Things on MN that aren’t real life (LIGHTHEARTED)

[Summersun2020]

Thing on Mumsnet that you’ve only ever encountered on Mumsnet (lighthearted...please don’t bowl in with “well I do that actually”...ignore or add one of your own!!

People not using fabric softener...appears that on MN people in their droves think it stinks and is devil juice (I don’t know anyone IRL who is so vehemently against it/gets a migraine from the smell?? Surely it’s not that strong?).

any sort of noise in your garden at any time-kids on a trampoline, playing a radio at a normal level, etc. Completely normal everywhere I’ve ever lived- a cardinal sin on MN!

Stopping your in laws from meeting their new baby grandchild until he or she is weeks old. And heaven forbid they would like to come and visit you in hospital with a gift (covid aside). Awful, despicable people!

People not using fabric softener I am one of them!

Man hits woman: LTB
Woman hits man: You didn't hit him hard enough. (nb. This was actually the general consensus of a thread yesterday).

Treating tampons as nuclear waste.. 5 nappy bags, a separate bin and a biohazard suit required to dispose of them in a sanitary manner.

And on no account must any male family members ever be aware of their existence.

Never eating anything you haven’t ‘freshly prepared from scratch’

Perfectly behaved teenagers

Grown ass adults unable to spend a night ( or less) alone

People being incandescent with rage because parents/in-laws have bought their child a Christmas stocking/first bike etc. Most people I know would be glad if someone else paid for this stuff.
If they are not annoyed then they are ‘anxious’. One thread recently the op was anxious because her in laws had bought a teddy that was too big!

Man hits woman: LTB Woman hits man: You didn't hit him hard enough. (nb. This was actually the general consensus of a thread yesterday)

See that’s awful but I haven’t seen that much here

Oh yes, not allowing family to see the new baby even for a few minutes for 2-3 weeks. Selfish bastards wanting to meet a new grandchild.

@Atrixie

No wedding evening guests (much better to not invite some people at all than ask them if they would like to come to the fun party bit

@Greenknees I would say the opposite. Never heard of an evening only invitation until I came on here

When I got married 30 years ago the whole point of an evening reception was that people such as work colleagues that you couldn’t invite to the wedding could still participate. Same went for hen dos. It was not considered in anyway a slight to be invited to an evening do but not the wedding itself.

@LemonBreeland

Oh yes, not allowing family to see the new baby even for a few minutes for 2-3 weeks. Selfish bastards wanting to meet a new grandchild.

I used to think this was a uniquely MN thing. But I've met a few people in RL who have made these sorts of comments, especially about their PIL and I never know what to say because it's just so odd to me.

The weird thing that only people between 30-35 should have children. Mn looks down at under 30 as too young, over 35 as too old.

Also , mooncups.

The pj one made me howl!!

Me and the kids are always in our pjs, we shower and get straight into clean ones. Nothing worse than being uncomfortable in your own home!

Pretty much everything. It's all bollocks and MN is a different world to real life. It's entertaining enough to stick with it though.

IRL I have never met anyone with anxiety. MN is full of them.

Husbands must have a hobby that can't be disclosed as it is outing. The fuck it is and it's always cycling!

I think a lot of folks have too much time on their hands and look for drama.
Some of things I have read on here....I just think why? Why are you bothered?
If that was all I had to get wound up about I'd be made up.

@carlaCox

"In our family we only eat chocolate from the local chocolatier"

"Do you think we should buy this multimillion pound house? "

...sure

Someone was on here yesterday asking people if they should sell their land for millions of pounds, as if someone like me at the other end of the country gives a fuck....

Getting yourself into uncomfortable , complicated situations with friends , non friends and neighbours because you didn’t know most people would just say “ NO “

Loo Brush Hate ™

Giving babies billions of snacks each day

OP: "I don't want to let my kids play near our local unguarded cliff edge with 50ft drop because they might fall." Comment: "Are you getting help with your anxiety OP?"

Only allowing your children to have a sugary dessert on the third Thursday of every month, but only the months that have 31 days.

Great offence taken at evening only wedding invitations.

Great offence taken at a couple preferring cash gifts at their wedding.

The competitive under eating thing.

Not answering the door unless it’s pre-booked.

I need to back off this thread becuase I'm so tempted to say yes people do ring the police every time someone pisses them off (I used to do that job) I dont use fabric softener ..i have a BTL.. etc.. oops...i honestly find it quite reflective of real life!

Calling everything “grim”

The use of the word gosh. Iv never heard anyone say gosh in real life and would probably look like this is they did

Well I'm from/in another country, I believe everything on MN. That combined with Midsomer Murders and a dose of Escape to the Chateau gives me a pretty good idea.

You are a strange lot 🤣.

(The brits i know aren't much like that)

I stopped using fabric softener when I ran out once. We tumble dry almost everything, and it made precisely zero difference to the clothes. I thought "what on earth have I been doing, wasting money on fabric softener all these years" and never bought any again.

I remember the thread where someone was absolutely HORRIFIED at the thought of a sandwich being a normal lunch item... A sandwich. A few people were pointing out that if you go into any shop that sells lunch, a sandwich is usually the staple item of the menu...but no. And if you gave your children a sandwich for lunch that was even worse, you were literally the worst parents on the planet.