the time doing it this way.

Looks long and involved written down, it's really not to summaries

Warm up

Heat pan

Crack with knife

Drop in pan

Cook through

Flip and flip back

Serve

Poached eggs though? Nope! No chance!

To my shame, I can't do Yorkshire puddings and I'm from Yorkshire!

My sympathies...my porridge is rotten apparently, I'm a Scot who hates porridge!

smack them with it and make them buy you a new one

I'm another who's good at the baking but shit at the decorating I'm more "extra slice photos of shame" than main show category.

I've 3 friends who do this stuff for a living and I'm in total awe of their talent! One is about to open her 3rd shop having started just doing for friends and family. The gold and purple 5 tier wedding cake she did for a cousin was when everyone was at her saying she had to go professional. She's now won awards and all sorts.

Shortbread and other biscuits, my shortbread always spreads, burns on the edges and tastes faintly cheesy
Other types of biscuit end up either rock hard or too soft.

Rice is very hit and miss, I always cook too much and it's usually either slightly over or slightly under.

@Ohandanotherthing

rice! Always go that bit too far and it's mushy.

I always wash my rice till the water runs clear, boil until just cooked, wash all the starchy water off again and reheat in the microwave. Makes it all light and fluffy, I'm rather proud of my rice

www.nigella.com/latest/the-life-changing-magic-of-poaching-an-egg

I don't think life-changing is an exaggeration myself

Now can someone find me a method for cooking steak without burning it in the outside or drying it out

@Crampon 😱 there would be a revolt amongst the peasants, for sure. I stupidly made homemade '10-egg-yolks-pint-of-cream' custard once; now the little lighters won't have bog-standard shop stuff now. I fear the same would apply to Our Venerable Aunt Bessie
@Daftasabroom - thank you - will give them a go...

For lighters, read blighters

Rice. Until I got the Instant Pot I could NOT do rice properly. Now it’s great because the machine does it.

The trick with poached eggs is mostly down to the freshness of the egg.

Full cooked breakfast. I can do bacon and eggs fine but start to add sausage, black pudding, fruit pudding, haggis, mushrooms, tomato, tattie scones, toast, tea ... and I just can't do it.

Can make most other things PP have mentioned including a full roast, Yorkshire puddings etc though so the breakfast is my nemesis.

@TechnoDino, try stirring in a couple of tablespoons of flour or ground almonds at the end.

I can’t cook rice. It’s either watery, mushy or burnt if I have anything to do with it.

I’m a mediocre cook across the board, although my lasagne is noteworthily shit. It just always tastes like a bland meatstodge.

I’m actually pretty good at poached eggs.

Gravy is my nemesis! And pastry.

Meringues, and until recently omelettes when they suddenly clicked. For those of you having problems with rice try brown instead it does go from Hart to mushy in 30seconds.

@DuckyMcDuck for cheese sauce try and use cornflour. It has less of a floury taste and make sure you use strong enough cheese. You can also add mustard to bring out the cheese flavour.

I never flip my boiled eggs. I do use a lot of oil though, enough that I can spoon oil over the top to cook the yolk and top of the white. I have the heat on low because eggs don't take much heat to cook. I usually crack it into a little ramekin to make sure there's no shell and from there pour it into the pan. It doesn't take long at all.

I also use a little egg shaped timer in the water when I cook boiled eggs and it always works. I also keep my eggs out so they're always at room temperature.

I can't make American pancakes. My kids ask for them but I've given up trying now.

I can cook anything... except bloody yorkshires and plain boiled rice

bread, choux pastry, puff, swiss rolls, biscuits, steak, fish...ANYfuckingTHING you name I can do it

but rice....nope, welds itself to the pan, or goes to a mush. But now I have an Instant Pot and it's a revelation, gorgeous, tasty, lovely.

Yorkshires are much more hit and miss, and also Toad in the Hole, sometimes as billowy and crisp as a giant batter cloud of deliciousness and sometimes sulky, burly, heavy AF and damp. Bless the children they used to say they preferred the burly version of Toad i n the hole, and it always tastes fine, the unpredictability just vexes me.

@queentsumtsum

Full cooked breakfast. I can do bacon and eggs fine but start to add sausage, black pudding, fruit pudding, haggis, mushrooms, tomato, tattie scones, toast, tea ... and I just can't do it.

Can make most other things PP have mentioned including a full roast, Yorkshire puddings etc though so the breakfast is my nemesis.

Showing my ignorance here, but what's fruit pudding??

@48TheRogueApostrophe for American pancakes try this but whisk lightly (just until smooth) and leave to rest for 30 before frying. They are a weekend staple round here (when the kids are not eating the revolting banana pancakes)